one meaga-spoilery thought on Star Wars: The Force Awakens
It was tearing my heart into tiny pieces to see that Han and Leia were clearly separated, but also clearly still deeply in love. I was reconciling myself to a storyline where they might come back together, but then Han had to take on that damn mission and it was pretty clear that he wasn't going to make it.
And I was sad to lose him, but I knew I could live in a world where Han Solo was dead. I watched him fall and thought, this is sad, but I can bear this.
What I wasn't prepared for?
LEIA having to live in a world where Han Solo was dead.
I cried EVERY DAMN TIME I saw her face as soon as JJ cut to her reaction. I'm choking up even while I type this now, it's just absolutely devastating to me. I loved so much about the movie, but it was DAMN hard to see the characters I've loved since I was a child not thriving, not living that happy ending that they were promised with that goddamn Ewok Yub Nub song. Han and Leia were like the BEDROCK FOUNDATION of love in the movies for me, something that was so necessary that I never even questioned it and took it for granted that this was how the world should be.
I cannot fathom the losses that Leia has endured in this damn series at this point- her world, her son, her brother, and now Han. I love her so fiercely and it kills me that this is the narrative motif of her life.