(no subject)
So hey, here's a fun question.
What's the WORST THING I could have done in regards to my prospectus defense?
I'm pretty sure that GETTING THE DATE WRONG AND NOT SHOWING UP is probably pretty high on your list, yes?
WELL THEN. SCORE ONE FOR ME.
I just. YEAH.
I was working in the office at 1:25PM, trying to write my damn Theory essay when Professor America poked her head into the room. She asked if I was coming up, as my committee was assembled in the conference room waiting for me and had been waiting for me for ten minutes already.
Gentle readers, I hope you will not think less of me if I confess that I crumpled into tears and generally fell apart. With the utmost tact and grace, Prof America said that she'd tell them I'd be right up. GOD DAMN. I've never been more embarrassed and appalled at myself for being so stupid. I was CONVINCED that the defense was tomorrow, BUT NO. Everyone on the committee was generally nice about it (save for a few snippy comments along the lines of 'Didn't YOU set up this time?'), but. DAMMIT.
The important thing is that, after ripping the prospectus apart, finding problems with just about every aspect of what I'm trying to do, and questioning my most basic research questions, they actually passed me without having to do any rewrites. Which is definitely a THANK GOD moment, as they ALL have issues with the way I structured the prospectus and a rewrite would just... NOT be possible this week. So, YAY, but I kind of just want to crawl under my desk and have the proper cry that I was denied because I had to go right upstairs and DEFEND MY GD PROSPECTUS, with no time to prepare other than grabbing a notebook, a pen, and my keys.
I think this counts as an academic low point, despite the nominal success. I cannot IMAGINE how awful it would have been had I not been here in the office- I was planning on moving to the library to work, and had I actually gotten that far, they'd never have found me, we'd have had to reschedule, and GOD ONLY KNOWS how much that would have delayed EVERYTHING and probably earned me their everlasting enmity. Maybe my hands will stop shaking soon and I can breathe without a hitch in my throat. That would be nice.
What's the WORST THING I could have done in regards to my prospectus defense?
I'm pretty sure that GETTING THE DATE WRONG AND NOT SHOWING UP is probably pretty high on your list, yes?
WELL THEN. SCORE ONE FOR ME.
I just. YEAH.
I was working in the office at 1:25PM, trying to write my damn Theory essay when Professor America poked her head into the room. She asked if I was coming up, as my committee was assembled in the conference room waiting for me and had been waiting for me for ten minutes already.
Gentle readers, I hope you will not think less of me if I confess that I crumpled into tears and generally fell apart. With the utmost tact and grace, Prof America said that she'd tell them I'd be right up. GOD DAMN. I've never been more embarrassed and appalled at myself for being so stupid. I was CONVINCED that the defense was tomorrow, BUT NO. Everyone on the committee was generally nice about it (save for a few snippy comments along the lines of 'Didn't YOU set up this time?'), but. DAMMIT.
The important thing is that, after ripping the prospectus apart, finding problems with just about every aspect of what I'm trying to do, and questioning my most basic research questions, they actually passed me without having to do any rewrites. Which is definitely a THANK GOD moment, as they ALL have issues with the way I structured the prospectus and a rewrite would just... NOT be possible this week. So, YAY, but I kind of just want to crawl under my desk and have the proper cry that I was denied because I had to go right upstairs and DEFEND MY GD PROSPECTUS, with no time to prepare other than grabbing a notebook, a pen, and my keys.
I think this counts as an academic low point, despite the nominal success. I cannot IMAGINE how awful it would have been had I not been here in the office- I was planning on moving to the library to work, and had I actually gotten that far, they'd never have found me, we'd have had to reschedule, and GOD ONLY KNOWS how much that would have delayed EVERYTHING and probably earned me their everlasting enmity. Maybe my hands will stop shaking soon and I can breathe without a hitch in my throat. That would be nice.