The holidays are coming...
I love/hate the holidays. It's always a very very strange time for me. I can never put my finger on it either... but this time of year always has me on some sort of fucked up emotional rollercoaster. On the one hand you have the warm, happy feelings of togetherness, giving, sharing, peace and love (etc.). On the other, empty loneliness. Morose detachment. Frailty and depression. I really don't have a good fix on why this other side manifests itself during this season. Is it because my subconscious reminds me of all the crap I've had to wade through in my life? Maybe it's because I've been single through every holiday season thus far, and I'm not too happy about that. Maybe the reason this season puts me in such a bi-polar state is because for whatever reason, I become more susceptible to whatever vibes are in the air. If I pick up on good vibes, I'm really happy. If I'm around negative vibes it'll bring me way down. I'm normally pretty much like that regardless... maybe the holidays just amplify that for whatever reason.
Now to add to the mix, this'll be my first holiday season away from my family, from my San Diego friends, from everything I'm used to. I want to stay optimistic about going into these next 2 months; maybe everything will be fine this time. Maybe it was everything that I was used to that had been fucking with my emotions so much. But I doubt it. I'm the same person no matter where I go. Only time will tell... and it's rapidly approaching. I'm doing my best to remain positive, which isn't hard for me to do normally, (as most people know) and we'll see how I fair this year.
Friggin holidays... lsjdhfls
Now to add to the mix, this'll be my first holiday season away from my family, from my San Diego friends, from everything I'm used to. I want to stay optimistic about going into these next 2 months; maybe everything will be fine this time. Maybe it was everything that I was used to that had been fucking with my emotions so much. But I doubt it. I'm the same person no matter where I go. Only time will tell... and it's rapidly approaching. I'm doing my best to remain positive, which isn't hard for me to do normally, (as most people know) and we'll see how I fair this year.
Friggin holidays... lsjdhfls