life sucks
so i really miss the past. i miss hanging out with my friends and just chillin and having fun. doing random stuff that took us to the next fun thing. i miss the way things use to be. me being with trevor going to shows or just hanging out at one of our houses. we knew each other so well and no it seems like we're totally different people. i really miss him and what we had. i wish i could just reverse everything and not make that stupid mistake that i did. damn that was so dumb. i miss tiffany coming over to my house all the time cause she lived like 5 mins away. both of us ALWAYS going to shows and having a fun time. hanging out with bianca and partying with her. i liked being healthy too. being able to run fast and be at the top of my game with out any chest pains or having to worry about arthritis, taking medicine, all the bad food/stuff that can hurt me even more so now. i've made so many wrong and bad decisions. i cant live them down and they will always haunt me. i feel that those decisions i've made have led me to how i feel now. and it's true but i wish it wasnt. it seems like i have no friends like i use to, i know i have plenty of friends but everyone is off doing their own thing. and the people closest to me are overly involved with other people that i know which leaves me out of everything. i wish i was different...i wish things were different.