feelings & love are they the same thing?
(not even going to bother with the "Hi" today)
Well today I have been thinking. Thinking too deeply I might say. I have been thinking about 'feelings' and 'love'. Well I asked a guy to my prom (he plays for my dad's jazz band) and he told me to call him (he gave me his number) but I feel something, I dunno I just feel aokword (is that how you spell that?). On the way home from bible study I had no feelings... I mean I had feelings for my dad and mom and sis etc. like family and friend like but not...love. Like I didn't feel anything for any guy I had ever met. Like I had a crush for this guy at church but now.... I just forgot about it. This is vary weird for me b/c I always feel something for some guy but now I'm not sure about anything. This is really weird to me and I have been in deep thought most of the day. Its hard for me to understand what I'm going through (I know what Justin is going to say "She is in one of her 'changing moods' so I better stay away" sorry Justin but thats sometimes what I now think). I have been reading "Chobits" more (I'm on vol.4) and the book Chi is reading is called "The city with no people" and its about this 'person' going from city to city trying to find the person just for her/him (I dunno what sex it is). I feel the same way. When will I fine 'the person just for me'? I think I'v grown up more then most girls my age. I have more needs of love then regular 14 year olds. I don't know why, well I mean I did 'some' sexual stuff when I was really just a little kid and didn't know what I was doing just did what felt right to me. To touch and feel things that was so unknown to me. I did get in troble once but it fired my 'wanting to know' more about this. Maybe I was a teen when I was just 7 years old? Maybe why I have been wanting a hub is b/c I exspince stuff a teen should do at a young age? Vary hard to understand I'm sure. Its hard for me too. Though I don't understand mush of sex like what they do or if it hurts I know I did stuff that a teen should (or would) do at the 'teen' age. Well I have a need to geart I guess for anyone to understand or grant me. I'm sure I'm not going to have a hub or even find a guy to love till I'm like 40... ehhhhh. Just I want someone to 'love' me I mean really 'love' me for who I am and what I want to be even though I still don't know what I want to be yet. Maybe I am a adult in a child's body.
Well today I have been thinking. Thinking too deeply I might say. I have been thinking about 'feelings' and 'love'. Well I asked a guy to my prom (he plays for my dad's jazz band) and he told me to call him (he gave me his number) but I feel something, I dunno I just feel aokword (is that how you spell that?). On the way home from bible study I had no feelings... I mean I had feelings for my dad and mom and sis etc. like family and friend like but not...love. Like I didn't feel anything for any guy I had ever met. Like I had a crush for this guy at church but now.... I just forgot about it. This is vary weird for me b/c I always feel something for some guy but now I'm not sure about anything. This is really weird to me and I have been in deep thought most of the day. Its hard for me to understand what I'm going through (I know what Justin is going to say "She is in one of her 'changing moods' so I better stay away" sorry Justin but thats sometimes what I now think). I have been reading "Chobits" more (I'm on vol.4) and the book Chi is reading is called "The city with no people" and its about this 'person' going from city to city trying to find the person just for her/him (I dunno what sex it is). I feel the same way. When will I fine 'the person just for me'? I think I'v grown up more then most girls my age. I have more needs of love then regular 14 year olds. I don't know why, well I mean I did 'some' sexual stuff when I was really just a little kid and didn't know what I was doing just did what felt right to me. To touch and feel things that was so unknown to me. I did get in troble once but it fired my 'wanting to know' more about this. Maybe I was a teen when I was just 7 years old? Maybe why I have been wanting a hub is b/c I exspince stuff a teen should do at a young age? Vary hard to understand I'm sure. Its hard for me too. Though I don't understand mush of sex like what they do or if it hurts I know I did stuff that a teen should (or would) do at the 'teen' age. Well I have a need to geart I guess for anyone to understand or grant me. I'm sure I'm not going to have a hub or even find a guy to love till I'm like 40... ehhhhh. Just I want someone to 'love' me I mean really 'love' me for who I am and what I want to be even though I still don't know what I want to be yet. Maybe I am a adult in a child's body.