& if you ever get lonely, you can always visit your friends at the record store
i like the rain don't get me wrong but when everything in sight gets wet, i'm pissed. it needs to start being 50 again, and just stay like that.i need some reassurance from people around me. i'm not a clingy girl but i need to cheer up sometimes. i'm going through a personal slump and no one is dragging me down but me. i never feel good enough for my parents, my family, my friends.i don't feel attractive. & i think i disown a lot of people. so i'm sorry for that. i'm sorry if i've been ignorning you, it's not that like at all. i'm so fuckin frustrated with everything, it's pathetic. i'm sick & tired of school & doing my homework already and we haven't even gone through a semester yet, fuck me in the face. this is probably one of the years that i most care about. i've never kicked myself in the ass so much to just get my grades up & be a suck up. i've got a 3.0 and that's all that matters right now. and i don't know why i'm getting so worked up about everything. i make good grades, i can make even better, but i'm not top 10 and i wonder who is. i wanna get into a good college and i wanna meet new people. i wanna get the fuck out of san antonio, thats what i want to do. i have psat's tomorrow and i haven't talked to someone who's so worked up about it than me. i've got a great job & i make good money for my age & it just sucks when i have to hear the same thing over & over again, "you've fucked up your life, you have no life because of your job". i'm sorry but it's not just a fucking job, it's a fucking start of a career. i have no idea where i'm going with this, i've just had a horrible day with the rain and school. i hate backstabbers and i hate the fact that they're the people that you most care about. but you can't do anything about it, just hope no one gets hurt. never take it seriously, never get hurt. right? i'm sorry if this sounds like it's going out to you (personally) you're more than likely wrong. i'm not really taking it out on anyone.
on a lighter note: my mommy got me a new backpack & I LOVE IT!!!, this week should go by fast. i get paid fridayyy & my supervisor loves me, she says i've been great with balancing my drawer, BOOOYA.