I really like bunnys.
At least when I have to cut my losses I know how to handle a knife.
That's something I keep thinking, anyway. The world has caved in again. I don't want to be anywhere, with anyone, ever. I ask questions out of a sick need to know if I am being lied to, and take no pleasure either way, no pleasure almost no matter what. Strong desire to share this sensation with Her. I want to slap her till she's a pile of sticky blue haired mush, to set her remains on fire with overly scented soap products. I could die happy if others were simply ACCOUNTABLE. But there's no accountability. My guilt, shame, embarrassment over everything I do wrong... it bounces outward and shows me how unworthy other people are, as well.
What is it we are all supposed to be living up to, anyway? When can I make a mistake and not hate myself for it?
Lately every day feels like a mistake.
(Note to the very few who read this and may be concerned. No, I am not contemplating happily committing suicide.)
That's something I keep thinking, anyway. The world has caved in again. I don't want to be anywhere, with anyone, ever. I ask questions out of a sick need to know if I am being lied to, and take no pleasure either way, no pleasure almost no matter what. Strong desire to share this sensation with Her. I want to slap her till she's a pile of sticky blue haired mush, to set her remains on fire with overly scented soap products. I could die happy if others were simply ACCOUNTABLE. But there's no accountability. My guilt, shame, embarrassment over everything I do wrong... it bounces outward and shows me how unworthy other people are, as well.
What is it we are all supposed to be living up to, anyway? When can I make a mistake and not hate myself for it?
Lately every day feels like a mistake.
(Note to the very few who read this and may be concerned. No, I am not contemplating happily committing suicide.)