Originally posted by
easytheregenius at
Fic: Four Theories on How Rush Broke His Arm (And One Way He Did), SGU, genI just love this. These. All of them. Thankyou so very much.
Originally posted by
berryhunter at
Fic: Four Theories on How Rush Broke His Arm (And One Way He Did), SGU, genTitle:Four Theories on How Rush Broke His Arm (And One Way He Did)
Fandom: Stargate Universe
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kino Webisode #32, "Horrible Accident."
Characters: Ensemble (minus Rush)
Relationship: None, unless you count Park's hyperactive imagination
Summary: Rush isn't telling anyone how he hurt his arm. Pure indulgent humor fluff.
For an art-fic exchange with
easytheregenius. The art prompt is
here.
1.
"I dunno," Greer said, cleaning the gun with careful, slow motions. "Man does something like that to his arm and won't tell anyone how it happened, I get paranoid."
Scott inspected his own gun. "So how do you think Rush broke it, then?"
Greer turned his gun over and over, watching it catch the light. "The man's plotting something. He's always plotting something. Maybe he was figuring out how much pain people can subject themselves to."
"People don't break their own arms to prove a theory," objected Scott amiably. "Also, if he were doing that, wouldn't he injure someone else's arm instead of his own?"
Greer smiled, a quick flash of teeth. "Good point."
2.
Young and Wray were filling out paperwork. Young had expected that one tiny advantage of being on the Destiny would be that at least they wouldn't have to fill out forms, but some bean counter had decided that filling it out on their end, then sending someone through on the communication stones to verify, would suffice. So now, in between trying to figure out food and water and air and flesh-eating aliens, they also had to log personnel reports and disciplinary forms. Great.
At least, Young thought wryly, not being able to spend money, they didn't have to fill out expense reports. Now those were a pain in the --
"I saw Rush had his arm in a sling," Wray said to him abruptly. He saw she had Rush's personnel report in front of her. "Do you know why?"
"I was going to ask you," Young responded. "It wasn't part of anything the two of you were planning, was it? Like, oh, I don't know, another mutiny, perhaps?"
Wray rolled her eyes at him. "That's not funny, and no, I know nothing about Rush's arm, otherwise would I have asked you?" She thought for a minute. "Also, if we were going to plan another mutiny, broken arms wouldn't be part of it. Particularly not in the planning stage. Don't you have any confidence in my organizational ability?"
Young laughed out loud. "Okay, Camile. When you put it like that."
3.
"My theory," said Brody, "is that Rush found the bridge of the Destiny and is keeping it a secret from all of us, and broke his arm there. That's why he doesn't want to tell anyone about it."
"That's a pretty byzantine theory," Volker objected. "You think he's been keeping a secret like that from the entire ship, including all of the science team? I'm calling Occam's razor on you."
"This is Rush. When has he ever been straightforward?"
"Huh. Well, true."
4.
"I think it's obvious, Vanessa," Park said, grinning evilly. "Rush and Riley were in the infirmary at the same time, right? Clearly, Rush is Riley's love slave, and the play got a little... intense."
Chloe just barely refrained from spewing her not-sweet-potato across the table. James stopped with her spoon halfway to her mouth. "Ew!" she exclaimed. "Stop it, Lisa! I'm trying to eat here!"
"What?" Park asked. "Don't you think it's kind of a... fun... picture? I dare you to ask them if they want a threesome."
James was clearly trying to repress a snort of laughter. "You ask them, then, if you're so confident."
"Oh, I've got my own forms of entertainment," Park said breezily. "Just think about it, though. Doesn't it explain all the facts? It's why Rush keeps saying his broken arm is irrelevant."
Chloe saw TJ, sitting at the next table, lower her eyes and smile to herself. She narrowed her own eyes, thoughtfully.
5.
Chloe caught up with TJ in the corridor. "So do you know how Rush hurt his arm?"
TJ smiled at her. "I'm surprised no one's asked me except you. I get the sense people are having more fun speculating about it."
"Well, also," Chloe pointed out, "if he's not telling anyone else, why would he have told you?"
"Oh, he didn't have to. I was there. So was Riley, although he doesn't know it."
Chloe raised her eyebrows.
TJ said hastily, "Oh, no, no, nothing like what Lisa was going on about. It was that day Eli stubbed his toe in the shower --"
"Yeah, I remember." Chloe grinned. "He was kind of embarrassed about it."
"Riley was giving him a hard time about it -- he was horsing around with making a little kino recording of it, and, well, he isn't really used to the kinos. So not realizing what he was doing, he slammed into it hard enough to lose consciousness."
"Ow," Chloe said sympathetically.
"Yeah. He's fine now, of course, just got a huge bump on his head. Anyway, I was done with Eli, so I told him he could go, and I'd just gone to get one of the tools to look Riley over to make sure he was okay when Rush came in looking for Eli -- you know how he is, 'Eli, there's a 0.01% chance the ship could explode, I need Math Boy's calculations thirty seconds ago--' and he didn't look where he was going, not that he would have expected there to be a body on the floor in any case -- and he tripped over Riley and landed on his arm."
Chloe giggled. "I can see why he might not want the rest of the ship to know that. It would really mess with his image as a crazy plotting mutinous genius who is secretly screwing over, or possibly screwing, everyone else on the ship, huh?"
TJ grinned back at her.
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