Astonishing X-Men #51
Okay.
I am so fucking angry about this I have to write a BLOGPOST! (omg)
I was excited for this book, okay?
I am a big Northstar fan and Marvel made a really big publicity stunt out of this gay marriage.
The story so far felt a bit rushed. I already hate multiple flashbacks in movies and it doesn't translate better to the medium of comic, but okay.
The artwork. Oh my god, the artwork. It is horrible. They have little pig eyes and everyone looks like they ate some four year old mussles. When Kyle tells Northstart "I love you" he looks like he wants to puke every moment and the group in the scene afterwards seems like one toilet won't be enough.
Then there is Karma who looks like a walking, ghastly distorted corpse. I thought she WAS a ghastly distorted zombie, until the dialogue gave away something different.
The story really can't make anything up. We have some leftovers from other comics (mostly New Mutants, Av vs. XM) plus a lot of kitsch. It's like the authors looked up "pinkest possible gay marriage" on TvTropes and wrote a checklist.
And of all people to give the obligatory "You can't possibly love each other forever, you BOTH have penis!"-speech you chose the ALIEN?
The same alien that is covered in feathers, lays eggs and fucks everything that's covered in blood? Jesus fucking Christ, as if not enough Catholics, Jews and other morally obligated people were running around.
Oh the artwork. If I see Northstar making this "I grin myself through the vomiting" face again I'll start screaming.
And yes Havok, I am sure your grandma whose daughter in law was raped by an alien and whose son became a space pirate, who has two mutant sons, one of them atm a megalomaniac wannabe-republic (read:dictatorship) leader and the other together with the more often than not crazy, green haired daughter of a known terrorist, would only worry about two men marrying each other because they are in LOVE.
OMG IT'S A SHOUJO-EFFECT!
There's the face again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(btw the seat order doesn't make any sense)
And another one to the malartist: In the one after marriage group pic are so many stars traced (Sharon Stone, Bruce Lee, Ben Afflek ?, That guy from the 30s movies, Michael J Fox, Buddy Holly, Lucy Liu, and one whosthatface) that I have no fucking idea who is depicted. Except for that white old woman who should be Storm (aka a black, young woman).
AREN'T WE OUT OF THE AGE OF "ACCIDENTALLY" MIS-COLORING BLACK PEOPLE BY NOW?!
So.
This is it.
The big wedding.
Four pages of kitsch and a lot of necessary "oh by the way not everyone likes gays, I guess you didn't know that"'s.
And then ending in a boom from another story. Not exactly what I call a well-fleshed-out plot or a subtle ending. Probably the writer and artists tried to go for the horror-movie- "everything seemed well until...." schtick. They just failed miserably.
You know what else fails?
This issue. This fucking issue fails so hard it's passing right by Australia, passes right by Alpha Centauri and falls into the nextbest sun, which at once turns into a black hole just to make sure that is abomination of comic history never gets out again.
I am so fucking angry about this I have to write a BLOGPOST! (omg)
I was excited for this book, okay?
I am a big Northstar fan and Marvel made a really big publicity stunt out of this gay marriage.
The story so far felt a bit rushed. I already hate multiple flashbacks in movies and it doesn't translate better to the medium of comic, but okay.
The artwork. Oh my god, the artwork. It is horrible. They have little pig eyes and everyone looks like they ate some four year old mussles. When Kyle tells Northstart "I love you" he looks like he wants to puke every moment and the group in the scene afterwards seems like one toilet won't be enough.
Then there is Karma who looks like a walking, ghastly distorted corpse. I thought she WAS a ghastly distorted zombie, until the dialogue gave away something different.
The story really can't make anything up. We have some leftovers from other comics (mostly New Mutants, Av vs. XM) plus a lot of kitsch. It's like the authors looked up "pinkest possible gay marriage" on TvTropes and wrote a checklist.
And of all people to give the obligatory "You can't possibly love each other forever, you BOTH have penis!"-speech you chose the ALIEN?
The same alien that is covered in feathers, lays eggs and fucks everything that's covered in blood? Jesus fucking Christ, as if not enough Catholics, Jews and other morally obligated people were running around.
Oh the artwork. If I see Northstar making this "I grin myself through the vomiting" face again I'll start screaming.
And yes Havok, I am sure your grandma whose daughter in law was raped by an alien and whose son became a space pirate, who has two mutant sons, one of them atm a megalomaniac wannabe-republic (read:dictatorship) leader and the other together with the more often than not crazy, green haired daughter of a known terrorist, would only worry about two men marrying each other because they are in LOVE.
OMG IT'S A SHOUJO-EFFECT!
There's the face again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(btw the seat order doesn't make any sense)
And another one to the malartist: In the one after marriage group pic are so many stars traced (Sharon Stone, Bruce Lee, Ben Afflek ?, That guy from the 30s movies, Michael J Fox, Buddy Holly, Lucy Liu, and one whosthatface) that I have no fucking idea who is depicted. Except for that white old woman who should be Storm (aka a black, young woman).
AREN'T WE OUT OF THE AGE OF "ACCIDENTALLY" MIS-COLORING BLACK PEOPLE BY NOW?!
So.
This is it.
The big wedding.
Four pages of kitsch and a lot of necessary "oh by the way not everyone likes gays, I guess you didn't know that"'s.
And then ending in a boom from another story. Not exactly what I call a well-fleshed-out plot or a subtle ending. Probably the writer and artists tried to go for the horror-movie- "everything seemed well until...." schtick. They just failed miserably.
You know what else fails?
This issue. This fucking issue fails so hard it's passing right by Australia, passes right by Alpha Centauri and falls into the nextbest sun, which at once turns into a black hole just to make sure that is abomination of comic history never gets out again.