[FIC] Mass Effect: "Lineaments" (Shepard, Wrex) (2/2) [for yuletide 2009]
Continued from Part I.
She comes to fairly quickly, the impact having failed to knock her out completely although the blow did knock the wind out of her and caused her a few long moments of disorientation. However, she’s conscious enough of what’s happening around her to know that Wrex immediately rushed to her side and is aiming his shotgun at her assailant. Her attacker is standing at point-blank range, so she’s surprised he hasn’t taken the shot yet. When she’s able to focus her vision again, she rolls over to get a better look at their opponent.
As she’d guessed, it’s a krogan, though much smaller than any she has ever encountered. She estimates he would come up to her chin. Like all krogan, his body is heavy-set and his shoulders are broad, but it seems as though there’s somehow less bulk, proportionally, underneath his bio-suit when compared to Wrex. The two bear little resemblance. Whereas Wrex’s body is tan with bright red markings, the assailant’s skin has a bluish tint, and his markings are a rich verdant green. He has no visible scars and his face is wider, less pointed. It’s not until she notices the set of his eyes, which are wide open rather than narrow and suspicious, that she realizes she isn’t just looking at a smaller man, she’s being confronted by an actual krogan child.
This was probably one of the most difficult parts of the fic. We don't know anything about krogan children, so I made my best guess here, but I really had no idea.
“Is that-?” Jane looks to Wrex for confirmation.
Wrex nods. “A boy.”
We also don't know anything about the differences between krogan men and women, but I assume there would be enough physical differences that Wrex can tell it's a boy.
She looks at the boy and then returns her gaze to Wrex. “Do you know him?”
“No.”
She turns back to the boy. “Do you know who we are?”
The boy quickly shakes his head and doesn’t say anything. She gets the sense that he’s frightened, although she wonders if that’s just her trying to project human qualities on him. She knows she should assume that she has no understanding of what’s going through the boy’s mind.
Rule #1 about dealing with aliens: Don't make assumptions. Assumptions will get you killed.
Setting her pistol down on the floor and raising her hands in the air, she slowly straightens to a standing position. “I’m Commander Jane Shepard of the SSV Normandy. This is a member of my crew, Urdnot Wrex. We mean you no harm.”
At the mention of Wrex’s name, the boy gasps and stumbles backward, the pistol he had been holding falling out of his hand and clattering to the floor. Wrex doesn’t respond to his startled reaction, but he does lower his shotgun.
“So you do know who Wrex is.”
“Only by name,” the boy replies, then pauses for a moment before he continues. “My name is Zaj. Son of… Kanan.”
I am purposely avoiding last/clan names because I feel like I do not know enough of the krogan clan/tribe culture to understand exactly how the clan names work.
Wrex stiffens at the sound of that name, and Jane looks up in surprise at his visible reaction. “Wrex?”
The bigger krogan begins to walk away. She calls out his name but he doesn’t stop. When he’s reached the center of the cavern, however, he comes to a halt, and, to her astonishment, he sits down on the ground. Assuming it’s meant in part as an invitation, she and Zaj hurry over and join him.
For the longest time, Wrex doesn’t speak; he just stares off into the distance. At last, he asks, “What has your mother told you about me, boy?”
“Only that she used to be your chief lay,” Zaj says, his voice betraying no hint of emotion. “That you wanted her to lead clan Urdnot with you.”
Okay, I know the 'chief lay' bit is RETARDED, and every time I reread this I am embarrassed, but although I meant to come back and change it I could never think of anything better.
“That’s right.” Wrex turns to Shepard. “We krogan have no formalized institution of marriage, not the way you humans do. Especially now that our fertility is low and the most important thing is just to breed. But clan leaders often choose a partner to lie with exclusively. Someone to support you and lead the clan in your absence.
“Kanan and I grew up together. I decided early on that I would make her my partner once I became leader of the whole clan. But one day while I was still a tribal lord, I went on a mission to help solve a territorial dispute in the borderlands. When I came back two months later, Kanan was pregnant.”
Strangely enough, I have my ex to thank for this idea. He suggested that I write something about how in the krogan culture it's okay to go around sleeping with anyone. I told him I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that because I personally believe in monogamy (which admittedly was a stab at him and the fact that he'd cheated on me). He then said, "Well, maybe you could write about how Wrex also believes in monogamy and feels oppressed by the krogan system of polyamory." I didn't go with that idea exactly, but it did help to inspire this fic.
He shrugs. “It made sense for her to lie with others while I was gone. And Kanan became one of the very few lucky enough to carry a child to term.”
A deep silence descends over the cavern. Jane doesn’t know what to say. Her heart goes out to Wrex. She knows better than to use a word like ‘love’-Wrex would probably make fun of her and call her an idealistic human-but she does perceive a deep sense of affection in Wrex for this mysterious female krogan, Kanan. She also understands that he feels betrayed even though he’s tried to rationalize and excuse her actions.
I mean, I really feel like that describes Wrex in a nutshell. He tries to be really stoic and matter-of-fact, but he has a deep sense of loyalty that's been betrayed, and he's hurt, even though he tries to gloss over it and say it doesn't matter.
“Why didn’t you stay?” Zaj asks suddenly. “Why did you leave the clan?”
“It had nothing to do with you or your mother, kid,” Wrex grumbles. “Besides, I’m not your father. Why do you care?”
And I do want to point out that Zaj really wasn't intended to be Wrex's long-lost son. That's too cliché and not the story I'm going for here.
The boy looks down and says, “Mother says you would’ve united the clan. That you would’ve stayed. With her. With us.”
When Wrex doesn’t respond, Jane asks, “What happened to your father?”
“Skell stuck around for a year. Then he left for war. He never came back. Mother went on to lie with other men, but… she never had another child, and none of them stuck around.”
The silence is deafening, the air thick and loaded with hurt and regret. Zaj looks tense, while Wrex is slouching, his expression unreadable. Jane can practically taste their pain, and she doesn’t know what to say, what comfort she can give them.
“I’m sorry,” she finally croaks, her voice hoarse.
At this point, Shepard is more like the spectator, rather than the center of the action, which is intentional because even though it's her POV, I really wanted this story to be more about Wrex.
“What do you know, human?” Zaj hisses, his voice all of a sudden dripping with contempt.
“More than you think,” she replies. “I was born on Earth, in the slums. I never knew my parents. Like so many, they got caught up in the space age and left their children behind. Probably went to one of the colonies. I don’t know.
“If you ask me, the krogan are lucky, in a way. Not to make light of the genophage, but at least you know the value of a child. Humans are fertile, but we’ve forgotten what it really means to have children. That they’re precious commodities to be treasured. Like you.”
This is a little throwback to my previous ME fic, "Reveille". I know I wanted to keep Shepard as neutral and non-background-specific as possible, but I couldn't help but want to keep her as part of my own headcanon just a little.
Zaj looks taken aback. “Do you have children, Shepard?”
Now it’s Jane’s turn to be surprised. It’s a question she wasn’t anticipating. “No, I don’t.”
Giving it a little more thought, she continues, “I guess I never really thought about it. When you’re from the slums, you understand that having kids is a luxury that you probably can’t afford. So I always assumed I would never be a mother. But then I joined the Alliance, and I guess… Well, now I’m too busy to worry about starting a family.”
I really wanted somebody to say "You're going to make a good mother someday," or something, but it seemed too OOC for Wrex and Zaj.
“Too busy saving the galaxy and the Council’s ungrateful asses,” Wrex grunts.
She can’t help but laugh, and even Wrex lets out a few chortles. Zaj obviously doesn’t get the joke, but he catches on to the easing tension and chuckles out loud as well.
“You’re all right, Shepard. For a human,” he adds. “Sorry about knocking you out earlier. I didn’t want to take any chances. I thought you might be with them.”
Jane abruptly stops laughing. “With whom? The geth? Have you seen geth?”
I really intended for this scene with Zaj to take longer, because that was supposed to be the main part of the story, but by this point I was also like, man, this is getting really long, I need to get things moving.
“Those tall black robotic creatures, right?” Zaj asks. “Yeah, they set up a base north of here. That’s why the rest of us came down into the caves to hide.”
“There are others?” Wrex stands up and prepares his gear to leave.
“Yeah. A few other youths. We came here to gain experience surviving away from the clan. We have weapons, but we’re not well-armed enough to take on those geth.”
The others are hiding in other caves, by the way. I probably should've explained that better.
Jane is grateful that Zaj has the insight to know when not to go into a fight. He’ll make a good leader someday. “Thanks. We can take it from here.”
“Wait!” he begs as Jane and Wrex make their way to the exit. “Take me with you!”
“Absolutely not.” She refuses to knowingly endanger one of the few krogan offspring.
But Wrex tosses the boy a sniper rifle and Zaj hurries to catch up with them, grinning.
The idea here is that Wrex realizes this is supposed to be an important part of his boy-transformation-into-manhood thing, or whatever. But he also doesn't want to risk a krogan boy's life by putting him in the direct line of fire. Also, Wrex doesn't use sniper rifles, but he always carries one, so it's his most expendable weapon.
***
“The base is just up ahead,” Zaj whispers.
Once outside, Zaj had led the way while the other two covered him from behind. He had taken them between the various rock outcroppings in a northerly direction. The terrain had grown more treacherous as they continued on, but Zaj had made it clear that he’s familiar with the area and knows when to warn them to watch their footing. At last, the spiky protrusions had given way to an area with a natural rock wall straight ahead and a massive boulder to the right. Shepard’s radar confirms that there are enemies on the other side of the wall.
The geth had done well to choose this location; the natural fortifications will make it almost impossible to sneak into the base undetected. As he lacks heavy armor and combat experience in the field, if Zaj follows them in, he will surely be killed. Jane looks around, and her eyes finally settle on the boulder.
“Can you climb that thing, Zaj?” She gestures in the direction of the structure with her pistol.
Wrex looks up and nods. “Good idea. You should be able to snipe a few of them from up there.”
Zaj begins to move toward the boulder, strapping the rifle to his back to free his hands for climbing. Luckily, there are enough nooks and crags for the krogan to be able to find a foothold and hoist himself up.
I was iffy about this at first because krogans don't look limber enough to do a lot of climbing, but what do I know? Without official confirmation that they can't climb, I think it's okay to make the assumption that they can.
“Don’t fire at them until we do,” she calls out softly after him. “You don’t want to draw their attention.”
Wrex has already pressed himself against the wall in front of them, and Jane moves in beside him. On her signal, he begins to follow the wall around to the left. Her scanners indicate that there should be an opening about twenty yards further down. Looking back, she sees Zaj about halfway up the boulder, continuing to climb toward the top.
Having reached the gap in the wall, Wrex stops and looks to her for instructions. Beyond the opening, smaller outcroppings and boulders as well as large crates and supply chests provide some cover. Toward the center, a cylindrical structure with a satellite dish on top probably serves as the command post for the base. There are no other structures or vehicles in sight. However, the fog is thick toward the back of the clearing, so it’s possible that there is something hidden that lies just beyond.
She counts the blips on her radar: there must be at least ten troopers at the outpost, although it doesn’t look like they have any armatures or colossi. The closest soldiers are at ten o’clock, while there are two further down at one o’clock. She motions for Wrex to take out the two on the left, while she herself will take care of the ones ahead and to the right. They squeeze through the opening and then split up.
When I played the game with my guyfriends, they just did the storm-in-and-start-shooting approach, but when I play it I always carefully plan out what I'm going to do and give the NPCs directions about who to attack.
The sound of a shotgun blast rings in the air, and she can hear the armored body of a geth trooper hitting the ground to the left of her. She doesn’t hesitate, and the minute one of the robotic warriors enters her sights, she fires her pistol once, twice, her stance perfect and unwavering. Shepard is an expert marksman, and the geth trooper dies before he even has a chance to aim his weapon.
Shepard uses 'Advanced Marksman'!
Wrex must’ve switched to his assault rifle because she can hear him unleashing a barrage of gunfire somewhere behind her. The sensation of a round embedding itself in her kinetic shields brings her attention back to what lies ahead. She’s about to target the second trooper when a round fired from above hits its head and it falls to the floor. Resisting the urge to look up so as not to draw the gunfire away from herself, she smiles. Zaj will make a good soldier someday.
My reading of Mass Effect: Ascension actually helped with the writing of this battle scene, especially the descriptions of how the kinetic shields work.
There are six blips left on her radar. It looks like Wrex is already engaging one to the far left, with another trooper close by. Zaj should have a clean shot at the two toward the middle. This leaves her with two hidden to the right, one at four o’clock and one at five. She crouches down behind a small rock outcropping while she surveys her surroundings. The two geth she is chasing must be hiding in the shadows of the large boulder; she can’t make out their forms, but her scanners confirm it. Opting for a direct approach, she switches to an assault rifle and breaks cover, charging toward the shaded area. With one eye on her radar, she fires into the semi-darkness, and a moment later both blips disappear.
I hate it when enemies hide! As much as I'm a fan of planning out actions and playing it safe, sometimes the charge-in-and-start-shooting approach is the only way to get results in this game.
In the background, she hears the sniper rifle discharge another round, but she can’t tell whether it hit home. Then, without warning, a pulse blast hits her from behind and nearly throws her off balance, and she stumbles forward. Her kinetic shields absorbed the hit, but as a result her sensors indicate that her shielding is down to less than 40%. Whirling around, she has just enough time to recognize her assailant as a geth destroyer before another blast hits her full in the face. The electricity that shoots out when the blast impacts her barriers temporarily blinds her, but she can hear her sensors emit a warning beep to indicate that her shielding is beginning to fail.
“Wrex!” she yells into her radio. “Back-up, please!”
Shepard gives the 'Rally' command!
Spots of light still clouding her vision, she fires her gun without being able to tell whether she’s aiming correctly, but she hopes that her shots get close enough to buy her some time. It seems to work, because her shields are down but she’s not feeling the painful impact of pulse blasts.
Her vision clears in time for her to witness the destroyer being thrown high into the air and then crashing back down to the ground. Taking full advantage of the situation, she switches back to her pistol and fires at the incapacitated destroyer. She doesn’t stop until her clip is empty and she has to pause to reload.
Yay teamwork! I mean, this story isn't just supposed to be about how great Shepard is. She can't do it without her team.
“All clear,” Wrex grunts, and she realizes that the destroyer is down for good.
Her radar is silent, confirming Wrex’s statement. Shepard straightens and puts her weapons away. The krogan is looking at her for further instructions, so she motions in the direction of the command post in the middle of the clearing.
Time to look for loot!
The base must’ve been constructed very recently, because the only message sent via the transmissions tower had been a brief affirmation that the outpost had been successfully set up. No other transmissions had been received. Aside from a couple of weapons mods and a new assault rifle, there isn’t any noteworthy loot. The mission wasn’t quite as lucrative as Wrex had made it seem.
But looking at Wrex as Zaj half-climbs, half-slides down the boulder and scampers over to rejoin them, she muses that this trip was hardly a waste. Her taciturn companion finally opened up a bit more, and she’s grateful that she had the opportunity to learn more about his past, even if it is rather painful.
OKAY, I ADMIT THAT WAS CHEESY, BUT I'M A SAP, OKAY. Also, just reminding the reader that although Shepard is a badass, she does have a heart.
“Well, we’d better head back.”
***
They’d reached Wrex’s ship in the nick of time to keep the distress call from being sent to the Normandy. Jane had hurried inside to cancel the transmission while Wrex remained outside with Zaj. When she emerges again, the two krogan haven’t moved, and the air is filled with an uncomfortable silence.
“Will you be all right?” she asks Zaj, turning to give Wrex a stern Look to suggest that maybe he should say something.
Ahaha the Look makes me feel a little bit like they're a married couple.
“There’s a ship coming to pick us up next week,” Zaj explains, oblivious to the exchange between the two adults. “With the geth gone, we’ll be all right until then.”
“Okay.” She straightens. “Well, it was good to meet you, Zaj. Best of luck to you.”
The boy nods. He’s looking at Wrex, not at her.
After all, this fic isn't really about you, Shepard.
“Hey,” he says, taking a step closer to the bigger krogan. “Who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?”
“Huh?” Wrex narrows his eyes and looks at the boy as though he’d forgotten he was even there.
Jane chuckles. “He would. But it would be a close contest.”
...which I feel is a reasonable response as long as Shepard isn't a full Renegade.
But Wrex is already ascending the ramp into the ship. She can see the raw disappointment in the boy’s eyes, and his tangible pain squeezes down on her heart. Still, she knows there’s nothing she can do.
All of a sudden, Zaj lets out a frustrated cry and dashes over to the ship’s outer door. Punching the hard shell on Wrex’s back, he yells, “You better come back!”
The bigger krogan pauses for just a moment, then disappears inside.
No emotional displays from this krogan. But then, I kind of intended for his lack of emotional displays to be an emotional display, in a way.
Forming her lips into an apologetic half-smile, Jane follows her companion. She waves at Zaj until the airlock closes behind her with a hiss, sealing the door shut to prevent the depressurizing of the interior cabin. She removes her helmet, takes off her gear, and makes her way to the cockpit.
“You could’ve said something to him, you know.”
Wrex is busy programming the console and doesn’t visibly react. Even after spending a whole day with him, she finds it impossible to read his emotions.
“There was nothing to say,” he says finally, his voice almost drowned out by the roar of the engines as the ship rumbles and takes off into the air.
***
Back aboard the Normandy, the rest of the crew had returned and Navigator Pressly had begun to grow worried. He lets out an audible sigh of relief when Shepard emerges through the outer door into the ship, with Wrex at her flank.
So I was a little unsure of how to wrap this up, but I figure it should end on the Normandy because that's also where it started.
“Logged: The commanding officer is aboard. XO Pressly stands relieved.”
She smiles. It feels good to be back. Though their training expedition wasn’t as action-packed as she’d anticipated, the time away from the Citadel and her crew had been just what she’d needed. She feels rejuvenated and ready to tackle the mission on Virmire.
Pressly salutes her. “Commander. Shall I prepare for departure?”
“Please,” she addresses him, then turns to Kaidan, who is standing nearby and has been trying to catch her attention.
I kind of picture him pacing nervously around the bridge until she returns. Such a cute puppy.
“Commander. I’m glad you’re back. We were worried,” he says, though it’s obvious that he’s really trying to ask her, ‘Where have you been?’
Jane knows she owes her crew no explanation but does feel a twinge of guilt about causing her crew to worry. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I did not mean to make you worry. We were just off on a family visit.”
Har har har. Okay, Wrex isn't going to appreciate that.
Wrex scoffs and tramps in the direction of the stairs. He hasn’t said a word since they left the surface of Almacrux. While that in itself is not too unusual, she’s still concerned that the episode caused him undue emotional distress, and she makes a mental note to check on him later-because it’s both her responsibility as Commander and her duty as a friend.
Kaidan raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. She pats him on the arm and excuses herself to check on the rest of the crew. After making a bit of small talk with Joker and letting the rest of the personnel on the bridge know that they’re preparing to take off, she heads down to the crew deck. When she approaches the medical bay, Doctor Chakwas won’t let her off without a brief check-up of her health. The medical officer comments that she looks unusually tired, although all her vital signs are stable. Jane uses that as an opportunity to duck out of the room before any further action is taken.
Down in the engineering room, Engineer Adams reports that the minor repairs he performed on the Normandy’s drive core were successful, and that she should now once again function at 100%. He adds that Tali was enormously helpful with the modifications, so Shepard compliments the quarian on her knowledge about and passion for the technical aspects of the ship. Similarly, she thanks Garrus for overseeing some needed repairs to the Mako.
Somebody should write some Adams/Tali fluff. SRSLY. They are so cute.
Ashley is full of stories about the video conference she was able to hold with her sisters from aboard the Citadel. Jane is glad she had this opportunity because she knows how much her family means to her. She senses that the battles will get much tougher from here on out, and helping the crew to remember what, or who, they’re fighting for may help to strengthen their resolve.
DUN DUN DUN FOREBODING? (seeing as how they're heading to Virmire)
At last, she circles over to the port side of the cargo hold, where Wrex has taken up his usual spot. He appears to be deep in thought, and she hesitates, wondering whether she should approach him, but to her surprise he turns and greets her. “Shepard.”
“Wrex.” She carefully considers how to word her next question, since Wrex doesn’t normally respond well when she asks, ‘How are you doing?’ “Ready to go?”
Still not one for small talk, no he isn't.
He grunts, shifts his head from side to side, then finally remarks, “You never asked me what my ship is called.”
“What?” She’s taken aback. Not only does Wrex not usually volunteer personal information, but she doesn’t think she’s ever heard him solicit someone to ask him what could be a very personal question. “All right, what’s she called?”
Wrex focuses on Shepard’s face, then looks down at the floor. “She’s called the Kanan.”
...which is supposed to be Wrex's way of saying 'I loved her', because I could never really picture him using the word 'love'.
Her chest feels heavy with the pain implied by Wrex’s words. She searches for a way to offer him some comfort, but her mind goes blank. Still, even though neither of them speaks, a moment of deep understanding passes between them. She hopes he notices her sympathetic gaze and realizes that her heart is with him.
When the ship’s engines hum to life, she straightens and clears her throat. “So long, Wrex.”
“Shepard.”
...which is how they always end their conversations.
She hurries back up to the bridge, where Pressly is standing at attention, awaiting her final command. Many of the crew members are looking at her expectantly. Sometimes it scares her, the confidence all of these men and women have in her to lead their missions to a successful completion and bring them all safely home. Today is not one of those days.
Again, a little throwback to "Reveille", wherein Shepard is a little insecure about leading the Normandy crew.
“The salarian camp on Virmire needs our help,” she announces as she takes her place in front of the galaxy map. “Let’s do this!”
She comes to fairly quickly, the impact having failed to knock her out completely although the blow did knock the wind out of her and caused her a few long moments of disorientation. However, she’s conscious enough of what’s happening around her to know that Wrex immediately rushed to her side and is aiming his shotgun at her assailant. Her attacker is standing at point-blank range, so she’s surprised he hasn’t taken the shot yet. When she’s able to focus her vision again, she rolls over to get a better look at their opponent.
As she’d guessed, it’s a krogan, though much smaller than any she has ever encountered. She estimates he would come up to her chin. Like all krogan, his body is heavy-set and his shoulders are broad, but it seems as though there’s somehow less bulk, proportionally, underneath his bio-suit when compared to Wrex. The two bear little resemblance. Whereas Wrex’s body is tan with bright red markings, the assailant’s skin has a bluish tint, and his markings are a rich verdant green. He has no visible scars and his face is wider, less pointed. It’s not until she notices the set of his eyes, which are wide open rather than narrow and suspicious, that she realizes she isn’t just looking at a smaller man, she’s being confronted by an actual krogan child.
This was probably one of the most difficult parts of the fic. We don't know anything about krogan children, so I made my best guess here, but I really had no idea.
“Is that-?” Jane looks to Wrex for confirmation.
Wrex nods. “A boy.”
We also don't know anything about the differences between krogan men and women, but I assume there would be enough physical differences that Wrex can tell it's a boy.
She looks at the boy and then returns her gaze to Wrex. “Do you know him?”
“No.”
She turns back to the boy. “Do you know who we are?”
The boy quickly shakes his head and doesn’t say anything. She gets the sense that he’s frightened, although she wonders if that’s just her trying to project human qualities on him. She knows she should assume that she has no understanding of what’s going through the boy’s mind.
Rule #1 about dealing with aliens: Don't make assumptions. Assumptions will get you killed.
Setting her pistol down on the floor and raising her hands in the air, she slowly straightens to a standing position. “I’m Commander Jane Shepard of the SSV Normandy. This is a member of my crew, Urdnot Wrex. We mean you no harm.”
At the mention of Wrex’s name, the boy gasps and stumbles backward, the pistol he had been holding falling out of his hand and clattering to the floor. Wrex doesn’t respond to his startled reaction, but he does lower his shotgun.
“So you do know who Wrex is.”
“Only by name,” the boy replies, then pauses for a moment before he continues. “My name is Zaj. Son of… Kanan.”
I am purposely avoiding last/clan names because I feel like I do not know enough of the krogan clan/tribe culture to understand exactly how the clan names work.
Wrex stiffens at the sound of that name, and Jane looks up in surprise at his visible reaction. “Wrex?”
The bigger krogan begins to walk away. She calls out his name but he doesn’t stop. When he’s reached the center of the cavern, however, he comes to a halt, and, to her astonishment, he sits down on the ground. Assuming it’s meant in part as an invitation, she and Zaj hurry over and join him.
For the longest time, Wrex doesn’t speak; he just stares off into the distance. At last, he asks, “What has your mother told you about me, boy?”
“Only that she used to be your chief lay,” Zaj says, his voice betraying no hint of emotion. “That you wanted her to lead clan Urdnot with you.”
Okay, I know the 'chief lay' bit is RETARDED, and every time I reread this I am embarrassed, but although I meant to come back and change it I could never think of anything better.
“That’s right.” Wrex turns to Shepard. “We krogan have no formalized institution of marriage, not the way you humans do. Especially now that our fertility is low and the most important thing is just to breed. But clan leaders often choose a partner to lie with exclusively. Someone to support you and lead the clan in your absence.
“Kanan and I grew up together. I decided early on that I would make her my partner once I became leader of the whole clan. But one day while I was still a tribal lord, I went on a mission to help solve a territorial dispute in the borderlands. When I came back two months later, Kanan was pregnant.”
Strangely enough, I have my ex to thank for this idea. He suggested that I write something about how in the krogan culture it's okay to go around sleeping with anyone. I told him I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that because I personally believe in monogamy (which admittedly was a stab at him and the fact that he'd cheated on me). He then said, "Well, maybe you could write about how Wrex also believes in monogamy and feels oppressed by the krogan system of polyamory." I didn't go with that idea exactly, but it did help to inspire this fic.
He shrugs. “It made sense for her to lie with others while I was gone. And Kanan became one of the very few lucky enough to carry a child to term.”
A deep silence descends over the cavern. Jane doesn’t know what to say. Her heart goes out to Wrex. She knows better than to use a word like ‘love’-Wrex would probably make fun of her and call her an idealistic human-but she does perceive a deep sense of affection in Wrex for this mysterious female krogan, Kanan. She also understands that he feels betrayed even though he’s tried to rationalize and excuse her actions.
I mean, I really feel like that describes Wrex in a nutshell. He tries to be really stoic and matter-of-fact, but he has a deep sense of loyalty that's been betrayed, and he's hurt, even though he tries to gloss over it and say it doesn't matter.
“Why didn’t you stay?” Zaj asks suddenly. “Why did you leave the clan?”
“It had nothing to do with you or your mother, kid,” Wrex grumbles. “Besides, I’m not your father. Why do you care?”
And I do want to point out that Zaj really wasn't intended to be Wrex's long-lost son. That's too cliché and not the story I'm going for here.
The boy looks down and says, “Mother says you would’ve united the clan. That you would’ve stayed. With her. With us.”
When Wrex doesn’t respond, Jane asks, “What happened to your father?”
“Skell stuck around for a year. Then he left for war. He never came back. Mother went on to lie with other men, but… she never had another child, and none of them stuck around.”
The silence is deafening, the air thick and loaded with hurt and regret. Zaj looks tense, while Wrex is slouching, his expression unreadable. Jane can practically taste their pain, and she doesn’t know what to say, what comfort she can give them.
“I’m sorry,” she finally croaks, her voice hoarse.
At this point, Shepard is more like the spectator, rather than the center of the action, which is intentional because even though it's her POV, I really wanted this story to be more about Wrex.
“What do you know, human?” Zaj hisses, his voice all of a sudden dripping with contempt.
“More than you think,” she replies. “I was born on Earth, in the slums. I never knew my parents. Like so many, they got caught up in the space age and left their children behind. Probably went to one of the colonies. I don’t know.
“If you ask me, the krogan are lucky, in a way. Not to make light of the genophage, but at least you know the value of a child. Humans are fertile, but we’ve forgotten what it really means to have children. That they’re precious commodities to be treasured. Like you.”
This is a little throwback to my previous ME fic, "Reveille". I know I wanted to keep Shepard as neutral and non-background-specific as possible, but I couldn't help but want to keep her as part of my own headcanon just a little.
Zaj looks taken aback. “Do you have children, Shepard?”
Now it’s Jane’s turn to be surprised. It’s a question she wasn’t anticipating. “No, I don’t.”
Giving it a little more thought, she continues, “I guess I never really thought about it. When you’re from the slums, you understand that having kids is a luxury that you probably can’t afford. So I always assumed I would never be a mother. But then I joined the Alliance, and I guess… Well, now I’m too busy to worry about starting a family.”
I really wanted somebody to say "You're going to make a good mother someday," or something, but it seemed too OOC for Wrex and Zaj.
“Too busy saving the galaxy and the Council’s ungrateful asses,” Wrex grunts.
She can’t help but laugh, and even Wrex lets out a few chortles. Zaj obviously doesn’t get the joke, but he catches on to the easing tension and chuckles out loud as well.
“You’re all right, Shepard. For a human,” he adds. “Sorry about knocking you out earlier. I didn’t want to take any chances. I thought you might be with them.”
Jane abruptly stops laughing. “With whom? The geth? Have you seen geth?”
I really intended for this scene with Zaj to take longer, because that was supposed to be the main part of the story, but by this point I was also like, man, this is getting really long, I need to get things moving.
“Those tall black robotic creatures, right?” Zaj asks. “Yeah, they set up a base north of here. That’s why the rest of us came down into the caves to hide.”
“There are others?” Wrex stands up and prepares his gear to leave.
“Yeah. A few other youths. We came here to gain experience surviving away from the clan. We have weapons, but we’re not well-armed enough to take on those geth.”
The others are hiding in other caves, by the way. I probably should've explained that better.
Jane is grateful that Zaj has the insight to know when not to go into a fight. He’ll make a good leader someday. “Thanks. We can take it from here.”
“Wait!” he begs as Jane and Wrex make their way to the exit. “Take me with you!”
“Absolutely not.” She refuses to knowingly endanger one of the few krogan offspring.
But Wrex tosses the boy a sniper rifle and Zaj hurries to catch up with them, grinning.
The idea here is that Wrex realizes this is supposed to be an important part of his boy-transformation-into-manhood thing, or whatever. But he also doesn't want to risk a krogan boy's life by putting him in the direct line of fire. Also, Wrex doesn't use sniper rifles, but he always carries one, so it's his most expendable weapon.
***
“The base is just up ahead,” Zaj whispers.
Once outside, Zaj had led the way while the other two covered him from behind. He had taken them between the various rock outcroppings in a northerly direction. The terrain had grown more treacherous as they continued on, but Zaj had made it clear that he’s familiar with the area and knows when to warn them to watch their footing. At last, the spiky protrusions had given way to an area with a natural rock wall straight ahead and a massive boulder to the right. Shepard’s radar confirms that there are enemies on the other side of the wall.
The geth had done well to choose this location; the natural fortifications will make it almost impossible to sneak into the base undetected. As he lacks heavy armor and combat experience in the field, if Zaj follows them in, he will surely be killed. Jane looks around, and her eyes finally settle on the boulder.
“Can you climb that thing, Zaj?” She gestures in the direction of the structure with her pistol.
Wrex looks up and nods. “Good idea. You should be able to snipe a few of them from up there.”
Zaj begins to move toward the boulder, strapping the rifle to his back to free his hands for climbing. Luckily, there are enough nooks and crags for the krogan to be able to find a foothold and hoist himself up.
I was iffy about this at first because krogans don't look limber enough to do a lot of climbing, but what do I know? Without official confirmation that they can't climb, I think it's okay to make the assumption that they can.
“Don’t fire at them until we do,” she calls out softly after him. “You don’t want to draw their attention.”
Wrex has already pressed himself against the wall in front of them, and Jane moves in beside him. On her signal, he begins to follow the wall around to the left. Her scanners indicate that there should be an opening about twenty yards further down. Looking back, she sees Zaj about halfway up the boulder, continuing to climb toward the top.
Having reached the gap in the wall, Wrex stops and looks to her for instructions. Beyond the opening, smaller outcroppings and boulders as well as large crates and supply chests provide some cover. Toward the center, a cylindrical structure with a satellite dish on top probably serves as the command post for the base. There are no other structures or vehicles in sight. However, the fog is thick toward the back of the clearing, so it’s possible that there is something hidden that lies just beyond.
She counts the blips on her radar: there must be at least ten troopers at the outpost, although it doesn’t look like they have any armatures or colossi. The closest soldiers are at ten o’clock, while there are two further down at one o’clock. She motions for Wrex to take out the two on the left, while she herself will take care of the ones ahead and to the right. They squeeze through the opening and then split up.
When I played the game with my guyfriends, they just did the storm-in-and-start-shooting approach, but when I play it I always carefully plan out what I'm going to do and give the NPCs directions about who to attack.
The sound of a shotgun blast rings in the air, and she can hear the armored body of a geth trooper hitting the ground to the left of her. She doesn’t hesitate, and the minute one of the robotic warriors enters her sights, she fires her pistol once, twice, her stance perfect and unwavering. Shepard is an expert marksman, and the geth trooper dies before he even has a chance to aim his weapon.
Shepard uses 'Advanced Marksman'!
Wrex must’ve switched to his assault rifle because she can hear him unleashing a barrage of gunfire somewhere behind her. The sensation of a round embedding itself in her kinetic shields brings her attention back to what lies ahead. She’s about to target the second trooper when a round fired from above hits its head and it falls to the floor. Resisting the urge to look up so as not to draw the gunfire away from herself, she smiles. Zaj will make a good soldier someday.
My reading of Mass Effect: Ascension actually helped with the writing of this battle scene, especially the descriptions of how the kinetic shields work.
There are six blips left on her radar. It looks like Wrex is already engaging one to the far left, with another trooper close by. Zaj should have a clean shot at the two toward the middle. This leaves her with two hidden to the right, one at four o’clock and one at five. She crouches down behind a small rock outcropping while she surveys her surroundings. The two geth she is chasing must be hiding in the shadows of the large boulder; she can’t make out their forms, but her scanners confirm it. Opting for a direct approach, she switches to an assault rifle and breaks cover, charging toward the shaded area. With one eye on her radar, she fires into the semi-darkness, and a moment later both blips disappear.
I hate it when enemies hide! As much as I'm a fan of planning out actions and playing it safe, sometimes the charge-in-and-start-shooting approach is the only way to get results in this game.
In the background, she hears the sniper rifle discharge another round, but she can’t tell whether it hit home. Then, without warning, a pulse blast hits her from behind and nearly throws her off balance, and she stumbles forward. Her kinetic shields absorbed the hit, but as a result her sensors indicate that her shielding is down to less than 40%. Whirling around, she has just enough time to recognize her assailant as a geth destroyer before another blast hits her full in the face. The electricity that shoots out when the blast impacts her barriers temporarily blinds her, but she can hear her sensors emit a warning beep to indicate that her shielding is beginning to fail.
“Wrex!” she yells into her radio. “Back-up, please!”
Shepard gives the 'Rally' command!
Spots of light still clouding her vision, she fires her gun without being able to tell whether she’s aiming correctly, but she hopes that her shots get close enough to buy her some time. It seems to work, because her shields are down but she’s not feeling the painful impact of pulse blasts.
Her vision clears in time for her to witness the destroyer being thrown high into the air and then crashing back down to the ground. Taking full advantage of the situation, she switches back to her pistol and fires at the incapacitated destroyer. She doesn’t stop until her clip is empty and she has to pause to reload.
Yay teamwork! I mean, this story isn't just supposed to be about how great Shepard is. She can't do it without her team.
“All clear,” Wrex grunts, and she realizes that the destroyer is down for good.
Her radar is silent, confirming Wrex’s statement. Shepard straightens and puts her weapons away. The krogan is looking at her for further instructions, so she motions in the direction of the command post in the middle of the clearing.
Time to look for loot!
The base must’ve been constructed very recently, because the only message sent via the transmissions tower had been a brief affirmation that the outpost had been successfully set up. No other transmissions had been received. Aside from a couple of weapons mods and a new assault rifle, there isn’t any noteworthy loot. The mission wasn’t quite as lucrative as Wrex had made it seem.
But looking at Wrex as Zaj half-climbs, half-slides down the boulder and scampers over to rejoin them, she muses that this trip was hardly a waste. Her taciturn companion finally opened up a bit more, and she’s grateful that she had the opportunity to learn more about his past, even if it is rather painful.
OKAY, I ADMIT THAT WAS CHEESY, BUT I'M A SAP, OKAY. Also, just reminding the reader that although Shepard is a badass, she does have a heart.
“Well, we’d better head back.”
***
They’d reached Wrex’s ship in the nick of time to keep the distress call from being sent to the Normandy. Jane had hurried inside to cancel the transmission while Wrex remained outside with Zaj. When she emerges again, the two krogan haven’t moved, and the air is filled with an uncomfortable silence.
“Will you be all right?” she asks Zaj, turning to give Wrex a stern Look to suggest that maybe he should say something.
Ahaha the Look makes me feel a little bit like they're a married couple.
“There’s a ship coming to pick us up next week,” Zaj explains, oblivious to the exchange between the two adults. “With the geth gone, we’ll be all right until then.”
“Okay.” She straightens. “Well, it was good to meet you, Zaj. Best of luck to you.”
The boy nods. He’s looking at Wrex, not at her.
After all, this fic isn't really about you, Shepard.
“Hey,” he says, taking a step closer to the bigger krogan. “Who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?”
“Huh?” Wrex narrows his eyes and looks at the boy as though he’d forgotten he was even there.
Jane chuckles. “He would. But it would be a close contest.”
...which I feel is a reasonable response as long as Shepard isn't a full Renegade.
But Wrex is already ascending the ramp into the ship. She can see the raw disappointment in the boy’s eyes, and his tangible pain squeezes down on her heart. Still, she knows there’s nothing she can do.
All of a sudden, Zaj lets out a frustrated cry and dashes over to the ship’s outer door. Punching the hard shell on Wrex’s back, he yells, “You better come back!”
The bigger krogan pauses for just a moment, then disappears inside.
No emotional displays from this krogan. But then, I kind of intended for his lack of emotional displays to be an emotional display, in a way.
Forming her lips into an apologetic half-smile, Jane follows her companion. She waves at Zaj until the airlock closes behind her with a hiss, sealing the door shut to prevent the depressurizing of the interior cabin. She removes her helmet, takes off her gear, and makes her way to the cockpit.
“You could’ve said something to him, you know.”
Wrex is busy programming the console and doesn’t visibly react. Even after spending a whole day with him, she finds it impossible to read his emotions.
“There was nothing to say,” he says finally, his voice almost drowned out by the roar of the engines as the ship rumbles and takes off into the air.
***
Back aboard the Normandy, the rest of the crew had returned and Navigator Pressly had begun to grow worried. He lets out an audible sigh of relief when Shepard emerges through the outer door into the ship, with Wrex at her flank.
So I was a little unsure of how to wrap this up, but I figure it should end on the Normandy because that's also where it started.
“Logged: The commanding officer is aboard. XO Pressly stands relieved.”
She smiles. It feels good to be back. Though their training expedition wasn’t as action-packed as she’d anticipated, the time away from the Citadel and her crew had been just what she’d needed. She feels rejuvenated and ready to tackle the mission on Virmire.
Pressly salutes her. “Commander. Shall I prepare for departure?”
“Please,” she addresses him, then turns to Kaidan, who is standing nearby and has been trying to catch her attention.
I kind of picture him pacing nervously around the bridge until she returns. Such a cute puppy.
“Commander. I’m glad you’re back. We were worried,” he says, though it’s obvious that he’s really trying to ask her, ‘Where have you been?’
Jane knows she owes her crew no explanation but does feel a twinge of guilt about causing her crew to worry. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I did not mean to make you worry. We were just off on a family visit.”
Har har har. Okay, Wrex isn't going to appreciate that.
Wrex scoffs and tramps in the direction of the stairs. He hasn’t said a word since they left the surface of Almacrux. While that in itself is not too unusual, she’s still concerned that the episode caused him undue emotional distress, and she makes a mental note to check on him later-because it’s both her responsibility as Commander and her duty as a friend.
Kaidan raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. She pats him on the arm and excuses herself to check on the rest of the crew. After making a bit of small talk with Joker and letting the rest of the personnel on the bridge know that they’re preparing to take off, she heads down to the crew deck. When she approaches the medical bay, Doctor Chakwas won’t let her off without a brief check-up of her health. The medical officer comments that she looks unusually tired, although all her vital signs are stable. Jane uses that as an opportunity to duck out of the room before any further action is taken.
Down in the engineering room, Engineer Adams reports that the minor repairs he performed on the Normandy’s drive core were successful, and that she should now once again function at 100%. He adds that Tali was enormously helpful with the modifications, so Shepard compliments the quarian on her knowledge about and passion for the technical aspects of the ship. Similarly, she thanks Garrus for overseeing some needed repairs to the Mako.
Somebody should write some Adams/Tali fluff. SRSLY. They are so cute.
Ashley is full of stories about the video conference she was able to hold with her sisters from aboard the Citadel. Jane is glad she had this opportunity because she knows how much her family means to her. She senses that the battles will get much tougher from here on out, and helping the crew to remember what, or who, they’re fighting for may help to strengthen their resolve.
DUN DUN DUN FOREBODING? (seeing as how they're heading to Virmire)
At last, she circles over to the port side of the cargo hold, where Wrex has taken up his usual spot. He appears to be deep in thought, and she hesitates, wondering whether she should approach him, but to her surprise he turns and greets her. “Shepard.”
“Wrex.” She carefully considers how to word her next question, since Wrex doesn’t normally respond well when she asks, ‘How are you doing?’ “Ready to go?”
Still not one for small talk, no he isn't.
He grunts, shifts his head from side to side, then finally remarks, “You never asked me what my ship is called.”
“What?” She’s taken aback. Not only does Wrex not usually volunteer personal information, but she doesn’t think she’s ever heard him solicit someone to ask him what could be a very personal question. “All right, what’s she called?”
Wrex focuses on Shepard’s face, then looks down at the floor. “She’s called the Kanan.”
...which is supposed to be Wrex's way of saying 'I loved her', because I could never really picture him using the word 'love'.
Her chest feels heavy with the pain implied by Wrex’s words. She searches for a way to offer him some comfort, but her mind goes blank. Still, even though neither of them speaks, a moment of deep understanding passes between them. She hopes he notices her sympathetic gaze and realizes that her heart is with him.
When the ship’s engines hum to life, she straightens and clears her throat. “So long, Wrex.”
“Shepard.”
...which is how they always end their conversations.
She hurries back up to the bridge, where Pressly is standing at attention, awaiting her final command. Many of the crew members are looking at her expectantly. Sometimes it scares her, the confidence all of these men and women have in her to lead their missions to a successful completion and bring them all safely home. Today is not one of those days.
Again, a little throwback to "Reveille", wherein Shepard is a little insecure about leading the Normandy crew.
“The salarian camp on Virmire needs our help,” she announces as she takes her place in front of the galaxy map. “Let’s do this!”