That sound you hear is the shattering glass of a beautiful daydream.
... but it was a beautiful daydream, while it lasted.
Last night, with justifiable trepidation, I watched a YT video that had been posted at a Zac fansite. My trepidation was due to the warnings that the video was high on extreme profanity. And I had to know.
As it turns out, my boy is just as vulgar in certain company as all the rest of them.
(I'm posting this here for... a reminder, to me. Usually I would not post something so crass in my LJ).
*le wistful sigh* Where is the man who is better than this?
Don't get me wrong. I have no beef against video games or competition, or an occasional beer. But the whole... decadent, loud, vulgar, 'let's get sloshed and be trashy' party vibe turns me off big time. The man I hope to marry someday would NOT be comfortable in the scene above. And that would be his own standard, not one he held because his wife/girlfriend was twisting his arm with nag behind the scenes.
Zac is still my favorite, and I think he's a decent guy, and someday I'd still like to meet him and smile and say "I think you're great!", but I was really enjoying my illusions that he was... well, I can't explain it. Even more, I guess. Just the rosy daydreams of a girl with unreasonably high standards taking the edge off of loneliness.
There is a dark comic aspect to the fact that this happened the night before Valentine's Day. Hah!
Tonight I am taking some resumes and dvds to my dad. And probably will have to talk to him too (on Friday I just dropped some stuff off, knocked on the door, and scrambled off to my car as quickly as possible). Prayers would be appreciated.
After that, I might go out for a drink with mom. I think it's called for.
Last night, with justifiable trepidation, I watched a YT video that had been posted at a Zac fansite. My trepidation was due to the warnings that the video was high on extreme profanity. And I had to know.
As it turns out, my boy is just as vulgar in certain company as all the rest of them.
(I'm posting this here for... a reminder, to me. Usually I would not post something so crass in my LJ).
Click to view*le wistful sigh* Where is the man who is better than this?
Don't get me wrong. I have no beef against video games or competition, or an occasional beer. But the whole... decadent, loud, vulgar, 'let's get sloshed and be trashy' party vibe turns me off big time. The man I hope to marry someday would NOT be comfortable in the scene above. And that would be his own standard, not one he held because his wife/girlfriend was twisting his arm with nag behind the scenes.
Zac is still my favorite, and I think he's a decent guy, and someday I'd still like to meet him and smile and say "I think you're great!", but I was really enjoying my illusions that he was... well, I can't explain it. Even more, I guess. Just the rosy daydreams of a girl with unreasonably high standards taking the edge off of loneliness.
There is a dark comic aspect to the fact that this happened the night before Valentine's Day. Hah!
Tonight I am taking some resumes and dvds to my dad. And probably will have to talk to him too (on Friday I just dropped some stuff off, knocked on the door, and scrambled off to my car as quickly as possible). Prayers would be appreciated.
After that, I might go out for a drink with mom. I think it's called for.