Sace: 1 Life: 0
I can easily say that I had an eventful summer. I didn't get to see april, and I am not going to AWA. It feels so weird not being able to go there. (this would have been my fourth year) I know for sure that I'll get to see them again; if not together, then each on separate occasions. True indeed.
Before I get into the crux of my post here, Im going to throw up random bits of info then an lj cut for you people who are scared to see heaploads of text.
-I plan not to get a hair cut for at least 5 years.
-I now have a better understanding of fish
-I now want to experience nature, preferably at night under a starry sky away from the city. Just sharing that with someone else. Its something I really want to do.
-My parents were supposed to live in California. When they left the carribean, New York was supposed to be a pit stop for them, eventually moving to Cali. They even had jobs and shit lined up. They chose to stay in New York mainly beacause of the fear of losing everything in a quake. I love NY, but fuck, I think I would have liked Cali better. I wish i was around to inlfuence them
-I've been toying around with the idea of working in a restauraunt as a waiter..I doubt that I'd do it though. Probably for pride reasons and the fact that you have to be an even huger suck up than what is required at my current job.
-The VMA's suckedthis year, but I loved the anatomical cutscenes for each nomination. One I particularly liked was for the best dance video. Youtube it to see what I liked most about that one.
-Im heading back to school in january. I can't fucking wait..My mind is fucking rotting away here.
So many Things I'd like to touch upon here. First I'd like to expand on why nothing is ever enough. As kids or young adults, we set standards, goals, and tasks that we'd hope to complete at a certain time. Some would even make insane statements such as "after I do (insert goal here) I'd die a happy man/woman" etc etc.. Once completed, we set new standards for ourselves and even higher goals to attain; Kind of like an endless cycle. The question we should ask ourselves is, when is it time to draw that line? If that line cannot be drawn, how do we quench that insatiable thirst for more?
There Are millions of examples in which we always crave more. For instance, You could give a person everything except your heart on a platter (literally) and siad person would want more. Its simply a part of human nature.
What makes this particularly difficult is attaining the balance between getting and reaching for what you deserve and settling for less. If i am currently making 50,000 yearly, can support myself and my family, should I scratch and claw to make that 70,000 a year? If it happens then sure. I'd be stark crazy not to accept; but the question remains, should I fight for it or should I (or anyone else) be happy/satisfied with what i have?
With that said, We can examine a more contorversial topic. Love. In this life, everyone is capable of loving one another(whether friendship or relationship) thusly it is fair to state that everyone deserves love, and will find it one way or another, whether looking or not. Being that it is something that we all deserve, and will find, is it fair to say that if you arent actively searching for it, you're selling yourself short? Settling for less? (think about that for a second) Just as i have mentioned before with regards to salary, my 70,000 pay raise would be love in this situation and 50,000 would be my current life up to date. Should I scratch and claw for it? (love) Should I be happy with what i have? I am fine, not depressed, not bothered period. As far as love goes, I am happy with what I have. If it comes, it comes, but fuck scratching and clawing for it. Naturally as previously stated, we always crave more.. One must ask themselves though, how to satisfy that craving. My answer? Simply happiness. Not just being happy, but attaining the the perfect balance. A balance between satisfaction and settling for less so that you arent shortchanging yourself.
Some people don't learn until later (some end up spending their entire lives searching for happiness) that it comes from love of oneself and through helping others. Once achieved, you can move past anything. Nothing is too traumatic that you cannot shake eventually. Reach this state in life and you're on the right path to making life your bitch. Well, at least 50% Depending on life experience. Happiness isn't found in possesions, money, Sexual relationships, or hurting others. Eventually you'll be able to calm that hunger for more, (not stop it dead in its tracks, that would be physically impossible but just to tone it down) Not to mention that you'd finally see the bigger picture in life.
This is the curent state of my life mentally. Although I may come off cold to others it is only beacause I am reliant upon myself and only myself. Aka Self sufficient.
Due to being human nothing is perfect. Including my resolve. Which is why I mentioned it is impossible to stop it dead in its tracks. My weakness seems to be one person. Only she can break my resolve. Until I learn how to resist that as well eventually.
Saaaace out..
Before I get into the crux of my post here, Im going to throw up random bits of info then an lj cut for you people who are scared to see heaploads of text.
-I plan not to get a hair cut for at least 5 years.
-I now have a better understanding of fish
-I now want to experience nature, preferably at night under a starry sky away from the city. Just sharing that with someone else. Its something I really want to do.
-My parents were supposed to live in California. When they left the carribean, New York was supposed to be a pit stop for them, eventually moving to Cali. They even had jobs and shit lined up. They chose to stay in New York mainly beacause of the fear of losing everything in a quake. I love NY, but fuck, I think I would have liked Cali better. I wish i was around to inlfuence them
-I've been toying around with the idea of working in a restauraunt as a waiter..I doubt that I'd do it though. Probably for pride reasons and the fact that you have to be an even huger suck up than what is required at my current job.
-The VMA's suckedthis year, but I loved the anatomical cutscenes for each nomination. One I particularly liked was for the best dance video. Youtube it to see what I liked most about that one.
-Im heading back to school in january. I can't fucking wait..My mind is fucking rotting away here.
So many Things I'd like to touch upon here. First I'd like to expand on why nothing is ever enough. As kids or young adults, we set standards, goals, and tasks that we'd hope to complete at a certain time. Some would even make insane statements such as "after I do (insert goal here) I'd die a happy man/woman" etc etc.. Once completed, we set new standards for ourselves and even higher goals to attain; Kind of like an endless cycle. The question we should ask ourselves is, when is it time to draw that line? If that line cannot be drawn, how do we quench that insatiable thirst for more?
There Are millions of examples in which we always crave more. For instance, You could give a person everything except your heart on a platter (literally) and siad person would want more. Its simply a part of human nature.
What makes this particularly difficult is attaining the balance between getting and reaching for what you deserve and settling for less. If i am currently making 50,000 yearly, can support myself and my family, should I scratch and claw to make that 70,000 a year? If it happens then sure. I'd be stark crazy not to accept; but the question remains, should I fight for it or should I (or anyone else) be happy/satisfied with what i have?
With that said, We can examine a more contorversial topic. Love. In this life, everyone is capable of loving one another(whether friendship or relationship) thusly it is fair to state that everyone deserves love, and will find it one way or another, whether looking or not. Being that it is something that we all deserve, and will find, is it fair to say that if you arent actively searching for it, you're selling yourself short? Settling for less? (think about that for a second) Just as i have mentioned before with regards to salary, my 70,000 pay raise would be love in this situation and 50,000 would be my current life up to date. Should I scratch and claw for it? (love) Should I be happy with what i have? I am fine, not depressed, not bothered period. As far as love goes, I am happy with what I have. If it comes, it comes, but fuck scratching and clawing for it. Naturally as previously stated, we always crave more.. One must ask themselves though, how to satisfy that craving. My answer? Simply happiness. Not just being happy, but attaining the the perfect balance. A balance between satisfaction and settling for less so that you arent shortchanging yourself.
Some people don't learn until later (some end up spending their entire lives searching for happiness) that it comes from love of oneself and through helping others. Once achieved, you can move past anything. Nothing is too traumatic that you cannot shake eventually. Reach this state in life and you're on the right path to making life your bitch. Well, at least 50% Depending on life experience. Happiness isn't found in possesions, money, Sexual relationships, or hurting others. Eventually you'll be able to calm that hunger for more, (not stop it dead in its tracks, that would be physically impossible but just to tone it down) Not to mention that you'd finally see the bigger picture in life.
This is the curent state of my life mentally. Although I may come off cold to others it is only beacause I am reliant upon myself and only myself. Aka Self sufficient.
Due to being human nothing is perfect. Including my resolve. Which is why I mentioned it is impossible to stop it dead in its tracks. My weakness seems to be one person. Only she can break my resolve. Until I learn how to resist that as well eventually.
Saaaace out..