boo for college
College is hard. End of story.
But that's not the end of the story, it's only the beginning really. Since I've come to college, I have realized that I am a completely naive and foolish person. My black studies class has really opened my eyes to this fact. I of course knew that there is still racism in our country and that it is still a HUGE colossal problem. I just never knew how big. Or just how ingrained racism is into the minds of whites in america. And this causes me to look like the silly white girl in my class sometimes. In my black studies class we discuss our readings and i feel that a lot of times im pretty realistic and know how things really are and make good comments in class, but then, my hopeless optimism sneaks in occasionally and i look like an idiot. Like today. And the teacher just kinda looked at me and said, "Well, Sabrina you're different and that's not how the world is." And then i bowed my head in shame. I just hate that sometimes i can't see how things really are. I'm coming to realize that no matter how hard I try to see life from the viewpoint of a black person and how frustrating it must be, i can never really know. And that frustrates me because then I don't always know how to make things better. And i don't see a point in learning all this information about the injustices and discrimination against blacks if we don't try to do anything to change it. I just want to make things better, am i so foolish for feeling this way? Sometimes I just feel that when i make suggestions in class about how we could fix things people just react me to like "What color is the sky in your world?" And i really just don't know what to do about it. I want to make a difference so badly and i don't want this injustice to continue, but people are just making me feel like it's impossible, and that frustrates that hopeless optimist in me.
And i now have to go write a paper for Holocaust Literature that i have been putting off ALL week! Ugh, i'm so lame!
But that's not the end of the story, it's only the beginning really. Since I've come to college, I have realized that I am a completely naive and foolish person. My black studies class has really opened my eyes to this fact. I of course knew that there is still racism in our country and that it is still a HUGE colossal problem. I just never knew how big. Or just how ingrained racism is into the minds of whites in america. And this causes me to look like the silly white girl in my class sometimes. In my black studies class we discuss our readings and i feel that a lot of times im pretty realistic and know how things really are and make good comments in class, but then, my hopeless optimism sneaks in occasionally and i look like an idiot. Like today. And the teacher just kinda looked at me and said, "Well, Sabrina you're different and that's not how the world is." And then i bowed my head in shame. I just hate that sometimes i can't see how things really are. I'm coming to realize that no matter how hard I try to see life from the viewpoint of a black person and how frustrating it must be, i can never really know. And that frustrates me because then I don't always know how to make things better. And i don't see a point in learning all this information about the injustices and discrimination against blacks if we don't try to do anything to change it. I just want to make things better, am i so foolish for feeling this way? Sometimes I just feel that when i make suggestions in class about how we could fix things people just react me to like "What color is the sky in your world?" And i really just don't know what to do about it. I want to make a difference so badly and i don't want this injustice to continue, but people are just making me feel like it's impossible, and that frustrates that hopeless optimist in me.
And i now have to go write a paper for Holocaust Literature that i have been putting off ALL week! Ugh, i'm so lame!