(no subject)
mmmm...noone reads my livejournal but I need to vent. :(
I hate Jackson and a better part of half the pricks/cunts that live here, everyone is fake and all anyone does is talk shit. I'm hoping next year I can go to night school so I won't have to deal with any of this anymore. I hate school with a deeper passion than I could hate anything. It's boring/pointless and I'm learning the same boring/pointless shit I learned LAST year. Hmm my friends, well there really isn't that many anymore. I don't talk to a lot of people because frankly I don't wanna have to deal with them. I know its mean to say but I've changed and none of my friends seem to "get" me anymore. It seems like Joey is really the only one that gets me right now. Don't get me wrong the few friends I have I adore, but I'm a totally different person than I was just 4 short months ago. I haven't been even truely happy lately, it seems the only time I'm happy is when I'm with Joey or when I talk to Joey, he brings out the best in me and I love that about him. I hate that he lives so far away and I can't see him even a quarter as much as I used to. Than Kayla moved so I don't really have anyone and me and her never talk anymore and it sucks cause I miss her A LOT. I mean of course I have Sabrina, she is my best friend and nothing will change that but shes always with Stephen, which I can understand, but I remember when we used to ALWAYS hangout and now we hardly ever talk except in school really and it sucks. I'm glad I changed though, even though I don't have hardly any friends and I just sit at home all the time now, I like myself better when I'm not worried about having to keep up with my schedual of hanging out with people. It seems all the friends I had over the summer stopped talking to me because I got a boyfriend, but I really don't fucking care cause since I've been with Joey I've been the happiest i've EVER been. I mean of course I want friends, everyone does, but I can't seem to really get along or relate to anyone anymore. I just can't wait until I graduate so I can get the hell outta Jackon, away from everyone and away from my family. My dad ruined my life and I hate him, i know its mean to say that you hate your dad but he's never even truely been a dad to me and never will. I could never even see my dad as being my dad he will always be that guy who hurt me so much and ruined almost every aspect of my life. Thank god I'm leaving Jackson today for a few days, maybe when I come back I'll be happy but I doubt it. The truth is I don't miss the old me, the old Sabrina that everyone knew, and everyone hung out with and every guy wanted to hook-up with because they thought I was "easy" which I'm not. I like the new me that doesn't care anymore. When Joey moved everything changed even though it was only like 3 weeks ago, a lot can change in that amount of time and it has. I'll never be the same person I was last year, or even the same person I was 3 months ago, everything in my life has changed so much since Joeys been in my life. I never thought I would've ever met anyone like him and now that I have I love life, well when I'm with him.
GOODNIGHT.