all good things must end
as I sit thinking about the after math (my life) i wonder if i'm going to know what happiness really feels like? i wonder if i ever had happiness in my life and just didn't know it or i just settled for what i thought was happiness at this point i still don't know and i'm finding it really hard to care ... about anything any more . i see people doing things i use to do and i find no enjoyment in it/ nor a want to do it anymore and this ranges from everyday stuff to stuff i use to once a month or when ever i could. i don't know if this means i'm growing up or i just don't see a point in it anymore.
I got a lot going through my head and i want to lash out at the person cuzzing it but seriously what the fuck is the point it just isn't worth it. cuz nothing is going to change. i've always believed that if you wanted something so bad you would eventually get it but lately i'm starting to doubt it and my self and that brings me to the point of this. that i'm shell of the person i use to be. and i hate that ! i use to be a powerful person who people feared and now what am i ? i single mother of 3 and am seriously miserable. i know most of you just read that and said how can you be single. i consider my self single cuz my boyfriend hasn't done shit since 09/09 and i'm the one footing the bills for everything and i'm tired of it. i want my man to have a job and i want to be able to see the profits of his labor. may be this way i would want to look good in stead of looking frumpy and like i just don't give fuck anymore, cuz whats eating me from the inside is starting to show on the outside in little ways.
I got a lot going through my head and i want to lash out at the person cuzzing it but seriously what the fuck is the point it just isn't worth it. cuz nothing is going to change. i've always believed that if you wanted something so bad you would eventually get it but lately i'm starting to doubt it and my self and that brings me to the point of this. that i'm shell of the person i use to be. and i hate that ! i use to be a powerful person who people feared and now what am i ? i single mother of 3 and am seriously miserable. i know most of you just read that and said how can you be single. i consider my self single cuz my boyfriend hasn't done shit since 09/09 and i'm the one footing the bills for everything and i'm tired of it. i want my man to have a job and i want to be able to see the profits of his labor. may be this way i would want to look good in stead of looking frumpy and like i just don't give fuck anymore, cuz whats eating me from the inside is starting to show on the outside in little ways.