careful where you stand
I just finished watching my favorite tragedy. Not to say that it is only tragedy, because parts of it are wistful and wonderful and very romantic. And parts of it, especially the letters are one of the manyr easons that I am a hopeless romantic. (le sigh)
Anyway, it's Cyrano de Bergerac, by Rostand. And I got to see it in french, which is just nice. This is the version that I think I saw first in Mrs. Smith's class, though it could have been Mrs. Pettit's class. I can't remember now, but oh, goodness, it has gerard Depardeau in it and I sort of like him a bunch anyway, because he was in that one movie with Whoopie Goldberg and he was this kid's imaginary friend who wasn't completely imaginary. That and he's a huge guy, I mean, really. And I think I once saw a movie with hiim in it in which I saw his butt, but I can't be sure.
(hahaha butt, but)
People keep mentioning how sad I must be, because of my livejournal entries. It seems, when I look back on when I have written here, and what I write about that it makes sense that people could get that impression from it, but I would like to refute the general opinion. For the most part I am happy. Sometimes I am not, but for the most part I deal with it. I think that I have to deal with it. No, I am not going to go back and get on drugs agian so they can not work and just to make me happier a couple days out of the month that I feel shitty. I think I'm supposed to have those days. I think if I didn't things would be worse. So, stop calling me depressed, because I'm trying now.
I was talking to Vanessa today, and it's neat to find out more and more that there are people who think like me. it is amusing. We are going to become movie watching friends. I am excited about that.
I think that I want to have written the modern version of Cyrano. or at least read a modern version, and no, I don't want it to be roxane with Steve martin in it. There isn't the honor and panache in that one that the story needs for me to like it still. Oh, to be a writer. Oh, to have a balcony off which to be romanced. Oh to still have hats with feathers in them. I think this goes in the same category that likes the books by Dumas. I am a silly woman.
Don't worry, soon I will start reading Tender is the Night, and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and this will all be in the past, and life will go on.
Colin sometimes comes to this page and searches for his name. I don't know how he must feel, looking at the entries associated with his name, but you know, it goes with what I was saying earlier, about only writing in the bad times, because that's really when I say things here, to not say things elsewhere that make life difficult. I'm looking forward, tentatively to him being home in september, and some of October. But I don't know what I will do with myself while he is here, but not here. I don't know even more what will happen after that. SOon, I am hopeing to be able to get past the fear that comes from not know ing what happens next and spend my time with him wisely. And not throw things when he gets frustrating and is within 1500 miles for once. He better bring a helmet, poor kid. It's been a long time since I have had a non-long-distance relationship. Do you think we'll go on dates? LIke real dates? Or maybe he'll all try and court me? (I'll get over it, really) I wonder if we'll act like lovesick fools the whole time he's home. I wonder if I'll be able to not work as much then. I wonder too much.
I love coldplay. They are a lovely band. I am excited about Austin City Limits, and look forward to going there. My parents get their puppy in a week, and I can't wait. Oh to have a puppy again!
This is getting too long so,
Love Always,
Caitlin
Anyway, it's Cyrano de Bergerac, by Rostand. And I got to see it in french, which is just nice. This is the version that I think I saw first in Mrs. Smith's class, though it could have been Mrs. Pettit's class. I can't remember now, but oh, goodness, it has gerard Depardeau in it and I sort of like him a bunch anyway, because he was in that one movie with Whoopie Goldberg and he was this kid's imaginary friend who wasn't completely imaginary. That and he's a huge guy, I mean, really. And I think I once saw a movie with hiim in it in which I saw his butt, but I can't be sure.
(hahaha butt, but)
People keep mentioning how sad I must be, because of my livejournal entries. It seems, when I look back on when I have written here, and what I write about that it makes sense that people could get that impression from it, but I would like to refute the general opinion. For the most part I am happy. Sometimes I am not, but for the most part I deal with it. I think that I have to deal with it. No, I am not going to go back and get on drugs agian so they can not work and just to make me happier a couple days out of the month that I feel shitty. I think I'm supposed to have those days. I think if I didn't things would be worse. So, stop calling me depressed, because I'm trying now.
I was talking to Vanessa today, and it's neat to find out more and more that there are people who think like me. it is amusing. We are going to become movie watching friends. I am excited about that.
I think that I want to have written the modern version of Cyrano. or at least read a modern version, and no, I don't want it to be roxane with Steve martin in it. There isn't the honor and panache in that one that the story needs for me to like it still. Oh, to be a writer. Oh, to have a balcony off which to be romanced. Oh to still have hats with feathers in them. I think this goes in the same category that likes the books by Dumas. I am a silly woman.
Don't worry, soon I will start reading Tender is the Night, and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and this will all be in the past, and life will go on.
Colin sometimes comes to this page and searches for his name. I don't know how he must feel, looking at the entries associated with his name, but you know, it goes with what I was saying earlier, about only writing in the bad times, because that's really when I say things here, to not say things elsewhere that make life difficult. I'm looking forward, tentatively to him being home in september, and some of October. But I don't know what I will do with myself while he is here, but not here. I don't know even more what will happen after that. SOon, I am hopeing to be able to get past the fear that comes from not know ing what happens next and spend my time with him wisely. And not throw things when he gets frustrating and is within 1500 miles for once. He better bring a helmet, poor kid. It's been a long time since I have had a non-long-distance relationship. Do you think we'll go on dates? LIke real dates? Or maybe he'll all try and court me? (I'll get over it, really) I wonder if we'll act like lovesick fools the whole time he's home. I wonder if I'll be able to not work as much then. I wonder too much.
I love coldplay. They are a lovely band. I am excited about Austin City Limits, and look forward to going there. My parents get their puppy in a week, and I can't wait. Oh to have a puppy again!
This is getting too long so,
Love Always,
Caitlin