(no subject)
God work has been... work.
I have the highest salary I've ever had by a HUGE margin, my own parking spot in the busiest, most expensive downtown area in this country, I just got a new laptop that's better than the laptop I got a few months ago, and this month I'll probably get a new iphone.
This week I've done more things socially than I have basically since starting this job. On Sunday a friend came over and we watched shows together, on Monday I got free tickets to a movie premiere ("The Last Duel", which I had time to write down thoughts about that... situation), on Tuesday I met another friend downtown for Halloween donuts, on Wednesday I visited a different friend who's visiting from abroad.
I could have had plans on Thursday as well but chose not to, because Friday (today) which is of course the weekend for us, I met friends for lunch and we ended up going to two very delicious restaurants (brunch and then dessert). Tomorrow I have a family event and then meeting my cousin for an evening a bar.
Like, my life is not just work anymore!
But it still feels like it is. There's so much drama and transition at work, and none of it is bad, like even the "worst" parts of it are still ultimately OK. I'm getting my own team, a lot more independence, a lot more responsibility (which is what I wanted). The oversight over my work is about to be basically non-existent for better or worse. And ultimately, as long as I'm still super into doing this job, not really having a boss is kind of how I like it? It means I get to set my own rules and do things my way as long as I deliver results. It's harder, but it suits my working style much better and gives me a lot more control.
But meanwhile I feel like there's just work.
This week I got the official OK to work from home twice a week and already this week it's been a godsend. I still need to figure out how to make it work best, how to balance different tasks and structure my day and so on.
The people are nice. There are a few assholes here and there (this week it was the insufferable asshole who decided I'd never held a real job before and tried to micromanage me into oblivion before I thankfully found a way to get him to back off) but for the most part my job means being in contact with all parts of the company and all the parts are... really nice.
Compared to my previous job where most of my colleagues were a nightmare to work with, and my boss for the last few years was a nightmare as well, here most of the people I deal with on every level are pleasant and professional and nice. Some of them are even actively funny and fun to work with.
A few moments from the last week:
* An employee who's at least a decade older than me and has worked at this company for ages currently works under me for a specific project. He's very friendly and professional, a genuinely nice guy, but he also knows projects come and go and he doesn't form particular attachments to temporary managers. This week I realized he was trying to manipulate me into getting him better work, that he wanted to do, instead of work he didn't want to do but didn't have the seniority to refuse.
Which was nice! I'm in a position of sufficient power now that experienced, valued people at the company try to manipulate me to steer projects where they want to steer them! LOL next step will be to get him to trust me and work directly with me to get what he wants instead of trying to push me in that direction, but I'm sure that'll take time.
* I've gotten to work a lot this week with the Wonder Twins. Two best friends who met at this job 5+ years ago, both in "no experience required", low paying positions, and who over that time taught themselves programming, became best friends, and are now both in managerial positions, while also getting a degree together.
They have complementary professional skills and are often given tasks to do together, and I've gone from a point where they don't know or trust me to where we have meetings just the three of us and they crack me up. I still have to stand up to them on some issues, because that's my role, but overall they're just... a joy to work with. Friendly, reliable, nice, chill.
* My mentor (who is technically my boss? It's very weird, she's not involved in my work in any way at this point) is about to go on maternity leave and this week on Thursday she came into the office (she normally works from home) and asked if we could go for a long fancy lunch together. I said yes, of course! I mean she's technically in charge after all lol
We went to a fancy shmancy hotel next door and had lunch on the terrace and talked for like 2 hours. She encouraged me to ask for a much higher salary, and start talking about a raise right now even though I'm still new, she kept trying to pass on to me the wisdom of how to deal with people who will want all of my time when I only have 10% of my time to give.
It was nice, to feel like I have her support and feedback. I don't know if we're technically "friends" yet but it certainly feels like she's genuinely on my side and is trying to set me up as best she can before she leaves. I'll genuinely miss her a lot, and feel like I've lost an avenue of support and advice within the company.
* I needed something from one of the department heads who sits in the big open office we have (where no one from my department EVER sits lol), because one of his employees was supposed to work on one of my projects, and then the employee told me he'd gotten other tasks that were higher priority.
So I came to his boss to ask WTF, this employee was only supposed to work on my project, that's it. I walked up to the department head and called him by his given name, out loud, in front of everyone, and got some genuinely shocked reactions.
There's a weird, military-esque thing at this company where half the people you work with are only known by their nicknames, which are usually based on their surnames. So, this fearsome department head, who wears only black and never smiles, is known only by his surname and that's it.
And here I was, calling him by his given name, out loud, in an accusatory manner. I did it to be playful and funny and a little "shocking" and amidst the cries of "wait, that's his name?!" and "he has a first name?!" from other colleagues, I could see this fearsome department head stifle a small smile he simply couldn't help, at this dramatic scene we were playing out.
I smiled in return, and didn't abuse my privileges again, sticking to his surname, and I asked him why he went against our agreement for his employee's time, and he said it was a misunderstanding but also tried to "pay me back" for the small embarrassment by bringing up a previous favor he'd done me, and how I couldn't simply dictate terms whenever I liked, and I said that's fine, as long as we stick to our deal.
Then I thanked him and moved on, and he called the employee over to straighten out the misunderstanding (I overheard him saying "you're a big boy, you can do two things at once" lol).
* By far the most stressful and annoying project I have is one where my supervisor is one of the founders of the company. This week he was on vacation and I had to carry the project alone and also make sure I had something to show for it and he didn't return in a week to things not having progressed, which was part of why this week was SO hectic and stressful.
Anyway, I've been killing myself to get this project done to his specifications, feeling all the while that I'm still learning and I keep relying on him and fucking up in small ways and maybe somehow not doing enough. This founder is also known as someone who's very pleasant and professional, but has no sense of boundaries in terms of workload, works 24/7 and doesn't understand why some people would choose not to.
Anyway, last week we were going over some data, and he turned to me and said - "I just wanna say, way to go. You're doing a great job." And then he went on to say that he's impressed by how I've taken this project super seriously on the one hand, but on the other I manage it so well, don't let people bully me into decisions, don't let drama or complaints phase me. I just stay the course and keep pushing things forward and doing a great job, apparently.
(Context here, perhaps, is that the person they hired for my department a few weeks ahead of me, when he got his first real project, had a few weeks of stress meltdowns, fits of rage and rudeness towards his team members, and generally didn't cope with things super well.)
Anyway, it was an amazing moment, and after that conversation I felt more confident setting boundaries in terms of workload, and also the founder seemed to realize that he couldn't ask me for more work than I was already doing, and that that work was pretty damn good, actually.
* Writing this post, it made me realize that again outside of the occasional rare asshole, I just had the hardest and busiest week I've ever had professionally, I had to talk to and rely on and work with a ton of different people, and every new person I needed was kind and helpful and nice and I didn't dread any of those interactions nor come away from them frustrated or angry.
Anyway, I look forward to there being... things other than work in my head. Every weekend it feels like I'm getting closer to that, but then I'm not sure it's really getting better week-to-week. My boss has basically agreed with me than the next month is going to "very challenging" in terms of the amount of things I need to get done, although I intend to continue pushing back against attempts to give me more work than is reasonable. And also like, seeing friends and hopefully going for walks and maaaaaybe even somehow managing to go swimming this week, midday, on a day when I'm working from home. We'll see.
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I have the highest salary I've ever had by a HUGE margin, my own parking spot in the busiest, most expensive downtown area in this country, I just got a new laptop that's better than the laptop I got a few months ago, and this month I'll probably get a new iphone.
This week I've done more things socially than I have basically since starting this job. On Sunday a friend came over and we watched shows together, on Monday I got free tickets to a movie premiere ("The Last Duel", which I had time to write down thoughts about that... situation), on Tuesday I met another friend downtown for Halloween donuts, on Wednesday I visited a different friend who's visiting from abroad.
I could have had plans on Thursday as well but chose not to, because Friday (today) which is of course the weekend for us, I met friends for lunch and we ended up going to two very delicious restaurants (brunch and then dessert). Tomorrow I have a family event and then meeting my cousin for an evening a bar.
Like, my life is not just work anymore!
But it still feels like it is. There's so much drama and transition at work, and none of it is bad, like even the "worst" parts of it are still ultimately OK. I'm getting my own team, a lot more independence, a lot more responsibility (which is what I wanted). The oversight over my work is about to be basically non-existent for better or worse. And ultimately, as long as I'm still super into doing this job, not really having a boss is kind of how I like it? It means I get to set my own rules and do things my way as long as I deliver results. It's harder, but it suits my working style much better and gives me a lot more control.
But meanwhile I feel like there's just work.
This week I got the official OK to work from home twice a week and already this week it's been a godsend. I still need to figure out how to make it work best, how to balance different tasks and structure my day and so on.
The people are nice. There are a few assholes here and there (this week it was the insufferable asshole who decided I'd never held a real job before and tried to micromanage me into oblivion before I thankfully found a way to get him to back off) but for the most part my job means being in contact with all parts of the company and all the parts are... really nice.
Compared to my previous job where most of my colleagues were a nightmare to work with, and my boss for the last few years was a nightmare as well, here most of the people I deal with on every level are pleasant and professional and nice. Some of them are even actively funny and fun to work with.
A few moments from the last week:
* An employee who's at least a decade older than me and has worked at this company for ages currently works under me for a specific project. He's very friendly and professional, a genuinely nice guy, but he also knows projects come and go and he doesn't form particular attachments to temporary managers. This week I realized he was trying to manipulate me into getting him better work, that he wanted to do, instead of work he didn't want to do but didn't have the seniority to refuse.
Which was nice! I'm in a position of sufficient power now that experienced, valued people at the company try to manipulate me to steer projects where they want to steer them! LOL next step will be to get him to trust me and work directly with me to get what he wants instead of trying to push me in that direction, but I'm sure that'll take time.
* I've gotten to work a lot this week with the Wonder Twins. Two best friends who met at this job 5+ years ago, both in "no experience required", low paying positions, and who over that time taught themselves programming, became best friends, and are now both in managerial positions, while also getting a degree together.
They have complementary professional skills and are often given tasks to do together, and I've gone from a point where they don't know or trust me to where we have meetings just the three of us and they crack me up. I still have to stand up to them on some issues, because that's my role, but overall they're just... a joy to work with. Friendly, reliable, nice, chill.
* My mentor (who is technically my boss? It's very weird, she's not involved in my work in any way at this point) is about to go on maternity leave and this week on Thursday she came into the office (she normally works from home) and asked if we could go for a long fancy lunch together. I said yes, of course! I mean she's technically in charge after all lol
We went to a fancy shmancy hotel next door and had lunch on the terrace and talked for like 2 hours. She encouraged me to ask for a much higher salary, and start talking about a raise right now even though I'm still new, she kept trying to pass on to me the wisdom of how to deal with people who will want all of my time when I only have 10% of my time to give.
It was nice, to feel like I have her support and feedback. I don't know if we're technically "friends" yet but it certainly feels like she's genuinely on my side and is trying to set me up as best she can before she leaves. I'll genuinely miss her a lot, and feel like I've lost an avenue of support and advice within the company.
* I needed something from one of the department heads who sits in the big open office we have (where no one from my department EVER sits lol), because one of his employees was supposed to work on one of my projects, and then the employee told me he'd gotten other tasks that were higher priority.
So I came to his boss to ask WTF, this employee was only supposed to work on my project, that's it. I walked up to the department head and called him by his given name, out loud, in front of everyone, and got some genuinely shocked reactions.
There's a weird, military-esque thing at this company where half the people you work with are only known by their nicknames, which are usually based on their surnames. So, this fearsome department head, who wears only black and never smiles, is known only by his surname and that's it.
And here I was, calling him by his given name, out loud, in an accusatory manner. I did it to be playful and funny and a little "shocking" and amidst the cries of "wait, that's his name?!" and "he has a first name?!" from other colleagues, I could see this fearsome department head stifle a small smile he simply couldn't help, at this dramatic scene we were playing out.
I smiled in return, and didn't abuse my privileges again, sticking to his surname, and I asked him why he went against our agreement for his employee's time, and he said it was a misunderstanding but also tried to "pay me back" for the small embarrassment by bringing up a previous favor he'd done me, and how I couldn't simply dictate terms whenever I liked, and I said that's fine, as long as we stick to our deal.
Then I thanked him and moved on, and he called the employee over to straighten out the misunderstanding (I overheard him saying "you're a big boy, you can do two things at once" lol).
* By far the most stressful and annoying project I have is one where my supervisor is one of the founders of the company. This week he was on vacation and I had to carry the project alone and also make sure I had something to show for it and he didn't return in a week to things not having progressed, which was part of why this week was SO hectic and stressful.
Anyway, I've been killing myself to get this project done to his specifications, feeling all the while that I'm still learning and I keep relying on him and fucking up in small ways and maybe somehow not doing enough. This founder is also known as someone who's very pleasant and professional, but has no sense of boundaries in terms of workload, works 24/7 and doesn't understand why some people would choose not to.
Anyway, last week we were going over some data, and he turned to me and said - "I just wanna say, way to go. You're doing a great job." And then he went on to say that he's impressed by how I've taken this project super seriously on the one hand, but on the other I manage it so well, don't let people bully me into decisions, don't let drama or complaints phase me. I just stay the course and keep pushing things forward and doing a great job, apparently.
(Context here, perhaps, is that the person they hired for my department a few weeks ahead of me, when he got his first real project, had a few weeks of stress meltdowns, fits of rage and rudeness towards his team members, and generally didn't cope with things super well.)
Anyway, it was an amazing moment, and after that conversation I felt more confident setting boundaries in terms of workload, and also the founder seemed to realize that he couldn't ask me for more work than I was already doing, and that that work was pretty damn good, actually.
* Writing this post, it made me realize that again outside of the occasional rare asshole, I just had the hardest and busiest week I've ever had professionally, I had to talk to and rely on and work with a ton of different people, and every new person I needed was kind and helpful and nice and I didn't dread any of those interactions nor come away from them frustrated or angry.
Anyway, I look forward to there being... things other than work in my head. Every weekend it feels like I'm getting closer to that, but then I'm not sure it's really getting better week-to-week. My boss has basically agreed with me than the next month is going to "very challenging" in terms of the amount of things I need to get done, although I intend to continue pushing back against attempts to give me more work than is reasonable. And also like, seeing friends and hopefully going for walks and maaaaaybe even somehow managing to go swimming this week, midday, on a day when I'm working from home. We'll see.
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