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Welp, those were certainly 3 full days and that happened! MY GOD.
I had several days of play rehearsals in a row, culminating in the actual con!
On Tuesday morning I picked up Brandon Sanderson, his wife and mom, from their hotel and took them to the con. It's frustrating how much of my frustration with the organizational aspects of this (that had nothing to do with Sanderson) I can't share it in public, but suffice it to say, I shouldn't have met Sanderson for the FIRST TIME EVER that morning, but alas, that's what we had.
So, I took all three Sandersons to the con, to Brandon's first event, which was the launch of his latest book in Hebrew. Afterwards we had a group photo with some cosplayers, who Sanderson said were some of the most impressive he'd ever seen for his books.
I then took him to a nearby venue where we organized an autograph session for con staff, and I learned the choreography of how he does signings, with the practice of a Hollywood movie star, honestly, where everything ticks along like a finely tuned watch.
There were only a few staff members who knew about the singing (because again it wasn't organized in advance, but we'll leave that aside). Then there were a few press interviews, and then time for his next event, which was a lecture (on which he was apparently not briefed AT ALL [redacted rant here]) to which I delivered him and made sure everything was OK (the room they gave him was the con's biggest, for 500 seats) and then left to do hair and make up for the play!
I showed up just over an hour before curtain call, and was met by my own make up artist, assigned to me because the general dressing room was in a different building, on the third floor, with no elevator, and I can't do that many stairs right now because knee problems, so the compromise was that I'd get a different getting-ready area, in an accessible building (where our theater also was) and someone would deliver my costume and a I'd get ready last when a make up artist could be spared to work on me exclusively.
I legit spent an hour in make up, though it did come out looking AMAZING. She put what was essentially very high quality gold sparkle flue in my eyebrows and painted my whole face in golden hues. Unfortunately because it wasn't a real dressing room, I had to deal with random people walking in occasionally and having gross conversations I didn't want to meddle in (and couldn't because my face was being worked on). The make up artist was absolutely lovely and amazing, and a fangirl of the play and source material it was based on (award winning short stories that will soon come out as a book) and it was just a mutual circle of admiration with me and her.
And then it was SHOWTIME!
My first time in front a live, paying audience! In a way I was less nervous than usual, because when I do lectures it's all on me? Like if I fuck up, there's no one else to take the fall. I single handedly could ruin the event. But here, I was such a small cog, it was like there was no pressure? Even if I suck, the play will still be great.
But in another way there was also that weird intense pressure of like, there is a chasm between the darkness of the backstage, where no one is looking at me, and I'm just myself wearing a froofy dress, and the bright lights of the stage, where EVERYONE is looking at me, and expecting me to be someone I'm not, and to perform in a very specific way. Say the right words and make the right movements.
But I knew I had to grit my teeth and deal with that pressure, draw from it the excitement it offers, the thing that makes performing so fun, and just grit my teeth and deal with the negative side of it. Which I did.
I stumbled a tiny bit on my very first word on stage, but immediately corrected myself, and like any form of public speaking, once I got past the first line the sense memory kicked in, the preparation, the discipline that's been drilled into me by all those rehearsals, and I was fine. On the show the next day, I didn't even have that tiny hiccup.
The audience seemed to liked me, and to laugh at the right bits, AND I hit my cues for the bit of physical comedy I did, even though the blocking wasn't ideal. I panicked for a moment when the stage wasn't set up the way it was "supposed to" when I came out, but the director later told me she couldn't even tell, and if I felt panic I certainly hit it perfectly and no one could tell anything was wrong.
Anyway, the show ended at 10pm, we did my favorite part which is coming out and taking our bows IN CHARACTER :D, to really great music, and getting to hold hands with all the other actors on stage and bow as one, and then skipping along to the wings, to get undressed and sort everything out.
Because I was excused from carrying props or costumes or bits and bobs back to the dressing room (someone else took all of my stuff, I just had to get it organized) I changed and came out to hang out with my friends, which was super amazing, and also I still had ridiculous gold make up on, lol, and had to go yet again get special attention from the make up people to have it removed.
I then hung out with friends, they were very kind in telling me how well I did and how much they liked the play, and then I went to have dinner with the cast. Which I'm VERY GLAD I DID because that was my one and only chance to do so, lol.
The one thing I was really touched by was how... at some point I ~revealed to everyone in a text message that this was my first time ever doing a play, and after that SO MANY castmates and stage workers came up to me to say they couldn't BELIEVE I was a first timer, and that I was CLEARLY A NATURAL and how they'd never imagine in a billion years I'd never done this before, and how the fact that I didn't freeze, stumble, throw up or something like that already made me AMAZING compared to most first-timers.
One actor told me he'd assumed I'd been cast late because I was a known quantity, a very good actress, and the play needed help, and so the director brought me in to augment the cast and bolster it, knowing I'd catch up in no time. He'd had no idea that I'd actually never done this before.
One of the veteran actors who apparently "never compliments anyone's acting" made a point of telling me I was amazing and clearly was meant to be doing this. Another veteran actor, when he realized what a first timer I was, started to take a much more... mentor-like role with me? And I mean, this is probably the most famous person in our cast, who regularly performs on stage, even outside of plays at cons or whatever, shows that he's in actually sell tickets at traditional venues, including abroad.
And he was just so intentional in sort of suddenly checking in on me, asking how it was going, giving me tips, sometimes serious and sometimes humorous, and just being there when I had questions or needed help. And he too told me I was very good at this, if this was my first time.
Everyone was just very kind, even when they were making jokes about how awful acting is, they were still so generous and so supportive, and I just... really hugely appreciated that, and I'd never experienced that in a theater setting.
Anyway, the dinner was really fun, and I left around half past midnight, got home at around 1am, went to sleep around 3:30 am, after taking out my contacts, wiping off the make up leftovers, showering, and despreately trying to unwind from the adrenaline.
I slept fitfully and woke up at 10am, showered, got ready, dressed for the day, and finally arrived at the con around 12:30, going straight back to the "dressing room" I was using, where the make up artist was waiting, with my costume, to get me ready for the matinee.
Thankfully I had time to stop by the con's staff lounge and grab a sandwich and some tea (which I then promptly spilled and never actually drank) because I wasn't sure when I'd be able to eat for the rest of the day.
Our make up artist had apparently been collecting all of the cast's signatures on every exposed bit of skin (arms, collarbones) and so she asked me to also sign her arms with a blue marker. I signed it "thank you for being amazing, [name], Marina". First time I signed someone's bodypart!
So, the matinee started at 2pm, I arrived literally a few minutes before curtain call. Our stage director had a note for me, based on last night's performance, which he ran by the director and then delivered to me, SEVEN MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW STARTED, and I was like, cool, I hope I manage to change that one line on the fly!
Spoiler alert, I DID MANAGE TO CHANGE IT, and act on the note, and I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT, for being able to adapt like that, probably more than I'm proud of myself for anything else lol.
A few more friends came to the 2pm show, and of course, there were a lot more kids there. It went great for me, even better than the evening show, though there were some minor fuck ups from the other cast members, but FFFF I don't care about that! As long as I did fine the play was great, as far as I'm concerned lolol.
The play started 10 minutes late and ran a little long, and so by the time it was over I was out of time, because I was already supposed to be with Sanderson for my second shift of being his escort/liaison.
Thankfully another team member covered for me while I FRANTICALLY changed out of my costume backstage (something we weren't supposed to do, but I HAD TO so other actors did as well lol /o\) and wiping off the make up with wipes I'd specifically brought from home. A friend brought me a small sandwhich, which I wolfed down even though I wasn't really hungry, but it turned out to be a GOOD MOVE because by 4:10pm I was already at Sanderson's first public signing event, utterly exhausted, still high on adrenaline, and unprepared for the madness.
I can't convey to you how long the line was, because you'd have to know the venue to get it, but suffice it to say it was BY FAR the longest autograph line the con had ever seen (and that includes the years we had GRRM, Gaiman and Orson Scott Card, before his gross opinions were common knowledge). It was absolutely madness. The line was capped pretty early on, and 90% of people were told to go away because they wouldn't be getting in, and STILL a few dozens waited outside for TWO HOURS hoping to see Sanderson.
Inside it was utter madness. Sanderson had a fantastic system to make everything efficient, but it still meant there had to be at least 3 people managing the line, and one of them was me, so I went from being on stage directly into being on my feet for 2 hours and dealing with the crowd and taking photos etc.
Afterwards Sanderson also signed for everyone who'd waited the two hours outside, which of course meant the next day an even larger crowd did the same.
Also, the line was so huge we had to keep the door to the outside open, in the room where he was signing, and it was 4pm and 29c outside, with very high humidity, and the room was PACKED with people... it's a wonder no one fainted. They managed to set up a giant fan eventually, to cool things down, but it took at least an hour when I was afraid Sanderson would melt.
After that delight (I mean, it was a delight for the fans, it just wasn't super great to work that room), we went to a fan meetup of his which was taking place at the con, so he could ~surprise people there. It was very awesome to hear everyone's screams of delight when he walked in, but less awesome that I wasn't told this would be on the schedule [rant redacted]. After about 20 minutes at the meetup we took him to a nearby venue, to a room where he could rest for a bit (lol he asked me on the first day if the con had a green room and I was like "nope, sorry! not that kind of con") and I helped sort out his wife and mom, then got him some hot water with mint and lemon for his throat, and then had about 20 minutes to myself until his next event.
At that point it was 7pm, and I hadn't yet had a proper meal, only that one sandwich in the morning and then a very small sandwich after the play. Yet again I knew I wouldn't have free time until Sanderson's events were over at 10pm, so I used this time to buy myself the nearest thing to food the nearest cafeteria had, which was a small quiche. Sat down to eat that (no tea because the cafeteria had run out of tea) and a friend noticed me, and suddenly a bunch of friends came over, and my 20 minutes of staring into space and giving myself a break turned into social time. Which was great, but also terrible.
So, I inhaled the quiche, retrieved Sanderson and took him to his next event, a panel with some local editors and authors, in the same 500 seat venue.
While the panel was going on, I busied myself with getting him and his family dinner. He'd asked for a specific food, which was hard to get in the immediate area, and I called a few higher ups at the con to ask what my options and resources were. Eventually we got it delivered, and I took it to his wife, but the whole adventure took most of the time his event was going on.
I finally came in 10 minutes before the end, and waited for him to be done. After the panel he was absolutely SWARMED by people, to the point where one of the panelists came up to me and was like, you need to get him out, this isn't a good situation. I consulted his wife, who's also his business manager, and she said to give him a few minutes to interact with fans, but after a bit I could see he himself was getting overwhelmed (at least so I thought) and I did the thing I was "hired" to do which was get the crowd to GTFO and get him safely outside.
The enthusiasm was so great, people were getting his wife and mom to sign their books, OK?
In the elevator, when it was just me and him and his family, he wondered why fans here seemed to be so... enthusiastic? And I basically had to explain the thing where Israelis have no boundaries, no concept of personal space, and will absolutely feel "rude" to anyone from... well, most of the world, but for sure North America, East Asia, or Western Europe, which were his most prominent reference points.
And then to get him out of the building I had to get him through another random block of let's say 30 or so of his fans, and let me tell you, getting three people through a crowd in a tight passage by myself was certain... a skill I'd forgotten about. I just kept yelling "excuse me, excuse me, not now please, this isn't a good time, he's gotta go" and gently and less gently pushing people aside until we were through.
So, with food in hand, I deposited everyone back at their hotel, around 10:30pm, then took care of some other administrative stuff that had to do with Sanderson's events until 11pm, and then slowly made my way home. I probably got home just after midnight, discovering I'd gotten my period, which also helped explain why I'd been feeling extra Like Shit that day.
So, awesome! Utterly exhausted AND on my period. I wiped the rest of the make up off, took out my contacts, showered, but honestly I was SO tired and wired at that point, and so out of it, I yet again didn't fall asleep until 3:30am.
I woke up the next day 10:45, and slowly started working through the haze to get my shit together, and make it to the con for the my first panel at 2pm. There was NO FOOD in the house, though I tried to make eggs, because I needed to eat because I needed to take painkillers.
So, feeling super sluggish and exhausted, I got to the con JUST IN TIME, and literally walked into the room at 2:00pm on the dot, when of course I was supposed to be there early. It was a panel of female authors talking about their works (technically "about spoilers and fanfics" or whatever, with a bunch of people on stage who'd never read a fic in their lives), and the crowd was small but very invested and enthusiastic.
I felt very slow and muted, but I think I performed well. Afterwards I got my first glimpse of the printed anthology in which one of my stories just came out, translated from Hebrew to English. One of the other authors asked me to sign her copy, and I realized it was 4pm on the last day of the con and I hadn't yet picked up my copies!
After the panel I went to take care of all of this stuff. To pick up books and put them in my car, to check on the books I'd given to the second-hand market to sell for me, to get a proper sandwich from the staff lounge and make myself a fucking cup of tea. To wander around the con and look at the dealers who were selling beautiful things and wonder about what I could afford to buy.
My next event was at 8pm.
I was determined to be on time for it, so around 7:30pm I went back to the staff lounge for a cup of tea to take into the venue with me, but before I could make I was approached by a much younger staff member who I sorta-kinda know who needed help because something had just happened to her and she was really shaken and she felt violated and angry and needed to talk to the con's sexual harassment prevention team and I was the first Responsible Adult she saw and recognized and she needed my help.
At first I didn't realize how serious this was, I thought she just needed to talk to that team to consult them about something, but then it became clear she was very distraught. So I scrambled to find their phone number (which is plastered all over the con and in the future I'll just input into my phone) and told her to call them, knowing full well they'll take care of her.
But a moment later she came to find me to say no one was answering at the number (which was weird, because the phone is held by whoever is on call at that moment) and I tried to think of who I knew on the team who I could call right then and ask for help (at the staff briefing before the con we were all told - DO NOT try to handle potential cases of harassment on your own, just stabilize the situation and offer general comfort until a member of the right team arrives). So, I called the head of the Israeli SFF Association lol, and she picked up and I described the situation and said I needed help, and she said someone was on the way.
So I sat with this girl, gave her a glass of water, she kept apologizing for taking up my time, I kept telling her there's nothing to apologize for, and we could just sit here in silence if she wanted to just think and regroup and be with herself, or we could talk about stuff, she could ask me questions or I could tell her things, whatever she wanted, we had all the time in the world.
Finally a staff member arrived, but it was, of course, the director of my play, my friend, who was supposed to be on a panel with me in a few minutes!! I didn't understand WHY she was sent to take care of this, of all people, though I assume she just insisted to be the one to take care of it, which she needs to STOP DOING god, because they're a fairly large team and she really doesn't need to pull so many shifts.
Anyway, I left them to talk, because that's the protocol, and went to the venue for my last panel. Where I explained where our missing panelist was to everyone.
Eventually we got her back, just in time, as the case was passed on to someone else for handling.
The panel was about fanfic! and it was pretty good. Everyone else on the panel were either people who hadn't read fanfic in ages, or people who are lurkers and so were never an active part of my corner of fandom, but it was still fun and I managed to let go and also function despite being utterly braindead. According to
roga the response in the audience was overall very favorable, although of course in the front row, right in front me, sat down two (I'm presuming straight) dudes who made faces and disgusted noises throughout until the panelists invited them to leave and/or shut the fuck up.
Honestly as the youngest person on the panel, and the least experienced with cons, it was really cool to be on stage with three women who were very willing and able to control even the biggest asshole in a crowd, including kicking them out if necessary.
I still remember a different panel with a similar make up, where a dude in the front row kept throwing random comments at us, and one of my fellow panelists told him if he opened his mouth again she'd have him removed from the room, without missing a beat, in middle of an unrelated point she was making. It was awe inspiring.
Anyway, after the panel we went out to eat, MY FIRST PROPER MEAL OF THE CON. I was like, I DON'T CARE, GIVE ME ALL THE REAL FOOD, FEED ME STEAK. I deliberately wanted to go to one of the nicer restaurants around, to have REAL FOOD, and was not disappointing. Eating meat at 11pm on the other hand, was absolutely atrocious. I usually don't eat anything that heavy after 7pm and there are REASONS WHY. I can't fall asleep afterwards and feel like crap overall.
But I was honestly SO DESPERATELY for real food, omg. So, we hung out, ate, talked, until about 1:30am, at which point we dispersed.
Mostly I really, really needed to process everything, especially the play, and having my director at the table, and other production participants stopping by, was really great. It helped take away some of that stoppered grief of it being over forever and me not knowing how to handle that. (I'm not the only one! At least one other actor has also been very upset about this.)
I got home around 2:10am, showered, changed, went to sleep at 4am, and woke up just after noon the next day.
Today I've basically been a zombie, as you can expect.
And oh, fuck my life, it's 2:30am again, and I still need to shower, and then go with
roga to watch her perform with her choir and spend the whole day... very far from home.
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I had several days of play rehearsals in a row, culminating in the actual con!
On Tuesday morning I picked up Brandon Sanderson, his wife and mom, from their hotel and took them to the con. It's frustrating how much of my frustration with the organizational aspects of this (that had nothing to do with Sanderson) I can't share it in public, but suffice it to say, I shouldn't have met Sanderson for the FIRST TIME EVER that morning, but alas, that's what we had.
So, I took all three Sandersons to the con, to Brandon's first event, which was the launch of his latest book in Hebrew. Afterwards we had a group photo with some cosplayers, who Sanderson said were some of the most impressive he'd ever seen for his books.
I then took him to a nearby venue where we organized an autograph session for con staff, and I learned the choreography of how he does signings, with the practice of a Hollywood movie star, honestly, where everything ticks along like a finely tuned watch.
There were only a few staff members who knew about the singing (because again it wasn't organized in advance, but we'll leave that aside). Then there were a few press interviews, and then time for his next event, which was a lecture (on which he was apparently not briefed AT ALL [redacted rant here]) to which I delivered him and made sure everything was OK (the room they gave him was the con's biggest, for 500 seats) and then left to do hair and make up for the play!
I showed up just over an hour before curtain call, and was met by my own make up artist, assigned to me because the general dressing room was in a different building, on the third floor, with no elevator, and I can't do that many stairs right now because knee problems, so the compromise was that I'd get a different getting-ready area, in an accessible building (where our theater also was) and someone would deliver my costume and a I'd get ready last when a make up artist could be spared to work on me exclusively.
I legit spent an hour in make up, though it did come out looking AMAZING. She put what was essentially very high quality gold sparkle flue in my eyebrows and painted my whole face in golden hues. Unfortunately because it wasn't a real dressing room, I had to deal with random people walking in occasionally and having gross conversations I didn't want to meddle in (and couldn't because my face was being worked on). The make up artist was absolutely lovely and amazing, and a fangirl of the play and source material it was based on (award winning short stories that will soon come out as a book) and it was just a mutual circle of admiration with me and her.
And then it was SHOWTIME!
My first time in front a live, paying audience! In a way I was less nervous than usual, because when I do lectures it's all on me? Like if I fuck up, there's no one else to take the fall. I single handedly could ruin the event. But here, I was such a small cog, it was like there was no pressure? Even if I suck, the play will still be great.
But in another way there was also that weird intense pressure of like, there is a chasm between the darkness of the backstage, where no one is looking at me, and I'm just myself wearing a froofy dress, and the bright lights of the stage, where EVERYONE is looking at me, and expecting me to be someone I'm not, and to perform in a very specific way. Say the right words and make the right movements.
But I knew I had to grit my teeth and deal with that pressure, draw from it the excitement it offers, the thing that makes performing so fun, and just grit my teeth and deal with the negative side of it. Which I did.
I stumbled a tiny bit on my very first word on stage, but immediately corrected myself, and like any form of public speaking, once I got past the first line the sense memory kicked in, the preparation, the discipline that's been drilled into me by all those rehearsals, and I was fine. On the show the next day, I didn't even have that tiny hiccup.
The audience seemed to liked me, and to laugh at the right bits, AND I hit my cues for the bit of physical comedy I did, even though the blocking wasn't ideal. I panicked for a moment when the stage wasn't set up the way it was "supposed to" when I came out, but the director later told me she couldn't even tell, and if I felt panic I certainly hit it perfectly and no one could tell anything was wrong.
Anyway, the show ended at 10pm, we did my favorite part which is coming out and taking our bows IN CHARACTER :D, to really great music, and getting to hold hands with all the other actors on stage and bow as one, and then skipping along to the wings, to get undressed and sort everything out.
Because I was excused from carrying props or costumes or bits and bobs back to the dressing room (someone else took all of my stuff, I just had to get it organized) I changed and came out to hang out with my friends, which was super amazing, and also I still had ridiculous gold make up on, lol, and had to go yet again get special attention from the make up people to have it removed.
I then hung out with friends, they were very kind in telling me how well I did and how much they liked the play, and then I went to have dinner with the cast. Which I'm VERY GLAD I DID because that was my one and only chance to do so, lol.
The one thing I was really touched by was how... at some point I ~revealed to everyone in a text message that this was my first time ever doing a play, and after that SO MANY castmates and stage workers came up to me to say they couldn't BELIEVE I was a first timer, and that I was CLEARLY A NATURAL and how they'd never imagine in a billion years I'd never done this before, and how the fact that I didn't freeze, stumble, throw up or something like that already made me AMAZING compared to most first-timers.
One actor told me he'd assumed I'd been cast late because I was a known quantity, a very good actress, and the play needed help, and so the director brought me in to augment the cast and bolster it, knowing I'd catch up in no time. He'd had no idea that I'd actually never done this before.
One of the veteran actors who apparently "never compliments anyone's acting" made a point of telling me I was amazing and clearly was meant to be doing this. Another veteran actor, when he realized what a first timer I was, started to take a much more... mentor-like role with me? And I mean, this is probably the most famous person in our cast, who regularly performs on stage, even outside of plays at cons or whatever, shows that he's in actually sell tickets at traditional venues, including abroad.
And he was just so intentional in sort of suddenly checking in on me, asking how it was going, giving me tips, sometimes serious and sometimes humorous, and just being there when I had questions or needed help. And he too told me I was very good at this, if this was my first time.
Everyone was just very kind, even when they were making jokes about how awful acting is, they were still so generous and so supportive, and I just... really hugely appreciated that, and I'd never experienced that in a theater setting.
Anyway, the dinner was really fun, and I left around half past midnight, got home at around 1am, went to sleep around 3:30 am, after taking out my contacts, wiping off the make up leftovers, showering, and despreately trying to unwind from the adrenaline.
I slept fitfully and woke up at 10am, showered, got ready, dressed for the day, and finally arrived at the con around 12:30, going straight back to the "dressing room" I was using, where the make up artist was waiting, with my costume, to get me ready for the matinee.
Thankfully I had time to stop by the con's staff lounge and grab a sandwich and some tea (which I then promptly spilled and never actually drank) because I wasn't sure when I'd be able to eat for the rest of the day.
Our make up artist had apparently been collecting all of the cast's signatures on every exposed bit of skin (arms, collarbones) and so she asked me to also sign her arms with a blue marker. I signed it "thank you for being amazing, [name], Marina". First time I signed someone's bodypart!
So, the matinee started at 2pm, I arrived literally a few minutes before curtain call. Our stage director had a note for me, based on last night's performance, which he ran by the director and then delivered to me, SEVEN MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW STARTED, and I was like, cool, I hope I manage to change that one line on the fly!
Spoiler alert, I DID MANAGE TO CHANGE IT, and act on the note, and I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT, for being able to adapt like that, probably more than I'm proud of myself for anything else lol.
A few more friends came to the 2pm show, and of course, there were a lot more kids there. It went great for me, even better than the evening show, though there were some minor fuck ups from the other cast members, but FFFF I don't care about that! As long as I did fine the play was great, as far as I'm concerned lolol.
The play started 10 minutes late and ran a little long, and so by the time it was over I was out of time, because I was already supposed to be with Sanderson for my second shift of being his escort/liaison.
Thankfully another team member covered for me while I FRANTICALLY changed out of my costume backstage (something we weren't supposed to do, but I HAD TO so other actors did as well lol /o\) and wiping off the make up with wipes I'd specifically brought from home. A friend brought me a small sandwhich, which I wolfed down even though I wasn't really hungry, but it turned out to be a GOOD MOVE because by 4:10pm I was already at Sanderson's first public signing event, utterly exhausted, still high on adrenaline, and unprepared for the madness.
I can't convey to you how long the line was, because you'd have to know the venue to get it, but suffice it to say it was BY FAR the longest autograph line the con had ever seen (and that includes the years we had GRRM, Gaiman and Orson Scott Card, before his gross opinions were common knowledge). It was absolutely madness. The line was capped pretty early on, and 90% of people were told to go away because they wouldn't be getting in, and STILL a few dozens waited outside for TWO HOURS hoping to see Sanderson.
Inside it was utter madness. Sanderson had a fantastic system to make everything efficient, but it still meant there had to be at least 3 people managing the line, and one of them was me, so I went from being on stage directly into being on my feet for 2 hours and dealing with the crowd and taking photos etc.
Afterwards Sanderson also signed for everyone who'd waited the two hours outside, which of course meant the next day an even larger crowd did the same.
Also, the line was so huge we had to keep the door to the outside open, in the room where he was signing, and it was 4pm and 29c outside, with very high humidity, and the room was PACKED with people... it's a wonder no one fainted. They managed to set up a giant fan eventually, to cool things down, but it took at least an hour when I was afraid Sanderson would melt.
After that delight (I mean, it was a delight for the fans, it just wasn't super great to work that room), we went to a fan meetup of his which was taking place at the con, so he could ~surprise people there. It was very awesome to hear everyone's screams of delight when he walked in, but less awesome that I wasn't told this would be on the schedule [rant redacted]. After about 20 minutes at the meetup we took him to a nearby venue, to a room where he could rest for a bit (lol he asked me on the first day if the con had a green room and I was like "nope, sorry! not that kind of con") and I helped sort out his wife and mom, then got him some hot water with mint and lemon for his throat, and then had about 20 minutes to myself until his next event.
At that point it was 7pm, and I hadn't yet had a proper meal, only that one sandwich in the morning and then a very small sandwich after the play. Yet again I knew I wouldn't have free time until Sanderson's events were over at 10pm, so I used this time to buy myself the nearest thing to food the nearest cafeteria had, which was a small quiche. Sat down to eat that (no tea because the cafeteria had run out of tea) and a friend noticed me, and suddenly a bunch of friends came over, and my 20 minutes of staring into space and giving myself a break turned into social time. Which was great, but also terrible.
So, I inhaled the quiche, retrieved Sanderson and took him to his next event, a panel with some local editors and authors, in the same 500 seat venue.
While the panel was going on, I busied myself with getting him and his family dinner. He'd asked for a specific food, which was hard to get in the immediate area, and I called a few higher ups at the con to ask what my options and resources were. Eventually we got it delivered, and I took it to his wife, but the whole adventure took most of the time his event was going on.
I finally came in 10 minutes before the end, and waited for him to be done. After the panel he was absolutely SWARMED by people, to the point where one of the panelists came up to me and was like, you need to get him out, this isn't a good situation. I consulted his wife, who's also his business manager, and she said to give him a few minutes to interact with fans, but after a bit I could see he himself was getting overwhelmed (at least so I thought) and I did the thing I was "hired" to do which was get the crowd to GTFO and get him safely outside.
The enthusiasm was so great, people were getting his wife and mom to sign their books, OK?
In the elevator, when it was just me and him and his family, he wondered why fans here seemed to be so... enthusiastic? And I basically had to explain the thing where Israelis have no boundaries, no concept of personal space, and will absolutely feel "rude" to anyone from... well, most of the world, but for sure North America, East Asia, or Western Europe, which were his most prominent reference points.
And then to get him out of the building I had to get him through another random block of let's say 30 or so of his fans, and let me tell you, getting three people through a crowd in a tight passage by myself was certain... a skill I'd forgotten about. I just kept yelling "excuse me, excuse me, not now please, this isn't a good time, he's gotta go" and gently and less gently pushing people aside until we were through.
So, with food in hand, I deposited everyone back at their hotel, around 10:30pm, then took care of some other administrative stuff that had to do with Sanderson's events until 11pm, and then slowly made my way home. I probably got home just after midnight, discovering I'd gotten my period, which also helped explain why I'd been feeling extra Like Shit that day.
So, awesome! Utterly exhausted AND on my period. I wiped the rest of the make up off, took out my contacts, showered, but honestly I was SO tired and wired at that point, and so out of it, I yet again didn't fall asleep until 3:30am.
I woke up the next day 10:45, and slowly started working through the haze to get my shit together, and make it to the con for the my first panel at 2pm. There was NO FOOD in the house, though I tried to make eggs, because I needed to eat because I needed to take painkillers.
So, feeling super sluggish and exhausted, I got to the con JUST IN TIME, and literally walked into the room at 2:00pm on the dot, when of course I was supposed to be there early. It was a panel of female authors talking about their works (technically "about spoilers and fanfics" or whatever, with a bunch of people on stage who'd never read a fic in their lives), and the crowd was small but very invested and enthusiastic.
I felt very slow and muted, but I think I performed well. Afterwards I got my first glimpse of the printed anthology in which one of my stories just came out, translated from Hebrew to English. One of the other authors asked me to sign her copy, and I realized it was 4pm on the last day of the con and I hadn't yet picked up my copies!
After the panel I went to take care of all of this stuff. To pick up books and put them in my car, to check on the books I'd given to the second-hand market to sell for me, to get a proper sandwich from the staff lounge and make myself a fucking cup of tea. To wander around the con and look at the dealers who were selling beautiful things and wonder about what I could afford to buy.
My next event was at 8pm.
I was determined to be on time for it, so around 7:30pm I went back to the staff lounge for a cup of tea to take into the venue with me, but before I could make I was approached by a much younger staff member who I sorta-kinda know who needed help because something had just happened to her and she was really shaken and she felt violated and angry and needed to talk to the con's sexual harassment prevention team and I was the first Responsible Adult she saw and recognized and she needed my help.
At first I didn't realize how serious this was, I thought she just needed to talk to that team to consult them about something, but then it became clear she was very distraught. So I scrambled to find their phone number (which is plastered all over the con and in the future I'll just input into my phone) and told her to call them, knowing full well they'll take care of her.
But a moment later she came to find me to say no one was answering at the number (which was weird, because the phone is held by whoever is on call at that moment) and I tried to think of who I knew on the team who I could call right then and ask for help (at the staff briefing before the con we were all told - DO NOT try to handle potential cases of harassment on your own, just stabilize the situation and offer general comfort until a member of the right team arrives). So, I called the head of the Israeli SFF Association lol, and she picked up and I described the situation and said I needed help, and she said someone was on the way.
So I sat with this girl, gave her a glass of water, she kept apologizing for taking up my time, I kept telling her there's nothing to apologize for, and we could just sit here in silence if she wanted to just think and regroup and be with herself, or we could talk about stuff, she could ask me questions or I could tell her things, whatever she wanted, we had all the time in the world.
Finally a staff member arrived, but it was, of course, the director of my play, my friend, who was supposed to be on a panel with me in a few minutes!! I didn't understand WHY she was sent to take care of this, of all people, though I assume she just insisted to be the one to take care of it, which she needs to STOP DOING god, because they're a fairly large team and she really doesn't need to pull so many shifts.
Anyway, I left them to talk, because that's the protocol, and went to the venue for my last panel. Where I explained where our missing panelist was to everyone.
Eventually we got her back, just in time, as the case was passed on to someone else for handling.
The panel was about fanfic! and it was pretty good. Everyone else on the panel were either people who hadn't read fanfic in ages, or people who are lurkers and so were never an active part of my corner of fandom, but it was still fun and I managed to let go and also function despite being utterly braindead. According to
roga the response in the audience was overall very favorable, although of course in the front row, right in front me, sat down two (I'm presuming straight) dudes who made faces and disgusted noises throughout until the panelists invited them to leave and/or shut the fuck up.
Honestly as the youngest person on the panel, and the least experienced with cons, it was really cool to be on stage with three women who were very willing and able to control even the biggest asshole in a crowd, including kicking them out if necessary.
I still remember a different panel with a similar make up, where a dude in the front row kept throwing random comments at us, and one of my fellow panelists told him if he opened his mouth again she'd have him removed from the room, without missing a beat, in middle of an unrelated point she was making. It was awe inspiring.
Anyway, after the panel we went out to eat, MY FIRST PROPER MEAL OF THE CON. I was like, I DON'T CARE, GIVE ME ALL THE REAL FOOD, FEED ME STEAK. I deliberately wanted to go to one of the nicer restaurants around, to have REAL FOOD, and was not disappointing. Eating meat at 11pm on the other hand, was absolutely atrocious. I usually don't eat anything that heavy after 7pm and there are REASONS WHY. I can't fall asleep afterwards and feel like crap overall.
But I was honestly SO DESPERATELY for real food, omg. So, we hung out, ate, talked, until about 1:30am, at which point we dispersed.
Mostly I really, really needed to process everything, especially the play, and having my director at the table, and other production participants stopping by, was really great. It helped take away some of that stoppered grief of it being over forever and me not knowing how to handle that. (I'm not the only one! At least one other actor has also been very upset about this.)
I got home around 2:10am, showered, changed, went to sleep at 4am, and woke up just after noon the next day.
Today I've basically been a zombie, as you can expect.
And oh, fuck my life, it's 2:30am again, and I still need to shower, and then go with
roga to watch her perform with her choir and spend the whole day... very far from home.
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