Death
I don't like death... If it were up to me, only assholes would die and everyone else would stick around until they felt like going.
We went to Bill's funeral on Saturday. The line wrapped around the funeral home.... It was almost like going to a museum. They had one of his race car tires, a checkered flag and a gas can sitting right inside the funeral home. There were a couple of different photo collages. Dustin told me he was being creamated, but he was still there.... I hate looking at dead bodies. I want to remember people as they were alive.... It didn't even look like him, but now every time I think about him I see him lying in that casket.... And he's so tall, it looked like the casket wasn't big enough and he was stuffed in there.
I just don't understand why shit like this has to happen.... And I feel horrible, that because of me, Dustin barely got to spend time with Bill this past summer.... It's not that I wouldn't let him, whenever he wanted to go to the races, or go work on the race car I encouraged him to go.... But we were so busy with the wedding, and the honeymoon and buying the house and moving. :( Now he's gone, and Dustin is missing a friend.
It's so weird how things work... Bill was in my class in school, but we never hung out. Once Dustin and I started dating, he would take me to the race shop, and to races and we would hang out with Bill, and I was amazed that here was this guy that I never got to know in school, and he's one of the nicest guys. (Not surprising since Dustin is THE nicest guy I've ever met which is why I love him so much.)
I'm rambling, I know... I'm just feeling really bummed, and half of my friend's myspaces have these big "RIP BILLY" pictures and stuff all over them.
It's so unfair I could just scream.
We went to Bill's funeral on Saturday. The line wrapped around the funeral home.... It was almost like going to a museum. They had one of his race car tires, a checkered flag and a gas can sitting right inside the funeral home. There were a couple of different photo collages. Dustin told me he was being creamated, but he was still there.... I hate looking at dead bodies. I want to remember people as they were alive.... It didn't even look like him, but now every time I think about him I see him lying in that casket.... And he's so tall, it looked like the casket wasn't big enough and he was stuffed in there.
I just don't understand why shit like this has to happen.... And I feel horrible, that because of me, Dustin barely got to spend time with Bill this past summer.... It's not that I wouldn't let him, whenever he wanted to go to the races, or go work on the race car I encouraged him to go.... But we were so busy with the wedding, and the honeymoon and buying the house and moving. :( Now he's gone, and Dustin is missing a friend.
It's so weird how things work... Bill was in my class in school, but we never hung out. Once Dustin and I started dating, he would take me to the race shop, and to races and we would hang out with Bill, and I was amazed that here was this guy that I never got to know in school, and he's one of the nicest guys. (Not surprising since Dustin is THE nicest guy I've ever met which is why I love him so much.)
I'm rambling, I know... I'm just feeling really bummed, and half of my friend's myspaces have these big "RIP BILLY" pictures and stuff all over them.
It's so unfair I could just scream.