One can never tell for sure
Ever reach that point in your life where you wake up and go "I'm old, everyone thinks I did so much in my life but I don't feel like I did shit, what am I doing?" Well I did. It hit me like a ton of bricks a few days ago. You know what? after all this time, after everything I've been through, the thought, "I can die", has never seriously crossed my mind. I mean, I've thought "I might die" many many times, but it never sank in that yes, absolutely, I can die at any given moment now. Maybe I need to up my medication or something similar, or maybe I'm just being depressed about all the good things I've fucked up in my lifetime. Then again, maybe I was just young and naive before and should take this shit more seriously. I'm kind of at a loss here, and hate being like that. I'll leave you with that wonderful heart warming thought for now kiddies, good hope.