BRAG, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Swiping this idea from flemco. Stop crying about how life sucks and tell me why you're fucking awesome. Like right now. I wanna see some awesome fucking people in this post's comments. Anonymous posting disabled because only dorks comment anonymously on LJs.
I'll start.
* I'm highly intelligent and proud of it, to the point where intellectual laziness confuses and offends me.
* I sing well, within my range (tenor).
* I can strip a computer down, build it back up, and it'll work the first time or else I'll know why.
* I can figure out how to work anything.
* Ranked 39th worldwide on the Xbox Live leaderboards for Ghostbusters: The Video Game... and still climbing! (I'm Saborlas there, too)
* I have a strong grasp of the English language that just keeps getting better.
* I can read under any conditions. This includes sitting in the rear-facing back seat of a station wagon.
* If I have my Bag of Holding with me, I'm prepared for just about anything from boredom to stains to a lack of TP.
* I'm a damn good cook, and my Mad Culinary Science experiments frequently end up as meals that by all means shouldn't taste as good as they do.
* I'm not one of those candyass wusses who thinks that "well done" is the proper way to do a steak (seriously, order a Filet Mignon "well done" in my presence and I will fucking smack you). Anything beyond medium rare is ruining it. If you're a candyass wuss who orders steak well done, I'll order mine blue rare just to fuck with you. And A1 is CPR for ruined steak, not the default condiment.
* For the first time in my life, I have biceps. And triceps. The Hundred Pushups plan was a great starting point to getting back in shape.
* When I want to be, I am ninja-silent.
* I possess the rare ability to keep my religious views to myself (it's none of your fucking biz, seriously).
* I am writing a novel. Tolstoy it ain't, I'm more inspired by Eddings (the man kept rehashing the same damn plot but DAMN could he make interesting characters!). This novel will eventually entertain many people.
* I built up common sense by grabbing little tidbits of advice like XP and leveled up like a mofo.
* I can still rattle off the Konami code, and can tell you where you're doing it wrong (only one "B,A" in there, sparky). As a matter of fact, my knowledge of obsolete games is downright encyclopedic.
* When I want to, I can move FAST. After hearing my girlfriend of the time fall down some stairs, a friend reported me practically TELEPORTING down those stairs. He maintains the opinion that I arrived at the bottom of the stairs before she did.
* I give excellent foot massages. The trick is to really work the thumbs in there.
* I can tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke, and it surprises me that others cannot. Pepsi tastes vaguely of citrus, Coke has a heavy vanilla aftertaste.
* Pets just LOVE me. Got a cat? It'll be all over me. Dog? Always wagging when I show up. Goldfish? Get that shit outta my face and come back when you have a REAL pet.
* I'm hilarious when I get on a roll. I oughta try stand up comedy.
* My Awesomeburgers are the best damn burgers anyone ever tasted. I even got some soymeat and made one for my vegetarian little sister and she fucking LOVED the everliving SHIT out of it. Bullshit hamburger "purists" may mock my use of ingredients beyond beef, salt, and pepper, but no one who has tried an Awesomeburger has regretted it.
* I raise money for kids with cancer. See, I'm a member of the New England Ghostbusters, and we will be at ConnectiCon on July 9th - 11th taking donations for St. Jude's Research Hospital for Children. I'm the guy with the long hair (usually in ponytail unless I'm trying the Fabio look). We have a portable containment unit, come check us out. Help us meet our goal of a thousand dollars (we made $400 at Boston Comic-Con, which was only two days and MUCH smaller). Watch as the 501st Legion gets completely outdone so bad, they'll call in the guy with the full-size remote control R2-D2 to get any attention. And we will subvert him again. Mwa ha ha.
I'll start.
* I'm highly intelligent and proud of it, to the point where intellectual laziness confuses and offends me.
* I sing well, within my range (tenor).
* I can strip a computer down, build it back up, and it'll work the first time or else I'll know why.
* I can figure out how to work anything.
* Ranked 39th worldwide on the Xbox Live leaderboards for Ghostbusters: The Video Game... and still climbing! (I'm Saborlas there, too)
* I have a strong grasp of the English language that just keeps getting better.
* I can read under any conditions. This includes sitting in the rear-facing back seat of a station wagon.
* If I have my Bag of Holding with me, I'm prepared for just about anything from boredom to stains to a lack of TP.
* I'm a damn good cook, and my Mad Culinary Science experiments frequently end up as meals that by all means shouldn't taste as good as they do.
* I'm not one of those candyass wusses who thinks that "well done" is the proper way to do a steak (seriously, order a Filet Mignon "well done" in my presence and I will fucking smack you). Anything beyond medium rare is ruining it. If you're a candyass wuss who orders steak well done, I'll order mine blue rare just to fuck with you. And A1 is CPR for ruined steak, not the default condiment.
* For the first time in my life, I have biceps. And triceps. The Hundred Pushups plan was a great starting point to getting back in shape.
* When I want to be, I am ninja-silent.
* I possess the rare ability to keep my religious views to myself (it's none of your fucking biz, seriously).
* I am writing a novel. Tolstoy it ain't, I'm more inspired by Eddings (the man kept rehashing the same damn plot but DAMN could he make interesting characters!). This novel will eventually entertain many people.
* I built up common sense by grabbing little tidbits of advice like XP and leveled up like a mofo.
* I can still rattle off the Konami code, and can tell you where you're doing it wrong (only one "B,A" in there, sparky). As a matter of fact, my knowledge of obsolete games is downright encyclopedic.
* When I want to, I can move FAST. After hearing my girlfriend of the time fall down some stairs, a friend reported me practically TELEPORTING down those stairs. He maintains the opinion that I arrived at the bottom of the stairs before she did.
* I give excellent foot massages. The trick is to really work the thumbs in there.
* I can tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke, and it surprises me that others cannot. Pepsi tastes vaguely of citrus, Coke has a heavy vanilla aftertaste.
* Pets just LOVE me. Got a cat? It'll be all over me. Dog? Always wagging when I show up. Goldfish? Get that shit outta my face and come back when you have a REAL pet.
* I'm hilarious when I get on a roll. I oughta try stand up comedy.
* My Awesomeburgers are the best damn burgers anyone ever tasted. I even got some soymeat and made one for my vegetarian little sister and she fucking LOVED the everliving SHIT out of it. Bullshit hamburger "purists" may mock my use of ingredients beyond beef, salt, and pepper, but no one who has tried an Awesomeburger has regretted it.
* I raise money for kids with cancer. See, I'm a member of the New England Ghostbusters, and we will be at ConnectiCon on July 9th - 11th taking donations for St. Jude's Research Hospital for Children. I'm the guy with the long hair (usually in ponytail unless I'm trying the Fabio look). We have a portable containment unit, come check us out. Help us meet our goal of a thousand dollars (we made $400 at Boston Comic-Con, which was only two days and MUCH smaller). Watch as the 501st Legion gets completely outdone so bad, they'll call in the guy with the full-size remote control R2-D2 to get any attention. And we will subvert him again. Mwa ha ha.