school
so yeah, my life is fucked up! I've been up and down all week with emotions, and school and everything. Fuck it all, why can't i just get away from here, fall away into the music... and drift away and never have to come back to any of this shit, from this world. ug, so it's friday, yeah i spent like 7 hours trying to figure out chemistry last night, fucked that test really good, i mean i left two thirds blank! I got home my mom said she talked to the head councelor and i'm not able to drop the class. So i'm stuck in it, and my mom before i even got home today took her bright fucking ideas and went and made a fucking appointment with Pfaff!! I mean jesus! she doesn't fucking think, i told her just to talk to the councelors and she comes up with this fucking brilliant idea! thanks! Gosh, there is nothing Pfaff can help me with, or tell me that he already hasn't! It's up to me now... gosh and she just spent like the last half hour talking with me and discussing what my problem might be, and like she wants me to watch that fucking long ass video on studying skills or shit like that. i just don't want to have to put up with this bull, i'll i need to do is push myself. If i could get some motivation to push myself i could do things... maybe... i mean i can only force myself to go on for so long... and last night i was near cracking... I don't want to deal with this shitty world any more... it too much of a waste. Deadlines, time limits, it's all stupid, life is too short for all this bullcrap, they just need to let you deal with the world at your own pace, and maybe we'd all be better off! Where's sara? I want to talk to her... she'll probably be on later this afternoon, i mean i did get home a lot earlier than usual because it was a half day, she'll probably be on at the regular time. I need to go sailing, i need to go biking, i need to play my drums, i need to go out, i need to make some money, i need to not be in debt, i need atleast 30 hours in the day, and only need to sleep 8, i need someone special... I need to have some joy to life, well i do, that's sara right now, but i mean i need more than just one person who makes me happy, i need things that i'm doing. I'm done here. whatever, no one should read this.
~PUSH~
~PUSH~