The busier the better

[sablinovia]

Once she and John had returned from Africa, Silver was thrown back into the thick of things. And she got cranky very quickly when she learned Lorna had brought Uncle Morty back on board in her absence. It also galled Silver that her father supported the move and questioned why Mortimer had been dismissed in the first place. Added onto this her time

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[clericpreston]

He noted her shaky start. He couldn't attribute it to the minor injury she had, so it must have been linked to him and this conversation. He wanted to sigh again, but didn't. He held her hand in his and braced her at the bend of her elbow with his other hand. Fortunately, there were short cuts to her room

[sablinovia]

Well, that was a lot of information all at once. She sat quietly and focused on what he was saying. It would be easier than teetering off into mini-hysterics. Because she had pushed and made him uncomfortable. And that never boded well for her.

Though that was pushed to the back of her mind as she quietly took in what had been left out of his personnel file. Why could one man be so frustrating and endearing at the same time?

"Oh." She said. It felt paltry next to all of his explanation. If it came to a choice of pushing John or keeping him, Silver would choose the latter. "I... apologize. I didn't mean to make you so uncomfortable."

Considering her annoyance had been minor in comparison.

[clericpreston]

John felt like his skull was rattling. That had been unspeakably uncomfortable and strangely calming at the same time. He suspected that must be what 'scream therapy' felt like. He took a deep breath and released it in a sigh. Somehow, he had managed to not really help things even with all that. Words. He hated them, sometimes.

"I didn't say any of this to make you feel bad or shut you up or whatever you may be thinking." Because, at this point, he had no idea. "I want you to understand why I don't know what to do to keep a relationship alive. That is what scares me. Not you or anything you have or haven't done. When I have held back in a relationship, it made problems. When I have laid myself bare, the relationships ended."

"Will that happen with us? I hope with everything that I am that it doesn't. And I would do anything to make sure of that. But, I don't know what to do. I'm open to suggestion..." He spread his hands wide in a helpless gesture.

[sablinovia]

"I know why you were telling me this. It was an explanation. Which made everything about your past clearer." She glanced down at her hands. Normally calm and placid, she couldn't stop wringing them softly. The last time she had been like this, she had married Basil. Thankfully, she was a bit less impetuous at this time.

"I don't want this relationship to end. I want to be with you, John. And I need you to be the man I know you are. Not the one you think was dumped by one lover. Or the man dumped by the other lover. I want you to trust that I won't be disgusted by the man I love. Since you are the one person I trust more than any other."

Some days, Silver hated words, too. Because she wasn't sure if she was saying anything right.

[clericpreston]

He moved to sit on the couch beside her. He was tired of sitting alone. His arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. Then he did sigh, finally. Why couldn't things just be easy?

"What happens if I do ask for something you find repulsive? Don't say it won't happen... just suppose. What then?"

[sablinovia]

Silver curled into him. Today had been a failure. On her part more than anyone else's. She needed the comfort of his body there. Warmth to chase away the chill.

"Well, just because you do something repulsive does not make you yourself repulsive. More than one action defines a man. I would let you know of my distaste without pulling away, and we would work at a compromise if one was needed."

Well, it sounded logical. if he did something repulsive, she would probably be too stunned to feel anything anyway.

[clericpreston]

He wrapped his other arm around her and rested his cheek against the top of her head. He felt tired and wrung out, now. What was worse was that he wasn't sure anything was getting resolved, the more they talked.

It, at least, didn't seem to be getting any worse.

"So what do we do now?" He asked softly.

[sablinovia]

"I don't know. I let my frustrations get the better of me, and I've created a giant cock-up." Okay, so her language wasn't always peachy keen. Where the hell was the universal restart button?

She slipped an arm around his waist and closed her eyes. "What do you feel we need to do?"

[clericpreston]

"I'm sorry I've helped frustrate you. I don't try to. But, I seem to have a knack for being frustrating." He chuckled wryly.

He leaned on her for a few minutes and tried to process everything that had happened. If he had any clear idea what to do, they probably wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

"I don't know. I'll try harder. Try to ask for things during sex."

[sablinovia]

"I know you don't do it on purpose." She kept her eyes closed for a moment longer. It was just comforting being beside him. She hadn't had many of these moments after they returned from vacation.

"You can ask anything of me. In or out of bed." They would probably need a little time before he asked for anything she had a feeling. For now, she just wanted him here with her.

[clericpreston]

He wasn't in any hurry to move. She could stay as long as she wanted. At some point, he would have to call his family. But, that was as simple as reaching into his pocket for his phone. No need to move hardly at all.

"I'm not entirely sure what I want, anymore... in bed. That's part of the problem. Out of is easy. I want this relationship to continue."

[sablinovia]

"This relationship will continue," she assured. She had no plans to give him up. Especially right at this moment. "Well, in bed, we can start simple. I assume you would still want me there. We can move slow with any other additions. To see what you like and what you don't."

Also, how much his previous lovers had ruined things for him.

[clericpreston]

"I still want you there." That part was easy. He had half expected it all to end tonight. It was a pleasant surprise to discover that he had been wrong about that.

He kissed the top of her head and hugged her a little tighter for a moment. Now that the initial discomfort of the conversation was over, he was starting to relax. If it all did blow up, it wouldn't be right this very moment. He could breathe.

[sablinovia]

"Good. Because those sheets would get cold waiting for a man who didn't want me if you don't." Since she tended to sleep in silk, satin, or other high-end fabric type sheets, they didn't hold body heat terribly well. Silver held onto him for a few minutes more before pushing away.

"You should call your family. And I should get out of these."

[clericpreston]

"I wouldn't let you get cold. I like you warm and close."

He nodded when she pushed back. The sooner he got the call over with, the sooner he could lay down and not have to get back up again. For a few blissful hours, anyway.

While she changed, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number home. Alison answered and John could hear Longshot's voice along with two fussy babies in the background. He told her that he would not be home tonight and made her promise to give both the babies a kiss form their grandpa before he hung up.

[sablinovia]

Silver disappeared into her closet and stripped out of her sweaty and bloody clothes. She didn't bother getting into anything else. The only person who would see her for the rest of the day was John. She put her clothing into a pile to be grabbed later and walked out into the bedroom.

Hmm. There was a draft somewhere.