Five so far!
One of my goals for 2016 is to beat last year's tally of 79 books reviewed ... off to a decent start with:
Amazing Punk Stories
Cut Corners I and II (the HFR only ran the II part, since they'd already covered Vol. I)
The Midnight Creature Feature Picture Show
plus, backlist bonus, two from 2011:
A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee
I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter by Carlton Mellick III
Title: Amazing Punk Stories
Author: David Agranoff
Publisher: Deadite Press
Website: www.deaditepress.com
A collection of punk horror horrorpunk, this is one big book of mosh pits, ink, mohawks, tattoos, and rebellion. The stories span a gamut of genres and settings, from far-future sci-fi to Lovecraftian, post-apocalyptic to Cold War, zombies, supernatural, grindhouse splatter … with elements of romance, western, cyberpunk (what else?), family, and faith.
Now, admittedly, I know practically zilch about punk. Of the real bands mentioned, I’d heard of maybe two or three, so I sure wasn’t going to be able to guess which were made up by the author - he kindly includes a list in the appendix. My ignorance of the music did not, however, stop me from enjoying the stories.
My personal faves of the bunch are “Tasha and the Fountain,” in which an old lady is given a second chance at a new life, the delightfully over-the-top “Blacker Than The Darkest Night Of The E-Vile Souls,” as a guy takes on a new gig with a band very serious about their Satanic goals, and the clever twists of “Reunion Show.”
Other bits that particularly shine include the chilling end of “Born Again,” the opening line and gooshy descriptions in “Best Of, At The End Of,” and the sheer horror-movie fun contrasts of “Book Your Own F***ing Life” and “The Last Show At The Mortuary Collective.”
**
Title: Cut Corners I and II
Publisher: Sinister Grin
Website: www.sinistergrinpress.com
Ramsey Campbell. Bentley Little. Ray Garton. Monica O’Rourke. Shane McKenzie.
Any ONE of those authors would more than make grabbing these books worthwhile, and the five of them contributing a total of six stories? Definitely not to be missed! I’m not even sure what more there is to say. I mean, we’re talking top-notch talents here, some of the genre’s best.
Including a double-dose of Garton, whose “Autophagy” in the first volume may have been meant semi-satirically but hits way too close to Orwellian home-truths for comfort … and whose “A Flat And Dreary Monday Night” DOES hit way too close to home, based as it is on actual events (mostly, only mostly, we hope).
Ramsey Campbell’s “The Address” has the sensation of living one of those half-lucid dreams, where you know just enough to realize how lost you are, and how inescapable the growing sense of desperation becomes. “Conversation Overheard Between Two Women At My Dentist’s Office” is probably the longest title a Bentley Little tale will ever see, but it really adds to the demented dialogue-only fun.
I’ve yet to read anything by Monica O’Rourke that doesn’t leave me wincing and flinching in many unspeakable ways, and “Exposed” continues that squickworthy trend. Shane McKenzie, in “Bleeding Rainbows,” takes a slightly more paranormal and philosophical turn, though rest assured there’s still plenty of satisfying gore.
So yeah, get these books, read them, support them. This is a series I’d love to see continue!
**
Title: The Midnight Creature Feature Picture Show
Author: David C. Hayes
Publisher: Crowded Quarantine Publications
Website: http://www.crowdedquarantine.co.uk/
The concept of this collection, nearly a chronological chronicle of homages to many of the schlockiest of the shlock - from Universal classics to biker-babe-sploitation, zombies, alien abductions, sword-and-sandal manliness, fetish porn - is sheer fun, and the stories themselves back it up in all respects but one.
Hate to say it, but I have to; EDITOR, stat! Especially in a collection, when most of the pieces have been previously published and presumably run past a few sets of eyes, it’s hard to overlook. Maybe I’m just too picky (this should not be a surprise to anyone), but it did make me nearly give up on this book, more than once.
But only nearly. As mentioned above, the sheer fun-factor and concept drew me back in enough to stick with it. A vampire who runs a comedy club … how far would a method actor go for the sake of a role … hippies vs. hellcats … the mysterious creature living in the wooded foothills … sex and violence, blood and guts and gore … yeah. It’s a lot of fun.
If I had to pick one fave from the batch, I’d probably need to go with “Barbarians! Savage Sword of King Conrad: Genesis” for its complete shamelessness and the hilarious enjoyability of the voice. There are also plenty of terrific turns of phrase, crazy characters, and awesomely done descriptions throughout. It just needed one more good solid edit-pass.
**
Title: A Town Called Suckhole
Author: David Barbee
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Website: www.eraserheadpress.com
This is maybe not the best book to be reading given the current political climate … the idea of a post-apocalyptic yee-haw redneck ‘Merica should be intended as a JOKE, as a PARODY. It’s like poor Jon Stewart spending years and years reminding us he’s supposed to be a comedian, not the most trusted newsman on television.
So, unless you want a downright chilling nightmare vision of the future, try not to read this book in that sense. Try to read it as the complete gonzo trashtacular piece of good ol’ boy gross-out hilarity it’s meant to be, and you’ll have a lot more fun.
The story, basically, is that there’s this sole surviving town, built of shacks and trailers, populated by hillbillies and mutant critters, surrounded by swamps and wastelands, and as if that’s not enough, there’s a murderer on the loose. The local law, wanting to try and solve a crime for a change, has to enlist the help of a marsh-dwelling legend.
Imagine every Southern stereotype and caricature distilled down to the mule-kickest moonshine ever there was, quadruple that, set it on fire, and splash it directly onto the raw wound of your brain. That’s what reading this book is like.
**
Title: I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Website: www.eraserheadpress.com
A Demonic Romantic Comedy, it says, and it is, and why is this not a movie yet? It’d be an awesome movie. It was written to be a movie. It deliberately and perfectly follows the rom-com formula! I mean, except for the parts where people get slaughtered, but, bah, details, details.
Jonathan is your typical bumbling but endearing goof … uh … well … okay really he’s a weirdo loser who lives in a house he built for himself out of Lego bricks.
Lici is your typical manic pixie dream girl … no, wait, she’s a succubus, but not a very good one, much too innocent and adorkable for proper diabolical hijinks.
Their relationship is off to the usual rocky start and faces the usual obstacles - she’s pregnant and ready to get married, he doesn’t even remember her, neither of them has a job, his family are religious nuts, hers are infernal demons, that sort of thing.
A devilishly delightful twist on the trope, proving yet again (as if we’ve ever needed more proof) that Carlton Mellick III can take damn near anything and make it awesomer.
**
Coming soon, reviews of: All Souls Day, Reincarnage, Ghost in the Cogs, Skullcrack City, I Will Rot Without You, Paper Tigers, None So Deaf, Monsters Don't Cry, Coin For Charon, Undead Fleshcrave, and more!
Amazing Punk Stories
Cut Corners I and II (the HFR only ran the II part, since they'd already covered Vol. I)
The Midnight Creature Feature Picture Show
plus, backlist bonus, two from 2011:
A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee
I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter by Carlton Mellick III
Title: Amazing Punk Stories
Author: David Agranoff
Publisher: Deadite Press
Website: www.deaditepress.com
A collection of punk horror horrorpunk, this is one big book of mosh pits, ink, mohawks, tattoos, and rebellion. The stories span a gamut of genres and settings, from far-future sci-fi to Lovecraftian, post-apocalyptic to Cold War, zombies, supernatural, grindhouse splatter … with elements of romance, western, cyberpunk (what else?), family, and faith.
Now, admittedly, I know practically zilch about punk. Of the real bands mentioned, I’d heard of maybe two or three, so I sure wasn’t going to be able to guess which were made up by the author - he kindly includes a list in the appendix. My ignorance of the music did not, however, stop me from enjoying the stories.
My personal faves of the bunch are “Tasha and the Fountain,” in which an old lady is given a second chance at a new life, the delightfully over-the-top “Blacker Than The Darkest Night Of The E-Vile Souls,” as a guy takes on a new gig with a band very serious about their Satanic goals, and the clever twists of “Reunion Show.”
Other bits that particularly shine include the chilling end of “Born Again,” the opening line and gooshy descriptions in “Best Of, At The End Of,” and the sheer horror-movie fun contrasts of “Book Your Own F***ing Life” and “The Last Show At The Mortuary Collective.”
**
Title: Cut Corners I and II
Publisher: Sinister Grin
Website: www.sinistergrinpress.com
Ramsey Campbell. Bentley Little. Ray Garton. Monica O’Rourke. Shane McKenzie.
Any ONE of those authors would more than make grabbing these books worthwhile, and the five of them contributing a total of six stories? Definitely not to be missed! I’m not even sure what more there is to say. I mean, we’re talking top-notch talents here, some of the genre’s best.
Including a double-dose of Garton, whose “Autophagy” in the first volume may have been meant semi-satirically but hits way too close to Orwellian home-truths for comfort … and whose “A Flat And Dreary Monday Night” DOES hit way too close to home, based as it is on actual events (mostly, only mostly, we hope).
Ramsey Campbell’s “The Address” has the sensation of living one of those half-lucid dreams, where you know just enough to realize how lost you are, and how inescapable the growing sense of desperation becomes. “Conversation Overheard Between Two Women At My Dentist’s Office” is probably the longest title a Bentley Little tale will ever see, but it really adds to the demented dialogue-only fun.
I’ve yet to read anything by Monica O’Rourke that doesn’t leave me wincing and flinching in many unspeakable ways, and “Exposed” continues that squickworthy trend. Shane McKenzie, in “Bleeding Rainbows,” takes a slightly more paranormal and philosophical turn, though rest assured there’s still plenty of satisfying gore.
So yeah, get these books, read them, support them. This is a series I’d love to see continue!
**
Title: The Midnight Creature Feature Picture Show
Author: David C. Hayes
Publisher: Crowded Quarantine Publications
Website: http://www.crowdedquarantine.co.uk/
The concept of this collection, nearly a chronological chronicle of homages to many of the schlockiest of the shlock - from Universal classics to biker-babe-sploitation, zombies, alien abductions, sword-and-sandal manliness, fetish porn - is sheer fun, and the stories themselves back it up in all respects but one.
Hate to say it, but I have to; EDITOR, stat! Especially in a collection, when most of the pieces have been previously published and presumably run past a few sets of eyes, it’s hard to overlook. Maybe I’m just too picky (this should not be a surprise to anyone), but it did make me nearly give up on this book, more than once.
But only nearly. As mentioned above, the sheer fun-factor and concept drew me back in enough to stick with it. A vampire who runs a comedy club … how far would a method actor go for the sake of a role … hippies vs. hellcats … the mysterious creature living in the wooded foothills … sex and violence, blood and guts and gore … yeah. It’s a lot of fun.
If I had to pick one fave from the batch, I’d probably need to go with “Barbarians! Savage Sword of King Conrad: Genesis” for its complete shamelessness and the hilarious enjoyability of the voice. There are also plenty of terrific turns of phrase, crazy characters, and awesomely done descriptions throughout. It just needed one more good solid edit-pass.
**
Title: A Town Called Suckhole
Author: David Barbee
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Website: www.eraserheadpress.com
This is maybe not the best book to be reading given the current political climate … the idea of a post-apocalyptic yee-haw redneck ‘Merica should be intended as a JOKE, as a PARODY. It’s like poor Jon Stewart spending years and years reminding us he’s supposed to be a comedian, not the most trusted newsman on television.
So, unless you want a downright chilling nightmare vision of the future, try not to read this book in that sense. Try to read it as the complete gonzo trashtacular piece of good ol’ boy gross-out hilarity it’s meant to be, and you’ll have a lot more fun.
The story, basically, is that there’s this sole surviving town, built of shacks and trailers, populated by hillbillies and mutant critters, surrounded by swamps and wastelands, and as if that’s not enough, there’s a murderer on the loose. The local law, wanting to try and solve a crime for a change, has to enlist the help of a marsh-dwelling legend.
Imagine every Southern stereotype and caricature distilled down to the mule-kickest moonshine ever there was, quadruple that, set it on fire, and splash it directly onto the raw wound of your brain. That’s what reading this book is like.
**
Title: I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Website: www.eraserheadpress.com
A Demonic Romantic Comedy, it says, and it is, and why is this not a movie yet? It’d be an awesome movie. It was written to be a movie. It deliberately and perfectly follows the rom-com formula! I mean, except for the parts where people get slaughtered, but, bah, details, details.
Jonathan is your typical bumbling but endearing goof … uh … well … okay really he’s a weirdo loser who lives in a house he built for himself out of Lego bricks.
Lici is your typical manic pixie dream girl … no, wait, she’s a succubus, but not a very good one, much too innocent and adorkable for proper diabolical hijinks.
Their relationship is off to the usual rocky start and faces the usual obstacles - she’s pregnant and ready to get married, he doesn’t even remember her, neither of them has a job, his family are religious nuts, hers are infernal demons, that sort of thing.
A devilishly delightful twist on the trope, proving yet again (as if we’ve ever needed more proof) that Carlton Mellick III can take damn near anything and make it awesomer.
**
Coming soon, reviews of: All Souls Day, Reincarnage, Ghost in the Cogs, Skullcrack City, I Will Rot Without You, Paper Tigers, None So Deaf, Monsters Don't Cry, Coin For Charon, Undead Fleshcrave, and more!