Mutter...
Mm. Mom came downstairs...started yelling at people. I bid her good morning, and tried to cheer her up, offer a hug, perhaps calm her down...
She just told me to fuck off--and there're crumbs on the counter. Clean them up.
...growl.
Just wanted to make her feel better. Ergh. Help her. Cheer her up, damnit.
Fuck. Why the fuck do I care anymore? Why do I even give that bitch the time of day?
The timing of my CD player was perfect, though. "Mutter" started playing when she told me to fuck off.
Hmm.
She does nothing but upset everyone in this fucking house. And then she expects everyone else to be alright and okay. She gets even angrier because we're upset that she's mad at us for no reason.
She just fucking screams all the fucking time.
I'd love to scream, too...
Scream and make sure you keep it quiet...
A year more. Slightly less than that. Can I keep it down for another year...?
Fuck. Can I get out of here in a year?
Gawddamnit... All my fucking hopes are beginning to unravel before I actually see their fucking deaths. Watching everything I've ever wanted in the next year slowly fall away to nothing. I won't be able to leave in a year--I won't have the money. I don't have a job to save much money from. I can't move in with Jea right after I turn eighteen--her house is too small. Raiee has a little brother now--and her parents wouldn't enjoy my company too much, I think. Erin's parents--I can hear the flat-out "no." Charlie's parents would be the same way (and I don't know how much of each other Charlie and I could possibly take).
Kayt said I can move up to her place. That's the greatest possibility, yeah. Though, I'll need plenty of money to get myself and my stuff up there.
And even when I do move out, I loose my cat. Motherchild wants to keep the cat that she got me for my fucking fifteenth birthday. She doesn't even like him all that much! She's constantly bitching about how he sheds, how he keeps jumping on the furniture she doesn't want him on... Constantly. Fucking. Bitching. About. My. Cat. But she wants to keep him! She says that he's become the family's pet! FUCK! Y'know what?! For the first year that I had Zell, I paid for all his vet bills, kitty litter, and food! I didn't have a stable job--I babysat kids, for fuck's sake. She would pay the vet bill initially, but I would give her money to make up for it. Hundreds of fucking dollars. I paid back every fucking cent. After a while, she said I didn't have to. She said I'd paid enough--he was my fucking cat.
HE'S MY CAT.
...fucking hate that woman.
But I guess I should be fucking grateful that I still have a mom. Pretty fucking horrible of me to sit here and complain about her--when I do, indeed, still have her...
...augh.
She just told me to fuck off--and there're crumbs on the counter. Clean them up.
...growl.
Just wanted to make her feel better. Ergh. Help her. Cheer her up, damnit.
Fuck. Why the fuck do I care anymore? Why do I even give that bitch the time of day?
The timing of my CD player was perfect, though. "Mutter" started playing when she told me to fuck off.
Hmm.
She does nothing but upset everyone in this fucking house. And then she expects everyone else to be alright and okay. She gets even angrier because we're upset that she's mad at us for no reason.
She just fucking screams all the fucking time.
I'd love to scream, too...
Scream and make sure you keep it quiet...
A year more. Slightly less than that. Can I keep it down for another year...?
Fuck. Can I get out of here in a year?
Gawddamnit... All my fucking hopes are beginning to unravel before I actually see their fucking deaths. Watching everything I've ever wanted in the next year slowly fall away to nothing. I won't be able to leave in a year--I won't have the money. I don't have a job to save much money from. I can't move in with Jea right after I turn eighteen--her house is too small. Raiee has a little brother now--and her parents wouldn't enjoy my company too much, I think. Erin's parents--I can hear the flat-out "no." Charlie's parents would be the same way (and I don't know how much of each other Charlie and I could possibly take).
Kayt said I can move up to her place. That's the greatest possibility, yeah. Though, I'll need plenty of money to get myself and my stuff up there.
And even when I do move out, I loose my cat. Motherchild wants to keep the cat that she got me for my fucking fifteenth birthday. She doesn't even like him all that much! She's constantly bitching about how he sheds, how he keeps jumping on the furniture she doesn't want him on... Constantly. Fucking. Bitching. About. My. Cat. But she wants to keep him! She says that he's become the family's pet! FUCK! Y'know what?! For the first year that I had Zell, I paid for all his vet bills, kitty litter, and food! I didn't have a stable job--I babysat kids, for fuck's sake. She would pay the vet bill initially, but I would give her money to make up for it. Hundreds of fucking dollars. I paid back every fucking cent. After a while, she said I didn't have to. She said I'd paid enough--he was my fucking cat.
HE'S MY CAT.
...fucking hate that woman.
But I guess I should be fucking grateful that I still have a mom. Pretty fucking horrible of me to sit here and complain about her--when I do, indeed, still have her...
...augh.