There is a wound that's always bleeding...
Well. Last night, mum asked me to go with her to her doctor's appointment in Portsmouth today... 'Cause she doesn't like to go anywhere alone. Naturally, being the slacker I am, I said yes... Knowing full-well that this would be the fifth day out of six days that I could miss in most of my classes. If I miss seven days, I fail. Though, teachers are known for simply failing a student on the sixth day, too. *Sigh.*
So, yeah. Spent most of the night and early this morning watchinh TV. Futurama, Family Guy, and Akira. Mm. Akira. That...I should've just ignored, maybe. 'Cause my mind went off on some wild tangents while watching it. 'Bout death, destruction, psychosis, spirituality, what it's all for...
...meh. Way too deep for a girl who hasn't had much sleep.
Thought on more shit that was thoroughly depressing. By the end of Akira, I was curled up, digging my nails into some scars, thinking even more. By the time I finally forced myself to stop, I was bleeding, and I'd managed to actually shred my own state of mind, so I was feeling fairly numb and confused.
...then mum asked me to go with her to 7-11 to get her Coke. And I just kinda...stared at her. And we went. At some ungodly hour in the morning... To get Coke. And she was freakin' out a little.
"This is about the time that people would rob a 7-11. So I want you to stay in the car. Oh. Wait. Unless there are no cars. If there aren't any cars, you can come in--"
"Yeah, mom."
"--and this is a really bad 7-11, too--"
"I know, mom."
**Sighs.** Yeah. Of course, the 7-11 wasn't robbed while we were in there. A shipment of shit had just come in, so there was the truck in the front, and only the cars of the employees were there. So, then she rambled about how perfect our timing was.
"Yeah, I know, mom."
Went home. I tried to crash. Couldn't, because my mind was still buzzing. I burst into tears out of frustration...
...and, bam, woke up the next morning. Got up, got washed, got dressed, and went out the door with my mom. Stopped by the same damn 7-11 I was in about four hours earlier. Got myself some coffee and a small thing of donuts for breakfast...
...damn coffee.
Went driving. Tried a new way. Almost got lost, so mum called dad's work, and got someone there to give her directions. We eventually made it to the Chesapeake underwater tunnel. Mum doesn't like the 'tunnel. I trid to imagine the thing coming down and in on us as we were in the middle. She wondered why I was sort of laughing to myself...
But, guess what? Juuuuust as we were about to go through the 'tunnel, they stop traffic going in, and a maintenance truck zips in. And I just crack a grin--I'd stopped chuckling by then, but, at that morbid little grin, my mom gave me another look.
And then she began to get a little irritated and impatient about the fact that she was waiting, and she had an appointment to go to. So she began yelling. Which made me twitch. So I growled, "Maybe they're doing this because there's a leak, mom. How about that?" I saw her shudder, and she shut up for a moment--that was satisfying.
...and then they opened up traffic again. She hit the gas, and I was busy messing with something else--so, that coffee? It went all over. My hoodie got thoroughly soaked. And I just burst into some maniacal giggling before I burst into fucking tears. "My hoodie! My coffee! My sketchbook! FUCK!"
...fortunately, I saved the sketchbook. Because I have my drawing of Maku in that sketchbook. I would've lost my fucking mind--what's left of it--if that'd been ruined.
Hospital. Followed Motherchild around. Got stared at. I guess it wasn't totally uncalled for. o.O **Looks down at herself.** Baggy black pants--turned a dark grey by now--that're sort of ripped up at the bottom. Huge Slipknot shirt...with a goat on the front. Ratty wristbands--both on the same arm (one on the wrist, and one farther up)--with little chains and safety pins on the one on my wrist. Choke-chain clipped (safely) around the neck, with a couple other necklaces... Don't have my collar anymore. Got ubersmelly... And... My tail.
...kids like the tail.
"Doggy!"
"What, honey?"
"Doggy, doggy!"
"Where?"
And I'll be standing in the background, grinning and waving at this utterly amused little kid...
Though, that's only when I'm in a good mood. I wasn't in a good mood today, after the entire coffee thing...
Yeah.
Mom's doctor dude's name was Ignacio. And he was Italian. So he naturally amused me to no end. He probably thought I was a crack addict, though. The entire time, I was sniffing, rubbing at my nose, blinking rapidly, and shaking my leg. Coffee does that to me. (Give me a few Doubleshots and a ton of Sprite--see what I do.) At some point, I laughed at something that was said, but I was staring at the ground...
...meh. I was just...weird today.
Went home eventually. I crashed again. Woke up again. Went to post office. Bashed my head against the wall for not having the package I'm supposed to be sending to Mark. Went back home. Crashed... For the longest period I'd been able to: three hours.
Whoohoo.
Yeah.
And now I'm irritable. Bored. Twitchy. Growl.
I need a really large sketchbook. Like...the sketchbooks they sell at school for eight bucks. 'Cause I have this idea, but it won't be very good to do on a small sketchbook, like I'm thoroughly used to doing...
...on another bad note, I won't be able to scan the entire thing, unless I find a Kinko's.
Oh well.
Going to see if I can find Akira on TV. Again.
So, yeah. Spent most of the night and early this morning watchinh TV. Futurama, Family Guy, and Akira. Mm. Akira. That...I should've just ignored, maybe. 'Cause my mind went off on some wild tangents while watching it. 'Bout death, destruction, psychosis, spirituality, what it's all for...
...meh. Way too deep for a girl who hasn't had much sleep.
Thought on more shit that was thoroughly depressing. By the end of Akira, I was curled up, digging my nails into some scars, thinking even more. By the time I finally forced myself to stop, I was bleeding, and I'd managed to actually shred my own state of mind, so I was feeling fairly numb and confused.
...then mum asked me to go with her to 7-11 to get her Coke. And I just kinda...stared at her. And we went. At some ungodly hour in the morning... To get Coke. And she was freakin' out a little.
"This is about the time that people would rob a 7-11. So I want you to stay in the car. Oh. Wait. Unless there are no cars. If there aren't any cars, you can come in--"
"Yeah, mom."
"--and this is a really bad 7-11, too--"
"I know, mom."
**Sighs.** Yeah. Of course, the 7-11 wasn't robbed while we were in there. A shipment of shit had just come in, so there was the truck in the front, and only the cars of the employees were there. So, then she rambled about how perfect our timing was.
"Yeah, I know, mom."
Went home. I tried to crash. Couldn't, because my mind was still buzzing. I burst into tears out of frustration...
...and, bam, woke up the next morning. Got up, got washed, got dressed, and went out the door with my mom. Stopped by the same damn 7-11 I was in about four hours earlier. Got myself some coffee and a small thing of donuts for breakfast...
...damn coffee.
Went driving. Tried a new way. Almost got lost, so mum called dad's work, and got someone there to give her directions. We eventually made it to the Chesapeake underwater tunnel. Mum doesn't like the 'tunnel. I trid to imagine the thing coming down and in on us as we were in the middle. She wondered why I was sort of laughing to myself...
But, guess what? Juuuuust as we were about to go through the 'tunnel, they stop traffic going in, and a maintenance truck zips in. And I just crack a grin--I'd stopped chuckling by then, but, at that morbid little grin, my mom gave me another look.
And then she began to get a little irritated and impatient about the fact that she was waiting, and she had an appointment to go to. So she began yelling. Which made me twitch. So I growled, "Maybe they're doing this because there's a leak, mom. How about that?" I saw her shudder, and she shut up for a moment--that was satisfying.
...and then they opened up traffic again. She hit the gas, and I was busy messing with something else--so, that coffee? It went all over. My hoodie got thoroughly soaked. And I just burst into some maniacal giggling before I burst into fucking tears. "My hoodie! My coffee! My sketchbook! FUCK!"
...fortunately, I saved the sketchbook. Because I have my drawing of Maku in that sketchbook. I would've lost my fucking mind--what's left of it--if that'd been ruined.
Hospital. Followed Motherchild around. Got stared at. I guess it wasn't totally uncalled for. o.O **Looks down at herself.** Baggy black pants--turned a dark grey by now--that're sort of ripped up at the bottom. Huge Slipknot shirt...with a goat on the front. Ratty wristbands--both on the same arm (one on the wrist, and one farther up)--with little chains and safety pins on the one on my wrist. Choke-chain clipped (safely) around the neck, with a couple other necklaces... Don't have my collar anymore. Got ubersmelly... And... My tail.
...kids like the tail.
"Doggy!"
"What, honey?"
"Doggy, doggy!"
"Where?"
And I'll be standing in the background, grinning and waving at this utterly amused little kid...
Though, that's only when I'm in a good mood. I wasn't in a good mood today, after the entire coffee thing...
Yeah.
Mom's doctor dude's name was Ignacio. And he was Italian. So he naturally amused me to no end. He probably thought I was a crack addict, though. The entire time, I was sniffing, rubbing at my nose, blinking rapidly, and shaking my leg. Coffee does that to me. (Give me a few Doubleshots and a ton of Sprite--see what I do.) At some point, I laughed at something that was said, but I was staring at the ground...
...meh. I was just...weird today.
Went home eventually. I crashed again. Woke up again. Went to post office. Bashed my head against the wall for not having the package I'm supposed to be sending to Mark. Went back home. Crashed... For the longest period I'd been able to: three hours.
Whoohoo.
Yeah.
And now I'm irritable. Bored. Twitchy. Growl.
I need a really large sketchbook. Like...the sketchbooks they sell at school for eight bucks. 'Cause I have this idea, but it won't be very good to do on a small sketchbook, like I'm thoroughly used to doing...
...on another bad note, I won't be able to scan the entire thing, unless I find a Kinko's.
Oh well.
Going to see if I can find Akira on TV. Again.