Hilarious/Horrible Idea
So.... we were driving home in the dark and as we went around a particularly tight curve in the road, there was a deer standing on the other side of the guardrail just kinda staring out across the road... which of course I see just as we're rounding the corner as the headlights hit it... and it's like two feet away from my head, looming out of the darkness... Startling, to say the least.
Well, almost immediately my mind jumps to Cape May, where a deer head sits mounted on a porch wall, with a dust mask to cover its unsightly, slightly decomposing muzzle... And then I'm visualizing the deer we just passed with a painter's dust mask on...
And then it gets worse. Because I am a horrible person, with a somewhat macabre sense of humor/decor and a mite touch of the insanity, I envision having money to waste and purchasing a full taxidermied deer, dressing it up, and placing it in a field on the side of the road in the dark to be spotted by unsuspecting drivers in the middle of nowhere. I can only hope, as their headlights pass over this completely absurd figure, that they do not react poorly or get into an accident, and rather assume that their eyes are playing tricks on them. To take the prank a step further, of course, would be to devise a method of then stealthily removing said dressed up taxidermied deer so that in the event that a curious individual decides to back up or turn around, there is nothing there (or even better, an undressed deer).
Which leads to the "less likely to get arrested for causing an accident, more likely to piss off my neighbors" plan - to place the deer in my yard, complete with seasonal and holiday themed outfits. A bikini and sunglasses for the summer, a green top hat and some clover for St. Pat's, symbols to represent ChristmaHanuKwanzaaYulekah in winter, a variety of costumes for Halloween... sort of an upgrade from my failed holiday skelly (who is to this day on my front door in his red Christmas Elf suit, sans hat as it fell off). Maybe I could use the deer as a scarecrow to help ward off my evil groundhog...
I know, I know... I've got problems.
Well, almost immediately my mind jumps to Cape May, where a deer head sits mounted on a porch wall, with a dust mask to cover its unsightly, slightly decomposing muzzle... And then I'm visualizing the deer we just passed with a painter's dust mask on...
And then it gets worse. Because I am a horrible person, with a somewhat macabre sense of humor/decor and a mite touch of the insanity, I envision having money to waste and purchasing a full taxidermied deer, dressing it up, and placing it in a field on the side of the road in the dark to be spotted by unsuspecting drivers in the middle of nowhere. I can only hope, as their headlights pass over this completely absurd figure, that they do not react poorly or get into an accident, and rather assume that their eyes are playing tricks on them. To take the prank a step further, of course, would be to devise a method of then stealthily removing said dressed up taxidermied deer so that in the event that a curious individual decides to back up or turn around, there is nothing there (or even better, an undressed deer).
Which leads to the "less likely to get arrested for causing an accident, more likely to piss off my neighbors" plan - to place the deer in my yard, complete with seasonal and holiday themed outfits. A bikini and sunglasses for the summer, a green top hat and some clover for St. Pat's, symbols to represent ChristmaHanuKwanzaaYulekah in winter, a variety of costumes for Halloween... sort of an upgrade from my failed holiday skelly (who is to this day on my front door in his red Christmas Elf suit, sans hat as it fell off). Maybe I could use the deer as a scarecrow to help ward off my evil groundhog...
I know, I know... I've got problems.