How long
There ain't nobody, asking me how I've been There ain't nobody, that would name me, as a friend
There ain't nobody, that's dropping by, to say hi There ain't nobody, that's caring whether I
Live or die I have nobody, to tell about, my growing angers I have nobody, to tell about me,
Following strangers There ain't nobody, making sure I'm takin all of my pills There ain't nobody,
Slowing me down and keeping me still,
I'm truly alone...
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can
Only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so
Long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the
Man's mind is gone.
There ain't nobody, telling me, not to jump off. There ain't nobody, telling me, not to chop
Your block off. I get so bloody, I ruin all of my clothes. I get so bloody, I sit in, the dark
Alone. I have nobody, to tell about, my dark fantasies. I have nobody, to tell about, my dark
Realities. There ain't nobody, around me, nobody wanna be friends. I get so bloody, all on me,
The mess never ends. I'm truly alone...
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can
Only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so
Long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the
Man's mind is gone.
I walked into a super K, and went into the back. I started askin questions checkin out the
Chainsaw rack. They had a test model, i pulled the cord and got it runnin. Turned the blade on
The kid workin and blood started gunnin. "What the fuck am I doing?" I dropped the shit and
Started cryin. I made it down two aisles before some hero clotheslined me. I got up, grabbed a
Shovel, and stabbed him in the gut. I pulled it out and hammered across the back of his nug. I'm
Hearing sirnes going off, its no bluelight specials. I turned murderer cavin in to daily life
Pressures but fuck that now all ya'll gonna know me. See me on TV and be like "Look there go my
Homie." I'm more than lonely, I'm lost, lives are the cost. I just beat some bitch in the head,
Stabbed her twice and took off. They can't find me, I'm hidin in the flannel coat rack. I jump
Out and attack, and put a gash in your neck. I finally made it to the front door, and to the
Parking lot. That's wen i got shot alot I got got. Police with bullets and more bullets, pluggin
Me deep. I'm seein flashes, hearing screamin and its all over me. I see a crowd of people bein
Held behind the police tape. All watchin me die, I think i made no mistake. I finally got some
Recognition, dying on my knees, ready for hell because compared to my life, it should be an
Ease... like easy... cake walk... let's go
I wish I knew why this song, and ICP song of all things, hit me this hard. Normally I fight these feelings but lately, especially after a conversation with someone I thought of as a close friend and the questions and such she forced me to face, this particular song hit me, hard. It did make me wonder, how long can a guy be nice, turn the other cheek, be patient before he snaps, no longer cares and accepts that he's simply a hopeless case, that he has too many problems in life to be genuinely accepted, and should accept is immovable lot in life. Right now I look at this, look at old pictures of frineds past, friends passed on and wonder, did I ever mean anything to them. Did I make a difference to them, or in their day. Did I bring joy, or stir anything in them. Or was I just there, an accessory, or someone meerly tolerated and a conviencnce.
Right now. I don't know, and I wish I did, I wish I had some clue, some direction other than the alone, hated or dead conversation Allen and I had ages ago. As thats my guideline anymore as to my existance. Right now neither is preferable. but when the first two seem prevalant in your life.....when you can't even call on family for the most part without being told you're being a burden or as one family memeber put it, call someone who cares. What is there to do? Where can you turn when all you seem to cause is avoidance and frustrations.
How long do I gotta put on a fake smile and bare it and not show any emotion other than some brief happiness. RIght now. I don't know, and I'm hoping a chilly night walk will shock me enough that a path opens and I figure something out,
There ain't nobody, that's dropping by, to say hi There ain't nobody, that's caring whether I
Live or die I have nobody, to tell about, my growing angers I have nobody, to tell about me,
Following strangers There ain't nobody, making sure I'm takin all of my pills There ain't nobody,
Slowing me down and keeping me still,
I'm truly alone...
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can
Only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so
Long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the
Man's mind is gone.
There ain't nobody, telling me, not to jump off. There ain't nobody, telling me, not to chop
Your block off. I get so bloody, I ruin all of my clothes. I get so bloody, I sit in, the dark
Alone. I have nobody, to tell about, my dark fantasies. I have nobody, to tell about, my dark
Realities. There ain't nobody, around me, nobody wanna be friends. I get so bloody, all on me,
The mess never ends. I'm truly alone...
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can
Only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so
Long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the
Man's mind is gone.
I walked into a super K, and went into the back. I started askin questions checkin out the
Chainsaw rack. They had a test model, i pulled the cord and got it runnin. Turned the blade on
The kid workin and blood started gunnin. "What the fuck am I doing?" I dropped the shit and
Started cryin. I made it down two aisles before some hero clotheslined me. I got up, grabbed a
Shovel, and stabbed him in the gut. I pulled it out and hammered across the back of his nug. I'm
Hearing sirnes going off, its no bluelight specials. I turned murderer cavin in to daily life
Pressures but fuck that now all ya'll gonna know me. See me on TV and be like "Look there go my
Homie." I'm more than lonely, I'm lost, lives are the cost. I just beat some bitch in the head,
Stabbed her twice and took off. They can't find me, I'm hidin in the flannel coat rack. I jump
Out and attack, and put a gash in your neck. I finally made it to the front door, and to the
Parking lot. That's wen i got shot alot I got got. Police with bullets and more bullets, pluggin
Me deep. I'm seein flashes, hearing screamin and its all over me. I see a crowd of people bein
Held behind the police tape. All watchin me die, I think i made no mistake. I finally got some
Recognition, dying on my knees, ready for hell because compared to my life, it should be an
Ease... like easy... cake walk... let's go
I wish I knew why this song, and ICP song of all things, hit me this hard. Normally I fight these feelings but lately, especially after a conversation with someone I thought of as a close friend and the questions and such she forced me to face, this particular song hit me, hard. It did make me wonder, how long can a guy be nice, turn the other cheek, be patient before he snaps, no longer cares and accepts that he's simply a hopeless case, that he has too many problems in life to be genuinely accepted, and should accept is immovable lot in life. Right now I look at this, look at old pictures of frineds past, friends passed on and wonder, did I ever mean anything to them. Did I make a difference to them, or in their day. Did I bring joy, or stir anything in them. Or was I just there, an accessory, or someone meerly tolerated and a conviencnce.
Right now. I don't know, and I wish I did, I wish I had some clue, some direction other than the alone, hated or dead conversation Allen and I had ages ago. As thats my guideline anymore as to my existance. Right now neither is preferable. but when the first two seem prevalant in your life.....when you can't even call on family for the most part without being told you're being a burden or as one family memeber put it, call someone who cares. What is there to do? Where can you turn when all you seem to cause is avoidance and frustrations.
How long do I gotta put on a fake smile and bare it and not show any emotion other than some brief happiness. RIght now. I don't know, and I'm hoping a chilly night walk will shock me enough that a path opens and I figure something out,