Fic: "Confused" (Shadowhunters)
Title: Confused
Fandom: Shadowhunters
Characters: Isabelle Lightwood
Pairing: F/M, Isabelle/Raphael
Rating: PG
Summary: Izzy deals with Raphael denying her a kiss.
Genre: Angst
Warnings: season 2 episode 10 spoilers
Word Count: 420
Ever since the attack at the Institute Izzy had been closed off. She wasn't naive enough to think no one noticed. When you grow up and live at the Institute people know you, or think they do, like the back of their hand.
Before she opened the door of her room to walk into the main hall she checked her face in the mirror. She needed to have her game face on - the confident face everyone expected.
What with being a shadowhunter and nearly always at war she hadn't had time to think about what happened with Raphael. And maybe a part of her was happy she didn't have time. She was as confused as ever and she wasn't used to that.
Izzy wasn't stupid enough to think that she could have any man out there. But even though she had been addicted to vampire venom and Raphael possibly to her shadowhunter blood, she couldn't deny the fact that there had been a spark between her and Raphael. Something that went beyond blood. He had mentioned a few times before that he did care about her which is why she was confident enough to go in for a kiss. When he denied her that pleasure it was like ice water being poured on her. She didn't think she had ever been denied. But this was different. He didn't deny feeling anything for her, on the contrary. If anything, he looked like he had fallen for her. But he didn't feel anything towards her sexually. And that was what shook her. Most boy and men that she had been with before either felt something sexually towards her or sexually and romantically. Never just romantically. Never just pure love and caring.
She had been avoiding Raphael. True, she was mad at him for hiding her phone but she was as confused as ever and didn't know what to do about it. The strong confident warrior Isabelle was lost.
The problem was she wasn't sure she could be with Raphael if nothing else was involved. It wasn't that the only way for her to love someone was to have sex it was that she did have all this sexual energy. Even if it were only a kiss. For her it was all connected.
What could she do? Could she be with a man if they never kissed?
She was lost and there was no one to ask.
All she knew was that she cared about him too much to let him slip away.