When we last spoke, I was in Memphis, preparing to leave.
Readers, I am still in Memphis.
I waited six hours at the airport for my flight at 7:20. At 6:50, the flight was delayed. At 7:25, the flight was canceled.
The lines to talk to the agents were, to use a word that I have only recently learned but find remarkably useful, a shitshow. Dude, I know it really sucks that the flight crew is stuck in Atlanta. I know it really sucks that there are no flights until Thursday. I know it really sucks that there are no rental cars. When you get up to the agent and start bitching and moaning and demanding that the agents pull a flight out of nowhere so you can take your little prima donna ass back to Nashville, YOU ARE THE ONE MAKING THIS SUCK.
Aside: This is one of my biggest pet peeves of all time. It even pissed me off when I was a kid- don't fucking bitch when things don't go your way, ESPECIALLY in a long line where twenty strangers have to listen to your fucking mouth. Nobody wants to put up with you acting like a fucking toddler. Suck it the fuck up, act like an adult, smile at the people who are only trying to help, bitch to your friend later in the car.
This may or may not have led to me reverse-bitching at the guy in front of me in the refunds line. Anyway.
So I came back to the Holiday Inn, which is really very nice, and I am very grateful to have a hotel room. And I had dinner in the hotel restaurant, where they had fried goat cheese, which must be mankind's greatest invention. And I desperately tried to find somebody to get me the fuck out of Memphis, after which I went to sleep and had the most bizarre dreams (though one of them was a trailer for a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio that looked reallly good).
But, my children, the end is in sight. I don't want to jinx it again, but good lord willing and the creek don't rise,
arymabeth will be here in a few short hours to take me back home. I'm gonna buy her so many lizards.
How are you, flist?
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