Title: Because They Have Appeal
Series:
John Farr (virgin!John track)
Summary: Rodney was allergic to citrus in more ways than one.
Word Count: ~650
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Pairing: John/Rodney
A/N: Some Rodney backstory for the increasingly poorly named virgin!John track. No more puns about oranges, I swear.
Most of the guys Rodney had known- and some of the girls, too- had this weird kink about oranges, like they were the best and most special thing ever; but Rodney was allergic to citrus in more ways than one.
He'd only ever peeled anyone one time, which happened totally on accident. All Rodney got out of it was a black eye- which had also been an accident, the result of a wild elbow- and the vague sense that he'd just been hit by a truck. Rodney just didn't see what was supposed to be so awesome about letting someone who had no idea what they were doing flail all over him for a week and a half.
In the back of his mind, he had this fully formed fantasy of finding someone who already knew what marks to hit, somebody who could just take control and be fine without Rodney's constant help. As it stood, though, it seemed that Rodney was doomed to being a backseat driver.
This probably formed a lot of the reason for why people hit the button on Rodney more than they really should have.
In fact, that was how his last girlfriend had broken up with him. It wasn't that they weren't incompatible or anything; on the contrary- genetically speaking, they got along very well. It was just that she may not have interpreted Rodney's well-meant but admittedly blunt suggestions for ways to improve their sexual congress (“No, left! My left! Are you even listening to me? Are you trying to suck at this?”) as he intended them.
The security guard at the Borders had not been particularly understanding, nor did Rodney think that she actually believed Rodney's story. Also, she wouldn't let him leave without paying for two copies of The Orange and the Empty Room that they'd inadvertently bent up- which actually turned out to be a pretty compelling read.
And so when the hottest guy Rodney had ever seen slammed him up against the wall across from the Williams-Sonoma (Rodney was never going to be able to look at a stand mixer again without getting a little excited) and just took him, Rodney figured he'd hit the jackpot.
And he turned out to be a fucking orange!
Of course, then Rodney acted like even more of an asshole than usual, possibly because he was too distracted by trying to decide who to call up and lord it over first. He'd come uncomfortably close to losing John entirely, and it was only by using all the resources at his disposal- and, okay, maybe just a little bit of stalking- that Rodney had managed to get him back. And hey, he'd found the mission a gene that was at least as strong as Carson's, and it just happened to be carried by a fighter pilot; so it wasn't like he wasn't totally justified in his blatant misuse of governmental resources.
And, even more incredibly, it seemed like John had actually forgiven him for having the social skills of someone who'd been raised by wolves- or at least he hadn't kicked Rodney out yet, which was good enough for him.
So everything in Rodney's life was pretty much way better than he'd ever expected- except that he was going to have to train John, which was truly disappointing.
John pushed him into the bed again, his fingers of his left hand digging into Rodney's hips a little, his right closing around his cock. He cut his eyes up at Rodney's face, staring right at him as he licked his way slowly up the shaft. John flicked his tongue against the head, just like Rodney liked, exactly- oh, fuck- exactly how Rodney'd taught him.
“Come on,” John moaned, sounding really annoyed and really seductive at the same time. “Don't just lay there- tie me up and fuck me, for Christ's sake.”
Okay, scratch that- everything in Rodney's life was damn near perfect.