(no subject)
excerpt from Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
"Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's teh gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give.
You should be nice to people, even creeps.
And if you:
a) believed that Joshua was the Song of God (and)
b) he had come to save you from sin (and)
c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became a little child, he would say) (and)
d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c),
then you would:
e) live forever
f) someplace nice
g) probably heaven.
However, if you:
h) sinned (and/or)
i) were a hypocrite (and/or)
j) valued things over people (and)
k) didn't do a, b, c, and d,
then you were:
l) fucked
Which is the message that Joshua's father had given him so many years ago, and which seemed, at the time, succint to the point of rudeness, butmade more sense after you listened to a few hundred sermons"
lol, I love this book.
P.S. Can I just say, that if had I learned that in Sunday school I would've found the Bible and Christianity as a whole a lot more interesting/palatable than the crap my teacher spewed out every week?