(no subject)
So I think I might ask Joe to marry me...seriously. We have been together for almost four years now and I know he is the one and I know he feels the same way.
Joe was away for a week to visit his parents in CB and he just got home yesterday. We were lying on the sofa last night after Pat went to work and I had decided to say in Halifax for the night and I was just overcome with the sheer love I have for him. I could see in his eyes that he was feeling the exact same thing. Those of you in love I know you know the feeling I'm talking about. Its warm and fuzzy and all encompassing and it makes me wanna cry in a good way because I'm so grateful to have him in my life.
A lot of good things happened this year for us. Firstly we adopted our wonderful beautiful cat Captain Jack from Joe's brother and sister in law. I know this might sound silly but honestly adding Jack to our household has made us feel more like a family as opposed to a couple. In taking care of Jack I think we've seen a loving side of each other that not many others get to see. You know that feeling you get when you see a pet owner that completely loves their pet, not as an animal but as part of the family, I think that look is a beautiful thing to see and I think its makes us better people. A lot of what I just wrote might not make sense, but I'm sure you pet owners know what I'm trying to say.
Also this year I finally left my job at Dofsky's that I had been at for four years for a much better job at The Cellar Halifax. Joe also got his current job at CIBC this year, and even thought its not his ideal job he does enjoy it, he recently got a promotion, and he is finally able to start seriously putting a dent in his student loans. I don't need a lot of money to be happy and Joe knows that, but I'm glad we are financially stable and that he doesn't have to choose between rent and loan payments. The first time I ever saw Joe cry was when he was fired from his job two weeks before Christmas last year and he was so angry and upset at himself because he felt like he was being a burden to me financially. It broke my heart to see him like that and I'd rather never see him hurt like that again.
My mom once asked me if Joe was "the one" and if I "loved him" loved him. I think it was about 2 or so years into our relationship. I told her that yes I did think he was the one and that I did love him. I am not the kind of person to be in a relationship with someone if I don't think it was going to go anywhere. If he wasn't "the one" after two years, we wouldn't have been together at all by that point. Please bare in mind that it took us both about a year before we even said the "L" word to each other. I was very scared to say it too early because hearts are pretty sensitive things and I didn't want to run the risk of being uncertain.
I have often said to all the people who ask us when we are going to get married that we are waiting for Joe to pay off his student loans and for me to put away more money, which isn't untrue. I've also often said that until there was a ring on my finger we won't be getting married. I had never really considered asking Joe, I just figured he would ask me. I guess I thought that him giving me a ring would mean he was ready. Our relationship has grown a lot especially this past year and I find myself feeling more assertive in our relationship, or maybe just more sure of myself and how I see our relationship. I kinda wanna be the one to ask him now, and I'm not sure where this feeling came from. I wanna be the one that makes him happy, the one who comforts him in difficult times, the one who shares in his joys, right beside him always. Friend, lover, companion, soul mate, he's the gay troll hunter to my gay troll shaman :P
I'm not saying its gonna happen tomorrow, but I think I want to be the one to ask for his heart in marriage. All the details don't really matter, that can all be sorted afterwords, but I know that I love him, that he is the man for me, that he completes my life, and that I can't imagine being with anyone else.
I probably could have written a lot of this better, but I'm kinda just typing on emotion right now. I haven't really voiced any of this before but it felt good to try and put down how I feel on paper (internet :P) Writing is kinda my way of organizing my thought and feelings and I haven't done it in awhile. So much of this stuff is hard to express, but its all things I know Joe feels when we look in each others eyes. Anyway this is a long post so I'm gonna end it here.
Joe was away for a week to visit his parents in CB and he just got home yesterday. We were lying on the sofa last night after Pat went to work and I had decided to say in Halifax for the night and I was just overcome with the sheer love I have for him. I could see in his eyes that he was feeling the exact same thing. Those of you in love I know you know the feeling I'm talking about. Its warm and fuzzy and all encompassing and it makes me wanna cry in a good way because I'm so grateful to have him in my life.
A lot of good things happened this year for us. Firstly we adopted our wonderful beautiful cat Captain Jack from Joe's brother and sister in law. I know this might sound silly but honestly adding Jack to our household has made us feel more like a family as opposed to a couple. In taking care of Jack I think we've seen a loving side of each other that not many others get to see. You know that feeling you get when you see a pet owner that completely loves their pet, not as an animal but as part of the family, I think that look is a beautiful thing to see and I think its makes us better people. A lot of what I just wrote might not make sense, but I'm sure you pet owners know what I'm trying to say.
Also this year I finally left my job at Dofsky's that I had been at for four years for a much better job at The Cellar Halifax. Joe also got his current job at CIBC this year, and even thought its not his ideal job he does enjoy it, he recently got a promotion, and he is finally able to start seriously putting a dent in his student loans. I don't need a lot of money to be happy and Joe knows that, but I'm glad we are financially stable and that he doesn't have to choose between rent and loan payments. The first time I ever saw Joe cry was when he was fired from his job two weeks before Christmas last year and he was so angry and upset at himself because he felt like he was being a burden to me financially. It broke my heart to see him like that and I'd rather never see him hurt like that again.
My mom once asked me if Joe was "the one" and if I "loved him" loved him. I think it was about 2 or so years into our relationship. I told her that yes I did think he was the one and that I did love him. I am not the kind of person to be in a relationship with someone if I don't think it was going to go anywhere. If he wasn't "the one" after two years, we wouldn't have been together at all by that point. Please bare in mind that it took us both about a year before we even said the "L" word to each other. I was very scared to say it too early because hearts are pretty sensitive things and I didn't want to run the risk of being uncertain.
I have often said to all the people who ask us when we are going to get married that we are waiting for Joe to pay off his student loans and for me to put away more money, which isn't untrue. I've also often said that until there was a ring on my finger we won't be getting married. I had never really considered asking Joe, I just figured he would ask me. I guess I thought that him giving me a ring would mean he was ready. Our relationship has grown a lot especially this past year and I find myself feeling more assertive in our relationship, or maybe just more sure of myself and how I see our relationship. I kinda wanna be the one to ask him now, and I'm not sure where this feeling came from. I wanna be the one that makes him happy, the one who comforts him in difficult times, the one who shares in his joys, right beside him always. Friend, lover, companion, soul mate, he's the gay troll hunter to my gay troll shaman :P
I'm not saying its gonna happen tomorrow, but I think I want to be the one to ask for his heart in marriage. All the details don't really matter, that can all be sorted afterwords, but I know that I love him, that he is the man for me, that he completes my life, and that I can't imagine being with anyone else.
I probably could have written a lot of this better, but I'm kinda just typing on emotion right now. I haven't really voiced any of this before but it felt good to try and put down how I feel on paper (internet :P) Writing is kinda my way of organizing my thought and feelings and I haven't done it in awhile. So much of this stuff is hard to express, but its all things I know Joe feels when we look in each others eyes. Anyway this is a long post so I'm gonna end it here.