Musings
Things are still amazing, believe it or not. It still hasn't been terribly long, a little over two months we've been actually together now. I've spent a stretch of six days and a stretch of seven days at her house, and it was fantastical. We got along just fine, I got to help her out and clean and pack and stuff, we fell asleep together every night, I was there when she came home from work, we smoked and watched movies and went out randomly for food and other wanderings. And now she's moved into Josie's, which is cool I guess, but not at the same time. She'll be busier, and staying over will be slightly awkward, and I won't be able to stay for as long.
But it's still great. I love her omg. It just seems to get more intense the more time we spend together. Which makes me feel slightly more certain about this whole deal. Still terrifying in the back of my mind, but wtf I can't help it. Besides, I want it so bad. I said I wanted to be consumed by it, enraptured, enthralled. Our love is all of those things and growing.
I honestly think she means the things she says. About our future, the way she feels about me, how i'm beautiful and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I think she's actually seriously in love with me the way i am with her, and it's absolutely the bestest thing ever. It's so much easier feeling confident about everything, having a little bit of certainty, yet holding back enough to not get complacent. That's my greatest fear, to settle into comfort with her only to have it tumble apart. Argh.
Not everything's perfect, of course. She's annoyed me once or twice, nothing major, but it was sort of nice cuz it helped solidify the fact that she is only human afterall. Tho i really think we can get along just fine in the long run. Maybe i'm projecting my desires, but it seems so possible.
Lots of things suddenly seem possible. I never thought in a million years I'd ever manage to get this lucky. And have it be working so freaking well. Shit, three months ago I was rattling around in my skull going crazy with lonliness and despair, sure beyond doubt that I would never be happy again. How could I? And yet here I am, with the best girlfriend enyone would ever ask for, generally happy as hell with life atm. Dude.
It is hard sometimes. Being apart from her is painful, 'specially since I'm all clingy and friendless. It's hard when she has things to do besides sit around and miss me like i do her. It's lkike i'm missing a limb lol. I feel her there next to me, but she's not and it sucks so freaking bad. And there's still three days before I get to see her again omg. I feel like I'm going to die, even though I know that's so freaking dumb. I can't regret spending all that time with her even though I feel like this cuz it was so great.
She's spectacular. And we're opening up to eachother even more. We have wonderful sex, on a regular basis. I've never been this satisfied, omg. She's so beautiful, I can stare at her for extended periods of time and not get bored, which we both do often enough. Rawr.
But yeah, babbling. So the, bed. <3
But it's still great. I love her omg. It just seems to get more intense the more time we spend together. Which makes me feel slightly more certain about this whole deal. Still terrifying in the back of my mind, but wtf I can't help it. Besides, I want it so bad. I said I wanted to be consumed by it, enraptured, enthralled. Our love is all of those things and growing.
I honestly think she means the things she says. About our future, the way she feels about me, how i'm beautiful and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I think she's actually seriously in love with me the way i am with her, and it's absolutely the bestest thing ever. It's so much easier feeling confident about everything, having a little bit of certainty, yet holding back enough to not get complacent. That's my greatest fear, to settle into comfort with her only to have it tumble apart. Argh.
Not everything's perfect, of course. She's annoyed me once or twice, nothing major, but it was sort of nice cuz it helped solidify the fact that she is only human afterall. Tho i really think we can get along just fine in the long run. Maybe i'm projecting my desires, but it seems so possible.
Lots of things suddenly seem possible. I never thought in a million years I'd ever manage to get this lucky. And have it be working so freaking well. Shit, three months ago I was rattling around in my skull going crazy with lonliness and despair, sure beyond doubt that I would never be happy again. How could I? And yet here I am, with the best girlfriend enyone would ever ask for, generally happy as hell with life atm. Dude.
It is hard sometimes. Being apart from her is painful, 'specially since I'm all clingy and friendless. It's hard when she has things to do besides sit around and miss me like i do her. It's lkike i'm missing a limb lol. I feel her there next to me, but she's not and it sucks so freaking bad. And there's still three days before I get to see her again omg. I feel like I'm going to die, even though I know that's so freaking dumb. I can't regret spending all that time with her even though I feel like this cuz it was so great.
She's spectacular. And we're opening up to eachother even more. We have wonderful sex, on a regular basis. I've never been this satisfied, omg. She's so beautiful, I can stare at her for extended periods of time and not get bored, which we both do often enough. Rawr.
But yeah, babbling. So the, bed. <3