(no subject)
I can't sit here and pretend that I only want you in my life as a friend. No longer, I can't take it. I thought I could deal with you being in my life as only a friend, and I could but I can't anymore. I can't take people asking me if we're dating and I can't take telling them no. It's not what I want, as it does not seem like what you want either. But hell if I know. it doesn't make sense. It seems like right now nothing makes sense. I want anwsers, I guess I want you to tell me that you don't like me, I want to know for sure. Of course, I want you to like be back. I need to know. Its driving me crazy not knowing. A lot has changed since December, but I cannot take that kind of rejection again. I've changed, I like you more, I know you more. I love being with you. I would hate to lose your friendship but yet, i'm going crazy. There is no way to win in this? Why can't he like me back? and if he does, why won't he tell me. Sure, it'd suck being 6 and a half hours away from you but I don't care anymore. Look. I want you to see me. The risk I am willing to take. I'm willing to try with you and have it fail, its worth the risk. I don't want to sleep next to you, and have you tell me you have no feelings back. I don't want to look into your eyes and there be feelings on one side, but not the other. I don't want to look in your eyes and see one of my best friends, a friend in a way no one else could be. I want you, my favorite color.