(no subject)

[saanders]

I realize that recent posts were not altogther fair in many of their accusations and barbs. I am well aware of this, I was aware of it when I made the posts. But somehow felt that incorperating that into the post did not express how strongly I felt about things at the time, or feel about them now. Also my tendancey to contratdict my words with my actions is well known to me and does not need to be pointed out yet again, thank you. In fact, I had already considered most of the points many of you brought up in your responces but still felt strongly enough to make the post(s). A lot of thought went on before those posts were made, three, four days worth to be exact, it wasn't something I rashly did out of a sense of vengance or spite. What I wanted to do was bleed the poisen so to speek, just let it all out. I don't care if you understand this need, I don't need you to. I don't even need you to approve of it. I need to do it.

Incidently and having nothing to do with what I already said in this post, I'm still waiting for you. Ugly, broken and trying to fix myself, but still waiting. Even if you never come, I am waiting. If you would just be here for a little while, that would make me happy. You don't have to stay, I know I'm not the most ideal of people.