Things that never change
The small lawn swam in the sunlight. This was the first, real spring day, after a long-long winter. The sunbeam caress the woman’s face with a soft touch.
Salane lets slip her horse’s bridle from her fingers then closed her eyes and turned her face into the sunbeam, like she hopes that it will wash away the last month’s pain and fatigue from her soul.
She tried to dispel the memory of that autumn night, but every time it looks like to manage, she reaches her hand to catch it again.
“Sal, could it happen? Please, try it…”
The man’s words still echoing in her ears, and that kiss still burning on her lips…
Maybe it was her fault. Yeah, maybe this happens only because she was afraid. Afraid? She was dread that he only wants her to recover that other one. That he only wants to find and get back the other one in her. Yeah, maybe this is what happened…
The dark circles under the dark brown eyes yarn about insomnia but the smile was still on her lips. Days and nights full of sleeplessness crying and waiting weren’t enough to cancel her eternal smile. It only pales into dim.
She heard her horse’s anxious snorts but opened her eyes only when it wouldn’t end.
- What happened? - asked as she turned to the horse, but this moment she noticed the man under the trees.
Anger, pain and blissful relief glinted in the dark eyes at the same time, as she recognized the man. But this was only a moment.
- What do you want? - asked him, there was deadness and charm all at once.
The man drew on with slow, tempered steps.
- You, Salane - answered but doubtfulness was in his blue eyes. What did he hope? He was the one who left her without any explanation or a message at least. Couldn’t be that she still loves him…
She stepped closer to her horse and stroked its neck.
- You came to Gideon’s funeral… - she said without look at him.
- Yeah… - he said quietly.
~But you didn’t come to me!~ a voice scream in her mind, but she closed her lips tight not to say it loud.
- Why did you come now? - she asked instead.
Slowly she turned her face to him and let him to see the depths of her soul through the eyes. To see what he ruined in her. When she was a child she had to learn to rejoice small things such as sunlight, rain or the singing of the birds. But for this she had to pay with bitter experiences. She learned that a smile can make sweet anybody’s day, especially hers, that no worth crying because in the end everything will be alright.
After all she cried for him nights and it was more difficult and took long weeks to learn to smile again with a tired, weak smile. The wound in her heart was so painful that she wanted to die because she felt it wouldn’t dispel ever. It didn’t. She could still feel it like a dim throbbing.
- I… didn’t want… but… please understand… - he didn’t now what to say.
He felt himself like a teenage boy. Just the same that autumn night…
- I have to go… - she cut him in a hurry. - I’m working in the new inn. Adee must be waiting for me…
When she wanted to mount a touch on her wrist stopped her.
- Wait, Sal! Don’t go, please…
A shiver ran down on her spine through his voice. She weakened and let him to force to face him.
- I understand if you don’t love me anymore. If you hate for what I did to you but please let me explain it! Give me a chance… - the graceful fingers on his lips cut his speech.
A dim, sad smile appeared on Salane’s lips.
- Hush! Don’t say a word. You went because you had to. And who am I to stop you when it calls you? - She gestured to the wild around them. - I was worried and feared you, but never hated you, not for a second. I would like to hate you because I thought that could help to stand the emptiness what I felt here… - said and pointed her heart. - But I couldn’t hate you. No. Because… you know… there are things that never change…
Salane lets slip her horse’s bridle from her fingers then closed her eyes and turned her face into the sunbeam, like she hopes that it will wash away the last month’s pain and fatigue from her soul.
She tried to dispel the memory of that autumn night, but every time it looks like to manage, she reaches her hand to catch it again.
“Sal, could it happen? Please, try it…”
The man’s words still echoing in her ears, and that kiss still burning on her lips…
Maybe it was her fault. Yeah, maybe this happens only because she was afraid. Afraid? She was dread that he only wants her to recover that other one. That he only wants to find and get back the other one in her. Yeah, maybe this is what happened…
The dark circles under the dark brown eyes yarn about insomnia but the smile was still on her lips. Days and nights full of sleeplessness crying and waiting weren’t enough to cancel her eternal smile. It only pales into dim.
She heard her horse’s anxious snorts but opened her eyes only when it wouldn’t end.
- What happened? - asked as she turned to the horse, but this moment she noticed the man under the trees.
Anger, pain and blissful relief glinted in the dark eyes at the same time, as she recognized the man. But this was only a moment.
- What do you want? - asked him, there was deadness and charm all at once.
The man drew on with slow, tempered steps.
- You, Salane - answered but doubtfulness was in his blue eyes. What did he hope? He was the one who left her without any explanation or a message at least. Couldn’t be that she still loves him…
She stepped closer to her horse and stroked its neck.
- You came to Gideon’s funeral… - she said without look at him.
- Yeah… - he said quietly.
~But you didn’t come to me!~ a voice scream in her mind, but she closed her lips tight not to say it loud.
- Why did you come now? - she asked instead.
Slowly she turned her face to him and let him to see the depths of her soul through the eyes. To see what he ruined in her. When she was a child she had to learn to rejoice small things such as sunlight, rain or the singing of the birds. But for this she had to pay with bitter experiences. She learned that a smile can make sweet anybody’s day, especially hers, that no worth crying because in the end everything will be alright.
After all she cried for him nights and it was more difficult and took long weeks to learn to smile again with a tired, weak smile. The wound in her heart was so painful that she wanted to die because she felt it wouldn’t dispel ever. It didn’t. She could still feel it like a dim throbbing.
- I… didn’t want… but… please understand… - he didn’t now what to say.
He felt himself like a teenage boy. Just the same that autumn night…
- I have to go… - she cut him in a hurry. - I’m working in the new inn. Adee must be waiting for me…
When she wanted to mount a touch on her wrist stopped her.
- Wait, Sal! Don’t go, please…
A shiver ran down on her spine through his voice. She weakened and let him to force to face him.
- I understand if you don’t love me anymore. If you hate for what I did to you but please let me explain it! Give me a chance… - the graceful fingers on his lips cut his speech.
A dim, sad smile appeared on Salane’s lips.
- Hush! Don’t say a word. You went because you had to. And who am I to stop you when it calls you? - She gestured to the wild around them. - I was worried and feared you, but never hated you, not for a second. I would like to hate you because I thought that could help to stand the emptiness what I felt here… - said and pointed her heart. - But I couldn’t hate you. No. Because… you know… there are things that never change…