[multi-chap] Life (Re)Starts Here Ch.5/??
Title: Life (Re)Starts Here for vicco_vicky
Author: Saana
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13 (mostly, probably… might change?... J)
Genre: AU, slice of life, family life, fluff, angst
Disc.: this is a fanfiction, which means I’m a fan and this is fiction
Summary: Sho’s life falling apart in an instant and as he finds himself a single father with a five-year old boy, he decides to move back to the small town on the Chiba coast where he spent his childhood, trying to pick up the pieces of his life and raise his son…
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
The next morning Sho found Masaki - all bed hair and sleep rumpled clothes - in the kitchen, making breakfast just as he promised.
And it scared him.
Well, not Masaki or the fact that he was making breakfast (it would be more frightening if their roles would be reversed). But what scared Sho was the realization that he wanted this. He wanted to see Masaki first thing in the morning. Not just this one time or occasionally, but permanently. Every day. Preferably for the rest of his life.
But he also knew immediately that it was something he couldn’t have.
He had Shin to think of and to take care of. It was a responsibility he should not put on Masaki who was still so young, with life just starting out for him. He had his dreams and goals of his own to chase and to achieve. And Sho was not someone to stand in the way of those. Even if due to some miracle Masaki would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him, but Sho highly doubted such possibility.
Trying to keep his troubled emotions under control Sho tried to back out of the kitchen before the Masaki could notice his presence but, just his luck, he bumped into the doorframe, yelping in pain and alerting Masaki of his presence.
“Ah, Sho-chan, good mor…!” He greeted him with a smile radiant as ever but quickly clouded with worry. “Are you okay?”
Cursing under his breath and rubbing his sore elbow, Sho nodded hurriedly.
“Yeah, yeah, just clumsy in the morning,” Sho tried to wave it off. “I’ll go wake up Shin-chan or he’ll sleep forever,” he added before all but ran out of the kitchen.
For the rest of their shared morning Sho did his best to act normal. Even such a short time was pure torture for him. He needed time. More time than what was at hand at a busy morning when he had Shin and himself to get ready for the day.
He needed more time to find out what to do; how to handle these feelings. He needed time and distance…
So when a few days later Masaki called to cancel their next cooking lesson, saying he had let a few projects to pile up for his college courses and he really needed to take care of those before he ran out of time. And Sho took this unexpected chance to put the necessary distance between them.
He said Masaki shouldn’t neglect his obligations like that. And that they should just stop with the cooking lessons since it was obviously a distraction for him and if he could not act responsibly then it was an influence he did not want around his son.
It was a jerk thing to say, Sho knew that much. But he was still confused by and kind of scared of his own feelings; he had no idea how to handle them and most importantly, he knew his own weakness to say ‘no’ to Masaki when they were actually face to face. So he had to make sure that they did not meet. At least for a while; until he could get control over his feelings. Even if he knew that Shin would be sad for not seeing Masaki. But he’ll get over it. They both will. ‘I will make sure of that,’ Sho promised himself fiercely.
To keep Shin’s mood up, Sho made sure they were busy. Spending hours on the playground or the park in the afternoons; taking trips along the beach on the weekends.
This plan seemed to work more or less for several weeks.
Until he got that call…
Sho rubbed his forehead as he stared at the phone on the coffee table as if it was his greatest enemy. At this moment, it totally felt like that.
In the past half-year he could avoid to even think about their life back in Tokyo, and honestly he was happy this way. Shin was happy here, even if he still woke up crying in the middle of the night every now and then, he was getting better. So Sho wasn’t looking forward to take Shin back there now. Even if it was for only a day.
He asked if Satoshi could look after him but he couldn’t since again he was booked for the whole weekend. Sho felt déjà vu.
‘But I’m sure Masaki would love to help,’ Ohno said confidently before saying goodbye.
This time Sho was even less confident about this idea than he was the last time. Considering how he talked to him the last time, he doubted that Masaki would even take his call. But for Shin, he had to try at least, right?...
“Moshi-moshi, Sho-chan? Are you okay? Something wrong?...”
Sho was baffled to say the least that Masaki not only answered but he sounded genuinely worried. It made him feel ashamed.
“No, nothing’s wrong. But… I’m sorry to ask this again but… could you look after Shin-chan this Saturday? I have some business to take care of back in Tokyo and if possible I’d rather not drag him along to be miserable…” Sho explained with a forced laughter, trying to sound less desperate than what he felt.
“Ah!...” The long silence immediately told Sho that the answer will be ‘no’ and he couldn’t say that he was surprised. “I have an interview scheduled for a project on Saturday but…” Masaki said finally, sounding sad and Sho couldn’t decide if it was for himself or them.
“It’s okay,” he said quickly. “I understand. I’m sorry to have bothered you…” Sho added, feeling guiltier with each moment.
“Wait, Sho-chan!” Masaki interrupted him before Sho could cut the call. “If it’s okay with you, I can take him with me. Actually this interview…, I’ll talk a few people at the Chiba Zoo so… I’m sure they won’t mind and Shin-chan could have fun too. Seeing the ‘backstage’ and all…”
Sho chuckled at this, already envisioning it before him.
“I’m sure of that too. But I don’t want to burden you with this when you’re busy”
“It's not a burden. I wouldn’t offer otherwise,” Masaki insisted. “I’ll be there to pick him up in the morning, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you, Masaki-kun”
If it was possible, Sho felt even worse after he ended the call…
On Saturday morning, to avoid any awkward conversation, Sho got up early and made sure that Shin was ready to go by the time Masaki arrived.
Probably because he was not used to having to get up so early on the weekend, Shin was unusually reluctant to leave his bed even with the promise to visit the zoo with Masaki. Still, Sho who was already busy with dreading the moment the doorbell would ring, was adamant against the boy’s whining. Though Shin was still sluggish and sleepy, he perked up a bit when Masaki did arrived. Taking the chance, Sho only offered a brief greeting and made Masaki promise not to spoil him too much then they were on their way in a pretty good mood.
Sho on the other hand couldn’t say the least that he was looking forward his own trip to Tokyo…
A few hours later Sho entered a high-class restaurant. It wasn’t his first visit at such a place but now, dressed in jeans and hoodie under his jacket, he felt more than uncomfortable being there, wishing this whole ordeal to be over as soon as possible. As soon as he said his name, a pretty waitress with a polite smile led him to a private room.
“Hello, mother. Sorry to make you wait…” Sho greeted the woman who was waiting there for him. Purposely ignoring the disapproving look she gave to his outfit, Sho sat down.
Sho wasn’t even surprised when he saw no menu on the table but the waitress quickly returned with his drink, then soon the first course arrived as well. ‘As expected of mother…’ Sho thought with the least amusement as he examined the small portion of caviar and some leaves and sauce, placed on the plate in a fancy arrangement.
“So… How’s everything, son? How’s Shin-kun?” His mother asked when the waitress left the room. “You should’ve bring him too,” she added with a slightly scolding tone.
‘I’d rather not…’ Sho thought but of course he didn’t say it.
“We’re fine, thanks for asking,” he said shortly instead.
He knew it wasn’t motherly worry that made her call him now and to be honest, he would’ve rather skipped all this empty small talk and just hear what she actually wanted from him. But of course instead of that, she asked Sho about their new place and his new job. Sho tried to describe their apartment, his job and his colleagues in the best possible way. He emphasized that he enjoyed what he was doing, but he knew that behind all those smiles, she was neither impressed, nor did she approve that Sho chose to move to a middle-of-nowhere town in the countryside and to work at a 3-people so-called publishing company. Not that she would ever admit it - she was too much of a ‘lady’ for that - but Sho knew her well enough.
“I was thinking,” she finally said when they were finished with the main course. “Why don’t you and Shin-kun come over for a visit? Next week, maybe”
Sho was shocked that she proposed it so easily, so casually like she was talking about the weather when the last time… He cleared his throat, trying to find a polite way to answer, and turn down the invitation.
“After the last time I was under the impression that we’re not welcome…” he said simply and truthfully in the end.
“Nonsense!” his mother waved him off. “You must’ve misunderstood something. We’re family, after all. So, next week? You could spend the whole weekend”
Sho was pretty sure he did not misunderstand the situation. His father was yelling at him quite articulately. Blaming him for what happened; claiming that he tainted the Sakurai name. He was pretty sure that the only reason why he was not yet legally disowned, that his brother was still too young to fill the role that their parents were still expecting Sho to fill. At least Sho had a very strong suspicion that was what this whole charade of lunch date with his mother was about. Why else would she insist of them visiting right next week when they didn’t care to call even once in the past half-year?
“We can’t make it next week. We have plans already,” he said, though it wasn’t true. He didn’t want to walk into such a situation, especially not with Shin, until he knew what it was about.
“I’m sure you can re-arrange that,” his mother as always, refused to listen when the answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear. The self-entitled way she spoke made it obvious that she actually expected Sho to do whatever necessary to accommodate her wishes. It wasn’t anything new but it totally pissed Sho off now.
“I’m sorry but I can’t do that. This was the only suitable date for all parties involved and it would cause a lot of inconvenience if we had to reschedule now…” Sho lied and tried to sound as firm as possible, hoping that the real message would get through to his mother this. “Also, it’s quite a long trip with a child so I hope you understand that I need preparations for it” At least this last part was true.
For the first time, his mother let he mask slip for a moment and looked honestly shocked by Sho’s blatant refusal. She quickly collected herself though.
“Fine,” she said curtly. “Why don’t I go visit you sometime then? It’s not acceptable that you took my grandson away just like that. Just give me your new address,” she said, pulling out her planner from her handbag, pushing it toward Sho on the table.
Sho considered it for a moment but jotted down his address in the end. He still felt that he was missing something of the big picture but he was also sure that his mother would be easier to handle if such meeting would happen on his turf, so to say. He also doubted that his father would bother to go all the way to Chiba just to see him or his grandson. He always suspected that he and his parents harbored different views on how a family should be and the recent events in his life just strengthened this belief of his, but he still wanted Shin to have a relationship with his grandparents. In a kid’s life the grandparents were really important and influential the best possible way. At least they were for Sho and he wished if his son could have that too.
Obviously satisfied with this outcome, Sho’s mother stopped with the ‘family-talk’ and instead started to talk about various acquaintances whom Sho couldn’t care less about. It didn’t take long before Sho was not just bored but felt he had heard more than enough of these shallow stories of fancy houses, fast cars and unnecessarily expensive trips to such and such exotic destinations. So he couldn’t have been more grateful when his phone rang. Seeing Masaki’s name on the screen his heart skipped a beat. He quickly grabbed the device.
“Excuse me, mother, I have to take this,” he said and without waiting for her response, he quickly exited the room. “Hey, Masaki-kun! What’s…?”
The smile disappeared from Sho’s face almost instantly, replaced with quickly building panic.
He rushed back the private room, almost pushing over the waitress who was bringing them the post-lunch coffee.
“I’ve gotta go now…” he said while grabbing his jacket. He didn’t care if he was rude for not offering any explanation or for leaving her with the bill - this lunch was her idea so it felt right like this anyway.
There was no room in his mind but for one thing:
‘Shin-chan’s in hospital…’
A/N: hey there! sorry for the long wait on this update but RL was really busy for a while and also I was in bit of a slump with this story...😭😭😭 also, sorry for killing all that fluff until now 😅 I promise it will be back just bare with me for a few chapters 😁 anyway, let me know what you think! 😘❤💚
Author: Saana
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13 (mostly, probably… might change?... J)
Genre: AU, slice of life, family life, fluff, angst
Disc.: this is a fanfiction, which means I’m a fan and this is fiction
Summary: Sho’s life falling apart in an instant and as he finds himself a single father with a five-year old boy, he decides to move back to the small town on the Chiba coast where he spent his childhood, trying to pick up the pieces of his life and raise his son…
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
The next morning Sho found Masaki - all bed hair and sleep rumpled clothes - in the kitchen, making breakfast just as he promised.
And it scared him.
Well, not Masaki or the fact that he was making breakfast (it would be more frightening if their roles would be reversed). But what scared Sho was the realization that he wanted this. He wanted to see Masaki first thing in the morning. Not just this one time or occasionally, but permanently. Every day. Preferably for the rest of his life.
But he also knew immediately that it was something he couldn’t have.
He had Shin to think of and to take care of. It was a responsibility he should not put on Masaki who was still so young, with life just starting out for him. He had his dreams and goals of his own to chase and to achieve. And Sho was not someone to stand in the way of those. Even if due to some miracle Masaki would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him, but Sho highly doubted such possibility.
Trying to keep his troubled emotions under control Sho tried to back out of the kitchen before the Masaki could notice his presence but, just his luck, he bumped into the doorframe, yelping in pain and alerting Masaki of his presence.
“Ah, Sho-chan, good mor…!” He greeted him with a smile radiant as ever but quickly clouded with worry. “Are you okay?”
Cursing under his breath and rubbing his sore elbow, Sho nodded hurriedly.
“Yeah, yeah, just clumsy in the morning,” Sho tried to wave it off. “I’ll go wake up Shin-chan or he’ll sleep forever,” he added before all but ran out of the kitchen.
For the rest of their shared morning Sho did his best to act normal. Even such a short time was pure torture for him. He needed time. More time than what was at hand at a busy morning when he had Shin and himself to get ready for the day.
He needed more time to find out what to do; how to handle these feelings. He needed time and distance…
So when a few days later Masaki called to cancel their next cooking lesson, saying he had let a few projects to pile up for his college courses and he really needed to take care of those before he ran out of time. And Sho took this unexpected chance to put the necessary distance between them.
He said Masaki shouldn’t neglect his obligations like that. And that they should just stop with the cooking lessons since it was obviously a distraction for him and if he could not act responsibly then it was an influence he did not want around his son.
It was a jerk thing to say, Sho knew that much. But he was still confused by and kind of scared of his own feelings; he had no idea how to handle them and most importantly, he knew his own weakness to say ‘no’ to Masaki when they were actually face to face. So he had to make sure that they did not meet. At least for a while; until he could get control over his feelings. Even if he knew that Shin would be sad for not seeing Masaki. But he’ll get over it. They both will. ‘I will make sure of that,’ Sho promised himself fiercely.
To keep Shin’s mood up, Sho made sure they were busy. Spending hours on the playground or the park in the afternoons; taking trips along the beach on the weekends.
This plan seemed to work more or less for several weeks.
Until he got that call…
Sho rubbed his forehead as he stared at the phone on the coffee table as if it was his greatest enemy. At this moment, it totally felt like that.
In the past half-year he could avoid to even think about their life back in Tokyo, and honestly he was happy this way. Shin was happy here, even if he still woke up crying in the middle of the night every now and then, he was getting better. So Sho wasn’t looking forward to take Shin back there now. Even if it was for only a day.
He asked if Satoshi could look after him but he couldn’t since again he was booked for the whole weekend. Sho felt déjà vu.
‘But I’m sure Masaki would love to help,’ Ohno said confidently before saying goodbye.
This time Sho was even less confident about this idea than he was the last time. Considering how he talked to him the last time, he doubted that Masaki would even take his call. But for Shin, he had to try at least, right?...
“Moshi-moshi, Sho-chan? Are you okay? Something wrong?...”
Sho was baffled to say the least that Masaki not only answered but he sounded genuinely worried. It made him feel ashamed.
“No, nothing’s wrong. But… I’m sorry to ask this again but… could you look after Shin-chan this Saturday? I have some business to take care of back in Tokyo and if possible I’d rather not drag him along to be miserable…” Sho explained with a forced laughter, trying to sound less desperate than what he felt.
“Ah!...” The long silence immediately told Sho that the answer will be ‘no’ and he couldn’t say that he was surprised. “I have an interview scheduled for a project on Saturday but…” Masaki said finally, sounding sad and Sho couldn’t decide if it was for himself or them.
“It’s okay,” he said quickly. “I understand. I’m sorry to have bothered you…” Sho added, feeling guiltier with each moment.
“Wait, Sho-chan!” Masaki interrupted him before Sho could cut the call. “If it’s okay with you, I can take him with me. Actually this interview…, I’ll talk a few people at the Chiba Zoo so… I’m sure they won’t mind and Shin-chan could have fun too. Seeing the ‘backstage’ and all…”
Sho chuckled at this, already envisioning it before him.
“I’m sure of that too. But I don’t want to burden you with this when you’re busy”
“It's not a burden. I wouldn’t offer otherwise,” Masaki insisted. “I’ll be there to pick him up in the morning, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you, Masaki-kun”
If it was possible, Sho felt even worse after he ended the call…
On Saturday morning, to avoid any awkward conversation, Sho got up early and made sure that Shin was ready to go by the time Masaki arrived.
Probably because he was not used to having to get up so early on the weekend, Shin was unusually reluctant to leave his bed even with the promise to visit the zoo with Masaki. Still, Sho who was already busy with dreading the moment the doorbell would ring, was adamant against the boy’s whining. Though Shin was still sluggish and sleepy, he perked up a bit when Masaki did arrived. Taking the chance, Sho only offered a brief greeting and made Masaki promise not to spoil him too much then they were on their way in a pretty good mood.
Sho on the other hand couldn’t say the least that he was looking forward his own trip to Tokyo…
A few hours later Sho entered a high-class restaurant. It wasn’t his first visit at such a place but now, dressed in jeans and hoodie under his jacket, he felt more than uncomfortable being there, wishing this whole ordeal to be over as soon as possible. As soon as he said his name, a pretty waitress with a polite smile led him to a private room.
“Hello, mother. Sorry to make you wait…” Sho greeted the woman who was waiting there for him. Purposely ignoring the disapproving look she gave to his outfit, Sho sat down.
Sho wasn’t even surprised when he saw no menu on the table but the waitress quickly returned with his drink, then soon the first course arrived as well. ‘As expected of mother…’ Sho thought with the least amusement as he examined the small portion of caviar and some leaves and sauce, placed on the plate in a fancy arrangement.
“So… How’s everything, son? How’s Shin-kun?” His mother asked when the waitress left the room. “You should’ve bring him too,” she added with a slightly scolding tone.
‘I’d rather not…’ Sho thought but of course he didn’t say it.
“We’re fine, thanks for asking,” he said shortly instead.
He knew it wasn’t motherly worry that made her call him now and to be honest, he would’ve rather skipped all this empty small talk and just hear what she actually wanted from him. But of course instead of that, she asked Sho about their new place and his new job. Sho tried to describe their apartment, his job and his colleagues in the best possible way. He emphasized that he enjoyed what he was doing, but he knew that behind all those smiles, she was neither impressed, nor did she approve that Sho chose to move to a middle-of-nowhere town in the countryside and to work at a 3-people so-called publishing company. Not that she would ever admit it - she was too much of a ‘lady’ for that - but Sho knew her well enough.
“I was thinking,” she finally said when they were finished with the main course. “Why don’t you and Shin-kun come over for a visit? Next week, maybe”
Sho was shocked that she proposed it so easily, so casually like she was talking about the weather when the last time… He cleared his throat, trying to find a polite way to answer, and turn down the invitation.
“After the last time I was under the impression that we’re not welcome…” he said simply and truthfully in the end.
“Nonsense!” his mother waved him off. “You must’ve misunderstood something. We’re family, after all. So, next week? You could spend the whole weekend”
Sho was pretty sure he did not misunderstand the situation. His father was yelling at him quite articulately. Blaming him for what happened; claiming that he tainted the Sakurai name. He was pretty sure that the only reason why he was not yet legally disowned, that his brother was still too young to fill the role that their parents were still expecting Sho to fill. At least Sho had a very strong suspicion that was what this whole charade of lunch date with his mother was about. Why else would she insist of them visiting right next week when they didn’t care to call even once in the past half-year?
“We can’t make it next week. We have plans already,” he said, though it wasn’t true. He didn’t want to walk into such a situation, especially not with Shin, until he knew what it was about.
“I’m sure you can re-arrange that,” his mother as always, refused to listen when the answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear. The self-entitled way she spoke made it obvious that she actually expected Sho to do whatever necessary to accommodate her wishes. It wasn’t anything new but it totally pissed Sho off now.
“I’m sorry but I can’t do that. This was the only suitable date for all parties involved and it would cause a lot of inconvenience if we had to reschedule now…” Sho lied and tried to sound as firm as possible, hoping that the real message would get through to his mother this. “Also, it’s quite a long trip with a child so I hope you understand that I need preparations for it” At least this last part was true.
For the first time, his mother let he mask slip for a moment and looked honestly shocked by Sho’s blatant refusal. She quickly collected herself though.
“Fine,” she said curtly. “Why don’t I go visit you sometime then? It’s not acceptable that you took my grandson away just like that. Just give me your new address,” she said, pulling out her planner from her handbag, pushing it toward Sho on the table.
Sho considered it for a moment but jotted down his address in the end. He still felt that he was missing something of the big picture but he was also sure that his mother would be easier to handle if such meeting would happen on his turf, so to say. He also doubted that his father would bother to go all the way to Chiba just to see him or his grandson. He always suspected that he and his parents harbored different views on how a family should be and the recent events in his life just strengthened this belief of his, but he still wanted Shin to have a relationship with his grandparents. In a kid’s life the grandparents were really important and influential the best possible way. At least they were for Sho and he wished if his son could have that too.
Obviously satisfied with this outcome, Sho’s mother stopped with the ‘family-talk’ and instead started to talk about various acquaintances whom Sho couldn’t care less about. It didn’t take long before Sho was not just bored but felt he had heard more than enough of these shallow stories of fancy houses, fast cars and unnecessarily expensive trips to such and such exotic destinations. So he couldn’t have been more grateful when his phone rang. Seeing Masaki’s name on the screen his heart skipped a beat. He quickly grabbed the device.
“Excuse me, mother, I have to take this,” he said and without waiting for her response, he quickly exited the room. “Hey, Masaki-kun! What’s…?”
The smile disappeared from Sho’s face almost instantly, replaced with quickly building panic.
He rushed back the private room, almost pushing over the waitress who was bringing them the post-lunch coffee.
“I’ve gotta go now…” he said while grabbing his jacket. He didn’t care if he was rude for not offering any explanation or for leaving her with the bill - this lunch was her idea so it felt right like this anyway.
There was no room in his mind but for one thing:
‘Shin-chan’s in hospital…’
A/N: hey there! sorry for the long wait on this update but RL was really busy for a while and also I was in bit of a slump with this story...😭😭😭 also, sorry for killing all that fluff until now 😅 I promise it will be back just bare with me for a few chapters 😁 anyway, let me know what you think! 😘❤💚