All Else (Donna/Ten) 2/3
Title: All Else
Author: saaammie
Rating: R (only for language in this part though)
Characters: Donna/Ten
Genres: Angst/Romance
Warnings: Dub-con or non-con, depending on your view. Shag-or-die. Could be triggering. And a very angsty chapter
Summary: The shag-or-die cliché. The Doctor gets bitten by a Alpyrixian mosquito and will die unless he gets "relief" within an hour.
Word count: 1,479
Status: WIP, 2/3
Author's Notes: I lied. It's taken me ages to write this and there will still be another part (with smut, I promise.) I've had immense problems with the dialogue in this chapter. i just can't get them to talk like real people. I'm also superbusy with thesis defense on Thursday and an exam next Tuesday as well as choir rehearsals and concerts.
I also have a long thing about why I consider this non-con and my reasoning behind the Doctor's reaction in the last chapter, which made more than one person angry. It's explained in the chapter, but I'll write it out more clearly behind a cut after the actual chapter, for anybody who's interested.
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Part 1 | Part 3
Donna sat on the console room floor, hugging her knees to her chest. At first, she had tried to pinpoint her feelings but as they scattered all over the place, she gave up and let herself go numb. Her throat burned and her stomach was tied into a thousand knots, but no tears came. Her eyes were completely dry.
Eventually, her legs and bum fell asleep and she heaved herself off the floor. The sharp rise in pain levels from between her legs almost made her gasp, but she pressed her lips together and held it in.
Slower than she would have liked, Donna walked to her bedroom. She half-expected it to have been turned into a sort of cell, because surely the TARDIS would be mad at her, if her master was, but the room was as large and cheerful as ever, brightly colored pillows and rugs lighting up the space. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, and steam was rising from a hot bath.
Donna stripped off her dress, realizing with a flash of shame that her knickers must still be in the console room. She sank into the bath, letting out a hiss as the water came into contact with all the tender spots on her body. Pouring soap onto a bath pouf, she scrubbed away the traces of her and the Doctor’s… Lovemaking? Hardly the right word. And wished she could scrub away the memory from her mind.
After she was cleaned and dried, Donna slipped into a pair of soft pajamas and slid between the soft covers of her bed. She stared at the ceiling and refused to think about anything at all.
It was many hours before Donna fell asleep.
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Unlike the stories, where people wake up and have a blissful moment of ignorance, Donna woke up with lead settled deep in her stomach. More out of habit than anything else, she got up and stumbled towards the kitchen in search of tea, hoping it would help break her mood.
The Doctor sat at the table, hands around a steaming cup. His hair was even more rumpled than usual and he wore his blue suit complete with shirt and tie, as opposed to yesterday’s brown t-shirt ensemble. He started when Donna stepped over the threshold. Emotions flashed across his expressive face, too fast for Donna to catch them, before his face settled into cold impassiveness.
Donna crossed her arms across her torso. She almost turned and went back out, before deciding than no, she would not be that cowardly. Without a word, she walked up the counter, pulling out a cup (the Doctor hadn’t left one out for her, like he usually did…) and pouring herself some tea from the pot. She went through the motions, putting milk and sugar in the tea, all while her thoughts were focused on the man at the table.
Making up her mind, she swirled around to face him.
“Doctor, look,” she started harshly but at her sudden voice, he flinched and her heart twisted in her chest. Biting her lip, she tried again, softer this time:
“Doctor, I… I don’t know what you want me to say.” His face twisted in a grimace and he replied in a low but clear voice.
“Sorry might be a good start.” He was using his favorite “humans are clumsly primates”-tone and the lead in Donna’s stomach turned into white hot rage.
“You think it was all fun and butterflies for me, do ya?” she ground out between clenched teeth.
The Doctor’s eyes met hers mockingly.
“You certainly didn’t waste any time before you got down to business.”
Donna’s hand shot out in a arcing motion, a slap even though he was more than a few feet from her, an automatic reaction to a harsh mental blow.
“You fucking pillock! You… Is that what you think of me? That I’m some stupid slag?”
“Evidence certainly seems to point…” And she was at his side in a second, hazy with anger and slammed a palm on the table to shut him up.
“I know I’m not your precious Rose but you bastard, you don’t get to do this to me!”
He shot up from the chair and they were face to face, chests heaving.
“Don’t you talk about her!”
“I’ll say whatever I like, I’m not a slave!” Her hands went to his chest to push him away and his hands went to her biceps, holding her fast. His fingers pressed into the same places as they had yesterday and Donna recoiled, both from the pain and the memory.
Instantly, the Doctor let her go, as fast as if her skin had burned him. He took a step back and breathed in deeply through his nose. Donna wrapped her arms around her waist, her anger replaced by weariness and sadness. As she crossed her arms, the sleeves of her pajama jacket rode up, exposing her wrists.
Donna heard the Doctor’s sharp intake of breath.
“What’s that?!” She followed his gaze to her wrists and saw the dark bruising around them, easily recognizable as finger marks.
Oddly, this hurt her more than any other of his words. How dare he mock her?
He was looking at her expectantly though, clearly awaiting an answer.
“You already know,” she ground out.
“No, Donna, I don’t,” he said in clipped tones.
She stared up at him in disbelief.
“For fuck’s sake, what do you think it is? You put them there, after all!”
His eyes widened in genuine shock and quick as lightening, he reached out for her hand, studying the bruises intently.
She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.
“Are there more?”
“What the hell do you think?”
“Donna,” and his tone was so eerily calm and icy that she didn’t dare argue more with him. Wordlessly tugging the pajama jacket to one side, she exposed her bitten shoulder and the dark marks around one of her upper arms.
The Doctor let go of her wrist and his hands fell to his sides. He seemed utterly drained, and glancing up at his face, Donna saw that it was pale as chalk.
“Donna… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I…” he trailed off and his eyes glittered brightly with unshed tears. Pity replaced her fear and confusion and she knew that something was missing from the story.
“Doctor? What do you remember… About yesterday?”
He sank back heavily into his abandoned chair at the kitchen table. He pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes and rubbed, suddenly seeming all of his 900-years old.
Quietly, he began:
“I was just outside the club when something bit me. I saw the mosquito and knew I had to get to the TARDIS and wait for it to wear off so I went looking for you. I saw you at the bar and it was like I couldn’t see you properly. Everything was hazy, like I was standing in the middle of a fog. It just got worse and worse and I could barely see or hear anything. My blood… I was burning up, every heartbeat felt like it was pumping acid through my veins. I tried to tell you what was wrong but nothing would come out right. And then… “ He shifted, face drawn.
“You were kissing me and I could feel you but I couldn’t do anything. My body wasn’t mine anymore. I tried to stop, several times, but you kept on going and I… It wasn’t… It wasn’t me. And I’d seen you in the club and I knew you wanted… But I had no choice, don’t you see?!” His tone was wild.
Donna felt sick.
“Doctor… I thought you were gonna die. That’s what you said. And you didn’t seem unaware, not like that! Doctor, I’d never done it if… If… I just wanted you to live!”
He looked lost, as if he was miles away in another kitchen on another TARDIS. He continued as if he hadn’t heard her.
“I hurt you. Why would you’ve done it if I hurt you?”
“I thought you were dying! I’d do anything to save you.” Her voice broke. “I’m so sorry, Doctor. I didn’t know. I just wanted to help.” And the tears she had kept at bay since the debacle yesterday finally came, flowing down her cheeks and chin and onto the table. She buried her head in her arms, trying to quiet her desperate sobs. Stupid, stupid Donna, always misunderstand and ruining everything…
She became aware of another pair of arms wrapped tightly around her and a head bent against hers. A soft voice was murmuring into her ears.
“I’m so sorry, Donna. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re not stupid, you’re brilliant, you’re always brilliant…” and for the first time since this whole thing had begun, she thought everything might be alright again.
Part 3
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Please review.
So In the last chapter, we had Donna and the Doctor having sex. However, I consider it to be non-consensual sex for both of them. Yes, both.
The Doctor was under the influence of not a drug, but something similar. As he describes, he has no control over his actions, but is guided by Donna's. He even tries to stop, because he feels that he doesn't want to sleep with Donna, but is unable to when Donna goads him. Since the Doctor is drugged, he is not able to give consent to sex. As you all know, the Doctor is a bit of a control freak.(remember Midnight?!) This is a similar experience for him, where he is unable to control his voice and his body and something is happening that he doesn't want to happen. That's frightening in any situation and violating in an intimate one. That's why he reacted so harshly, he was frightened and confused and violated.
Donna on the other hand is coerced into sleeping with the Doctor. She honestly believes he is going to die and she had no way of knowing that he wouldn't. She also had no way of knowing he really didn't want to sleep with her, and she would probably have ignored it anyway in order to save his life. Donna's choice was a false one, he wouldn't have died, but from her point of view, her only course of action was to go through with it, even when it was painful and uncomfortable for her.
So no surprise that emotions are running high for both of them since they both had traumatic experiences.