Moving Day (written for:andreja1989)
Title: Moving day
Pairing/Group: Sakuraiba
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: It's time for Aiba to move out of his apartment, and on with this life...
Note: The person I wrote this for said she liked Angst, so I tried!
Aiba looked around the apartment, which was filled with nothing but card boxes.
It still felt so strange, so surreal.
Even though this was the place he used to live in, it now felt unfamiliar and cold - as if none of the happy moments he had experienced here had actually happened at all.
All those happy memories. They all seemed to have vanished, seemed to have left the apartment - just as Sho had three months before.
He sighed as he recalled the day they moved in together and went to the big window that was painting the room in a bright yellow, though the warmth did not reach his heart.
He gazed at the river that was running alongside their apartment building and the recalled the times they had looked at the beautiful cherry blossoms that were blooming on the countless trees right next to the river. Of course they hadn't been able to join the actual hanami since they couldn't risk being found out, but they had watched it from their balcony every year, cuddled up together, enjoying a glass of wine or two. Aiba's heart ached remembering this and he had to force himself away from the window.
All of those memories, they seemed to be so far away now. And things like that would never be possible again. He would never sit there with Sho again, watching the hanami.
Aiba sat down on one of the card boxes, while waiting for the moving company to ring the bell and even though he tried everything possible to avoid it, his mind went back to that dreadful evening three months ago.
It had all started as usual. Aiba had come earlier than Sho and after showering and remembering his lines for the dorama shooting that was about to start the next day, he had prepared the dinner for the both of them. Sho was supposed to be home at eleven the latest, but the finger of the clock went past one and Sho was still not there, Aiba had started to worry and had tried to call him, but the other one hadn't picked up any of those calls.
A tight knot started to build up in his stomach and he opened a can of beer in order to calm himself down.
It took another hour until he finally heard the familiar sound of the key being turned in the lock.
„Sho...“ Aiba jumped up and rushed to the hallway. „Sho, where have you been, I was...“
He stopped midsentence as he saw the expression on the other one's face. This earnestly. He knew immediately that something was wrong.
„We have to talk.“ was all the other one replied before he took off his shoes and walked towards their living room, leaving the younger one all alone in the hallway.
„Why...?“ Aiba answered perplexed, following him after a few moments. „What's wrong?“
Sho was sitting on the couch, his hands folded in his lap forcefully, obviously stressed.
Aiba would never forget that image. Neither the words that followed.
„I can't do this anymore,“ He said in a small voice, looking at Aiba with this earnest, yet slightly painful expression. „All of this. I can't be with you any longer.“
And in this very moment, the time stopped for Aiba Masaki. Everything fell silent and all he was able to do was to stare at Sho and slowly let the words sink in.
I can't be with you any longer.
He felt how he was grabbing the door frame for support, though it was a pure act of mechanism.
„Sho...“ He finally mumbled.
„I am sorry Masaki... „ He answered apologetically. „I'll pack my stuff while you're in Nagoya. You won't have to see me for a while that way. For this night, I checked in to a hotel.“
Aiba bit his lip and shook his head, still feeling trapped in this surreal silent world without time.
„No...“
„Masaki...“ Sho sighed. „I am sorry, but...“
„Why?“ He finally snapped back to reality, looking at Sho, his eyes tearing up. „Why?“
„It's better for the two of us...“
„Why?“ Aiba repeated. „Do you have another one? Did you stop loving me?“
The other one fell silent for a moment.
„Maybe...“
„What?... Sho,“ he looked at him desperately. „Please, be honest. Why?“
The older one sighed.
„It just doesn't feel right anymore. All of this. Us living together... us …. being together.“
He looked at him, the first tear running down his face.
„No... that's a lie. Be honest, Sho!“
He watched the other one get up from the couch.
„I am sorry, that I had to tell you this the day before you go to Nagoya, but trust me, it's better this way,“ He said standing right in front of him and it took Aiba a while to realize that Sho had put his hand on his shoulder. „I told Nino to check on you, he'll be here in a few minutes. I... see you when you're back.“
And with that, he walked past the younger one who was unable to follow him, unable to say something, unable to do anything at all.
Only after he heard the door being closed, his legs gave out and he collapsed in the door frame, sobbing and crying.
He brushed away a tear hurriedly, forcing himself to be strong. He couldn't welcome the moving company crying after all.
Though honestly, crying was basically the only thing he wanted to do.
Three months had passed since Sho's sudden break up and though he had been in Nagoya most of the time, whenever he had to see Sho for a shooting, whenever he had to talk to him, whenever he had to force a smile around him, whenever he spotted one of the countless magazines with him on the cover, whenever he had to think about him and whenever he couldn't sleep at night because of him, it hurt to the point that he thought his heart would burst into tiny little pieces any second.
Maybe all of this would have been easier if Sho had only given him a reason, but the older one kept on ignoring every of his requests.
He had tried. He had tried so often, Aiba couldn't even count the amount of times anymore. He had called him but Sho had never picked up. He had tried to talk to him in their greenroom but the other one had only replied when absolutely necessary or excused himself and leaving the room.
Aiba was heartbroken. And he had absolutely no chance to get over this state. Because he couldn't accept it. Because he didn't want to accept it without proper reason.
Why on earth had he answered with 'maybe' when he had asked about having someone new? Was there someone new? Was there someone who was making him happy now, something Aiba obviously failed to do? Was he living with that person in his new apartment in Roppongi? Was this the reason for all of this?
He had tried to investigate, but since they didn't have many common friends his attempts had pretty much died before they had even started.
Sho was good at keeping private things private. And also good at separating private and business matters. And Aiba was now no longer part of his private matters as the older one's behavior showed more than obviously.
When Aiba had come home from Nagoya for a VS Arashi shooting only a few days later, all of Sho's stuff had been gone - only his stuff. The pictures of them together, the things they had bought together, Sho had not removed any of it, as if none of it would actually matter anymore and this had pained(hurt?) Aiba so much, that he had more or less escaped to Nino's apartment whenever he had to come back to Tokyo. By the time he had finished his dorama and come back for good, the band member had suggested searching for a new apartment and Aiba had agreed to that.
He just couldn't live here any longer. It all seemed so out of place, so unfamiliar, as if Aiba really didn't belong here any longer.
For now, Sho was right. It didn't feel right here anymore.
But what about all this time before? It had always felt right for him. All those years. All those moments. All those memories. But now, it was wrong. It was surreal. And he knew that he needed to move on in order to get over it. Get over Sho.
But would he be able to do that just by changing houses? He had the feeling that things wouldn't be that easy. He still loved him after all, and he still had hope, that Sho would make up his mind and come back to him. He doubted that those feelings and thoughts would vanish that easily.
It rather felt as if he had stored all of them together with his memories and things into the countless card boxes, ready to be unpacked in his new apartment.
Ready to be put in place and order.
The sudden ringing of the door bell startled him so much that he jumped a little in surprise.
It was time to move out, but was it also time to move on?
~~
Aiba was looking around the apartment, which was filled with nothing but card boxes. Card boxes that needed to be unpacked, things that needed to be organized, emotions that needed to be felt and memories that needed to be avoided.
But he was in absolutely no mood to do any of this today. It was late and he felt terrible. Nino had offered to stay over at his place and help him unpack, but he had declined that offer. He wanted to be alone.
He also didn't want him to see his new apartment at the moment. He knew that the other one would only question him about it.
He would ask why Aiba had bought an apartment that was definitely big enough for two with a king size bed in the bed room.
He wouldn't be able to say the reason out loud, though it was simple.
Because he still had hope for him and Sho in one of those card boxes.
Pairing/Group: Sakuraiba
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: It's time for Aiba to move out of his apartment, and on with this life...
Note: The person I wrote this for said she liked Angst, so I tried!
Aiba looked around the apartment, which was filled with nothing but card boxes.
It still felt so strange, so surreal.
Even though this was the place he used to live in, it now felt unfamiliar and cold - as if none of the happy moments he had experienced here had actually happened at all.
All those happy memories. They all seemed to have vanished, seemed to have left the apartment - just as Sho had three months before.
He sighed as he recalled the day they moved in together and went to the big window that was painting the room in a bright yellow, though the warmth did not reach his heart.
He gazed at the river that was running alongside their apartment building and the recalled the times they had looked at the beautiful cherry blossoms that were blooming on the countless trees right next to the river. Of course they hadn't been able to join the actual hanami since they couldn't risk being found out, but they had watched it from their balcony every year, cuddled up together, enjoying a glass of wine or two. Aiba's heart ached remembering this and he had to force himself away from the window.
All of those memories, they seemed to be so far away now. And things like that would never be possible again. He would never sit there with Sho again, watching the hanami.
Aiba sat down on one of the card boxes, while waiting for the moving company to ring the bell and even though he tried everything possible to avoid it, his mind went back to that dreadful evening three months ago.
It had all started as usual. Aiba had come earlier than Sho and after showering and remembering his lines for the dorama shooting that was about to start the next day, he had prepared the dinner for the both of them. Sho was supposed to be home at eleven the latest, but the finger of the clock went past one and Sho was still not there, Aiba had started to worry and had tried to call him, but the other one hadn't picked up any of those calls.
A tight knot started to build up in his stomach and he opened a can of beer in order to calm himself down.
It took another hour until he finally heard the familiar sound of the key being turned in the lock.
„Sho...“ Aiba jumped up and rushed to the hallway. „Sho, where have you been, I was...“
He stopped midsentence as he saw the expression on the other one's face. This earnestly. He knew immediately that something was wrong.
„We have to talk.“ was all the other one replied before he took off his shoes and walked towards their living room, leaving the younger one all alone in the hallway.
„Why...?“ Aiba answered perplexed, following him after a few moments. „What's wrong?“
Sho was sitting on the couch, his hands folded in his lap forcefully, obviously stressed.
Aiba would never forget that image. Neither the words that followed.
„I can't do this anymore,“ He said in a small voice, looking at Aiba with this earnest, yet slightly painful expression. „All of this. I can't be with you any longer.“
And in this very moment, the time stopped for Aiba Masaki. Everything fell silent and all he was able to do was to stare at Sho and slowly let the words sink in.
I can't be with you any longer.
He felt how he was grabbing the door frame for support, though it was a pure act of mechanism.
„Sho...“ He finally mumbled.
„I am sorry Masaki... „ He answered apologetically. „I'll pack my stuff while you're in Nagoya. You won't have to see me for a while that way. For this night, I checked in to a hotel.“
Aiba bit his lip and shook his head, still feeling trapped in this surreal silent world without time.
„No...“
„Masaki...“ Sho sighed. „I am sorry, but...“
„Why?“ He finally snapped back to reality, looking at Sho, his eyes tearing up. „Why?“
„It's better for the two of us...“
„Why?“ Aiba repeated. „Do you have another one? Did you stop loving me?“
The other one fell silent for a moment.
„Maybe...“
„What?... Sho,“ he looked at him desperately. „Please, be honest. Why?“
The older one sighed.
„It just doesn't feel right anymore. All of this. Us living together... us …. being together.“
He looked at him, the first tear running down his face.
„No... that's a lie. Be honest, Sho!“
He watched the other one get up from the couch.
„I am sorry, that I had to tell you this the day before you go to Nagoya, but trust me, it's better this way,“ He said standing right in front of him and it took Aiba a while to realize that Sho had put his hand on his shoulder. „I told Nino to check on you, he'll be here in a few minutes. I... see you when you're back.“
And with that, he walked past the younger one who was unable to follow him, unable to say something, unable to do anything at all.
Only after he heard the door being closed, his legs gave out and he collapsed in the door frame, sobbing and crying.
He brushed away a tear hurriedly, forcing himself to be strong. He couldn't welcome the moving company crying after all.
Though honestly, crying was basically the only thing he wanted to do.
Three months had passed since Sho's sudden break up and though he had been in Nagoya most of the time, whenever he had to see Sho for a shooting, whenever he had to talk to him, whenever he had to force a smile around him, whenever he spotted one of the countless magazines with him on the cover, whenever he had to think about him and whenever he couldn't sleep at night because of him, it hurt to the point that he thought his heart would burst into tiny little pieces any second.
Maybe all of this would have been easier if Sho had only given him a reason, but the older one kept on ignoring every of his requests.
He had tried. He had tried so often, Aiba couldn't even count the amount of times anymore. He had called him but Sho had never picked up. He had tried to talk to him in their greenroom but the other one had only replied when absolutely necessary or excused himself and leaving the room.
Aiba was heartbroken. And he had absolutely no chance to get over this state. Because he couldn't accept it. Because he didn't want to accept it without proper reason.
Why on earth had he answered with 'maybe' when he had asked about having someone new? Was there someone new? Was there someone who was making him happy now, something Aiba obviously failed to do? Was he living with that person in his new apartment in Roppongi? Was this the reason for all of this?
He had tried to investigate, but since they didn't have many common friends his attempts had pretty much died before they had even started.
Sho was good at keeping private things private. And also good at separating private and business matters. And Aiba was now no longer part of his private matters as the older one's behavior showed more than obviously.
When Aiba had come home from Nagoya for a VS Arashi shooting only a few days later, all of Sho's stuff had been gone - only his stuff. The pictures of them together, the things they had bought together, Sho had not removed any of it, as if none of it would actually matter anymore and this had pained(hurt?) Aiba so much, that he had more or less escaped to Nino's apartment whenever he had to come back to Tokyo. By the time he had finished his dorama and come back for good, the band member had suggested searching for a new apartment and Aiba had agreed to that.
He just couldn't live here any longer. It all seemed so out of place, so unfamiliar, as if Aiba really didn't belong here any longer.
For now, Sho was right. It didn't feel right here anymore.
But what about all this time before? It had always felt right for him. All those years. All those moments. All those memories. But now, it was wrong. It was surreal. And he knew that he needed to move on in order to get over it. Get over Sho.
But would he be able to do that just by changing houses? He had the feeling that things wouldn't be that easy. He still loved him after all, and he still had hope, that Sho would make up his mind and come back to him. He doubted that those feelings and thoughts would vanish that easily.
It rather felt as if he had stored all of them together with his memories and things into the countless card boxes, ready to be unpacked in his new apartment.
Ready to be put in place and order.
The sudden ringing of the door bell startled him so much that he jumped a little in surprise.
It was time to move out, but was it also time to move on?
~~
Aiba was looking around the apartment, which was filled with nothing but card boxes. Card boxes that needed to be unpacked, things that needed to be organized, emotions that needed to be felt and memories that needed to be avoided.
But he was in absolutely no mood to do any of this today. It was late and he felt terrible. Nino had offered to stay over at his place and help him unpack, but he had declined that offer. He wanted to be alone.
He also didn't want him to see his new apartment at the moment. He knew that the other one would only question him about it.
He would ask why Aiba had bought an apartment that was definitely big enough for two with a king size bed in the bed room.
He wouldn't be able to say the reason out loud, though it was simple.
Because he still had hope for him and Sho in one of those card boxes.