SHIT!@##! i'm friggin freaking the fuck out!
so my last entry was just deleted! cockchaos! here it goes again
ian is back in the ER. i don't know how to feel about this and a lot of stuff....its kind of complicated. the rain is pouring sideways, you can tell its stinging and it constantly makes this tap tap tapping noise on my window....kind of like my life. and when its not just raining sideways and stinging your face its pounding as hard as it can up against my window with the wind howling fiercly in the background....seeing if i can withold.
went smoking today with colby. got an insight that i didn't care about to something i didn't care about. i think i annoy a lot of people here. god....i try and i fail. i keep sneezing, i think i'm getting sick. i kind of just want to die....i have no where to go, i feel really unloved.....
i wish the rain would stop.....
but it never does...
ian is back in the ER. i don't know how to feel about this and a lot of stuff....its kind of complicated. the rain is pouring sideways, you can tell its stinging and it constantly makes this tap tap tapping noise on my window....kind of like my life. and when its not just raining sideways and stinging your face its pounding as hard as it can up against my window with the wind howling fiercly in the background....seeing if i can withold.
went smoking today with colby. got an insight that i didn't care about to something i didn't care about. i think i annoy a lot of people here. god....i try and i fail. i keep sneezing, i think i'm getting sick. i kind of just want to die....i have no where to go, i feel really unloved.....
i wish the rain would stop.....
but it never does...