"want to outrace the speed of pain"
and it's ME!!...again...
Miss my Brit terribly...fianlly got a phone call from her tonight...and I feel like she's losing her faith in me...
I wish I was as perfect as she wants me to be...someone she could come to with her spiritual problems..but I'm not..I dont have the religious beliefs she has and it's really eating away at her. I feel like I am going to lose her because I don't belive the way she does...
Brit-" It's not like I'm going to come back from camp and say that I don't want to be with you"
Me- "but whats going to stop you from saying it in a week or a month or a year?"
Brit-" I don't know..."
^^^^^ That is going to haunt me the rest of my life^^^^^
I want to merry this girl...there is no doubt about it in my mind and I would do almost anything to keep her...but somethings aren't always possible...I haven't slept or eaten and I pretty much feel like shit because I AM NOT everything I can be for her...I almost got into an accident on the freeway because I was sobbing so hard after this conversation << So friggin EMO I hate it...but it's true...
I don't know what to say or do to make this better becasue it has to come from her side.. I was already miserable becasue I'm not going to see her till this weekend ( she left Sunday) and now with this torturing my dreams...I don't know what I'll do...bleh...I hate spinning in circles...
Miss my Brit terribly...fianlly got a phone call from her tonight...and I feel like she's losing her faith in me...
I wish I was as perfect as she wants me to be...someone she could come to with her spiritual problems..but I'm not..I dont have the religious beliefs she has and it's really eating away at her. I feel like I am going to lose her because I don't belive the way she does...
Brit-" It's not like I'm going to come back from camp and say that I don't want to be with you"
Me- "but whats going to stop you from saying it in a week or a month or a year?"
Brit-" I don't know..."
^^^^^ That is going to haunt me the rest of my life^^^^^
I want to merry this girl...there is no doubt about it in my mind and I would do almost anything to keep her...but somethings aren't always possible...I haven't slept or eaten and I pretty much feel like shit because I AM NOT everything I can be for her...I almost got into an accident on the freeway because I was sobbing so hard after this conversation << So friggin EMO I hate it...but it's true...
I don't know what to say or do to make this better becasue it has to come from her side.. I was already miserable becasue I'm not going to see her till this weekend ( she left Sunday) and now with this torturing my dreams...I don't know what I'll do...bleh...I hate spinning in circles...