(no subject)
As the intercranial cosmos lacks any deeply philosophical ponderings that really just equate to meaningless drivel when all the poignant and multisyllabic language is untangled, I'm just going to subsitute it with a completely irrelevant meme about the things that live in my head, kay? ;D
Because Jane is presently braindead and couldn't think of anything mildly interesting or original to offer ^__^.
~WHAT YOU MUST DO~
a) Copy the questions!
b) List 12 of your characters. Give brief (if you're like me, translate this as, "AS FAWKING BIG AS YOU WANT 8D!") descriptions.
c) Answer the questions ^__^.
I hope you found these instructions handy! Do you think I could make a living writing redundant directions on self-explanatory devices?
(NOTE: Make the list before you read the questions. Premedidated randomness makes the tooth-fairy cry ;__;)
1. Zhetan - A world-weary, peripatetic lone wolf with a penchant for poisons and a sense of humour that would make a rock weep (with despair). Despite his dour and pessimistic attitude, he somehow managed to attract the affections of a prince who is, in many respects, Zhe's complete antithesis. I spend many fond hours plotting how to ruin his life, which, technically, is really quite ruined already. Zhe spends most of his time ensconced in his niche in brainspace, occasionally interposing with acerbic remarks but otherwise keeping to himself. When he cares to emerge, it is usually involuntarily embroiled in some hideously frilly feminine concoction of ribbons, lace, and suffocating skirts, courtesy of my mate Jenna ;D.
2.Jabez - The 1970's red-headed ball of reckless teenage energy who has established himself as a dominant personality in headspace, and can most often be found sashaying around in his cousin's dresses (but he does NOT have a girly figure - he has a very sexy surfer's body, thank you very much {as according to him}). Jez drinks more coffee than should be humanly possible, and has an uncanny sixth sense when it comes to detecting chocolate. His hobbies include cross-dressing, surfing, cooking, hijacking shopping trolleys to bewitch for racing up streets at night, stalking people in malls, and inventing new sports that ultimately end in trips to the emergency room. He has a blue plush bunny named Foofy that has been a constant companion since he was two, and a twin brother. And - being of HP Marauder's Era design - he is Hufflepuff, despite being everything that a Hufflepuff is most emphatically not.
3.Llyndur - The second youngest of the royal Kvelevere brood, and a patent nuisance. Llyndur conducts all mischievous enterprises, especially those that involve a foray into the kitchens to pinch fresh bread. With a head of nacreous curls, Llyndur has quite the angelic appearance, but his penchant for mischief is widely known. When not swinging from light fittings, bawling ribald poetry in the dining hall, mortifying his father in front of the esteemed council by dancing upon the benches, or prancing in the orchard on a hunt for any disgusting (preferably dead ) objects to stick under unsuspecting brothers' pillows, Llyndur can be found invading Zhetan's privacy, meddling with his things, hiding his things, breaking his things, and generally driving him up the wall. Fortunately, Zhe has acquired a measure of patience when it comes to the inquisitive prince, and manages to refrain from throttling him.
4.Kedatu - Fatally cursed by an army of vengeful phantoms - and missing two fingers on his sword hand - Ked is not the happiest of characters occupying brainspace. He hails from a desert tribe of nomadic gyspy-elf-type people who emerge annually from their enclave to travel and trade about the land. Ked makes a useful ghost detector. He has a personality very similar to Zhe's, hence why - when they deign to acknowledge each other - they tend to get along moderately well . Generally, he is arrogant, pedantic, resentful, and determined to be unhappy. And he has a younger sister, Njarkindwi, of whom he is obsessively protective (to a point where local vegetation can be savagely pruned for daring to wave in her direction).
5.Rayde - Second-born of the Kvelevere brood, eldest of twins, and Zhe's royal lover (though goodness only knows why... it just sort of - happened). Daddy's didactic diplomat and Mummy's precious pet, beloved by all and sundry, Rayde is the perfect prince, although his obeisant exterior hides a mischievous spirit to rival that of his brother Llyndur's. Rayde loves extravagant clothing (he must always embody the apex of sartorial splendour), roses, running/dancing/riding in the rain, cuddles, reading, sleeping in Zhe's lap, and fresh bread. Especially fresh bread - when he gets a craving, it has to be satisfied with all haste. So, if the bread has inexplicably disappeared, you can almost rest assured that he's the culprit.
6.Njarkindwi - Kedatu's younger sister, Njarkindwi is a strong-willed young women with a playful spirit and a pet snake named Sinzoka. Bubbly and sweet, she is quite a tribe darling, and tends to get everything she wants. She is also impatient and in possession of quite a fierce temper. Njar loves to socialise and has a fondness for alcohol, something of which Kedatu is not very approving. She is not entirely appreciative of his protectiveness - although she loves her brother dearly, he is very easy to lose patience with. Njar has a budding musical talent and fills the role of minstrel in the Sekubian trader's caravan. She enjoys singing, dancing, and chasing insects.
7.Eidann- Third eldest of the Kvelevere princes and Rayde's twin, Eidann is his father's loyal shadow. Surly, boring, and narrow-minded, Eidann disapproves severely of frivolity and prefers to practice politics than tomfoolery. He considers himself to be very manly indeed, and is more often than not preaching kingdom policy in the council chambers. Somewhat power-hungry, Eidann would like nothing more than to be king, but doesn't possess the traits desirable of a monarch. Dann is not very family-oriented; Llyndur occupies the lowest rung on his ladder of tolerance, and Caillh's inquisitive company tends to wear very thin very quickly. All in all, Eidann has his heart in the right place, but just doesn't project as a very nice guy. And he really, really hates Zhetan.
8.Silubhain - Half-human, half-selky, Silubhain is the silver-haired captain of the bonny pirate schooner Fionn Muirean. He likes booze, women, and singing, usually in that order. Sil has a pet imp named Tuig, who speaks with a thick Irish brogue and thinks himself an authority on all human behaviours. Tuig and Sil enjoy a love/hate relationship which involves much mocking and throwing of convenient objects. Sil's accidental discovery of a seal-skin when he was nine led to the disappearance of his selky mother, and the sudden abandonment has left Sil a little bitter and resentful towards his father Jenische, from whom he's comfortably estranged. Being a freebooter, he's obsessed with shiny things, particularly the shiny things that will fetch him a good price on the black market. And, for a freebooter, he has very good hygiene practises.
9.Caillh - The youngest Kvelevere, Caillh has an inordinate fascination with anything and everything. Curious and loquacious, most of his speech comprises of questions, and he has a talent for squeezing three or more completely unrelated subjects into a single, surprisingly coherent sentence. Zhetan has become something of a role-model to him, and is Caillh's favourite - albeit reluctant - source of information. Being the youngest by quite a substantial span of years, Caillh is adored by (most of) his brothers, and is spoilt rotten by his family. Also being considerably smaller than any of his brothers (he still has a little bit of growing to do), Caillh has the honour of being the default nominee for being shoved through the kitchen window when Rayde gets a bread craving.
10.Kaiaoki - One of the latest to join the crew, Kaiaoki is a chain-smoking bounty hunter who drinks like a fish and swears like there's no tomorrow. A failed experiment from an illegal underground genetics project that was crashed by the authorities, Kaiaoki managed to escape the ensuing debaucle and now devotes his talents to hunting down and destroying other errant experiments. He can usually be found haunting the sleazy subterranean establishments in the slum district. Kai loves his bike (it's sexy), but pretty much hates everything else. He hires himself out illegally to desperate government agencies who need an efficient and reliable way to get rid of their little “accidents” quickly and quietly.
11.Beau - Beau Tyson Briar is a sixteen-year-old parody of Sleeping Beauty. He's sweet, a little uncoordinated, and a lot naive. He's also narcoleptic and has a rather emo sense of fashion. Suffers from a wool allergy and an anxiety disorder which causes sporadic twitching. Very trusting and child-like. Beau has a fear of blood and octogenarians, and a morbid fascination with sharp pointy things. His hands are perpetually gloved in bandages due to an unfortunate tendency to prick his fingers (i.e when exploring latest sharp pointy fixation). He gets from place to place on a state-of-the-art flying spinning wheel. Beau also has an imaginary friend, known best as Belle. She knits.
12.Evadne - The family darling, Eva is Jabez's favourite eccentric and proudly voluptuous cousin. An enthusiastic hairdresser with a love of dressing the male species in pink and lace, Eva delights in using Jez as her own personal mannequin. She's loud, irreverent, and has quite a high opinion of herself. Eva always makes an indelible first impression, and is the kind of person you either really love, or really, really hate. She considers herself the local authority on cross-dressing and lap-dancing, and taught her cousins everything they know.
1)Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Njarkindwi) or 11 (Beau)? What subjects would they teach?
Probably Beau, although it would have to be a nice, small, friendly class with a lot of patience, seeing as crowds make him panicky and he's likely to fall asleep in the middle of a lecture. Beau would teach Art and Technics (I think that's also called Manual Arts?): Art, because Beau likes an excuse to make a mess (and because lino-cutting tools fascinate him); Technics, because it involves a lot of sharp, pointy objects (although, typically, it also involves a fair amount of blood, too). The most Njarkindwi could teach a class would be how to chase shiny insects, how to catch shiny insects, and how to make funny shadows with one's hands.
02) Do you think 2 (Jabez) is hot? How hot?
Of course he's hot! If he wasn't hot, how do you think he'd get away with half the stuff he does? Besides, he cross-dresses, lap-dances, surfs, and makes a wicked chicken curry. I mean, come on - secretly, we all want our own cross-dressing lap-dancing surfer curry chef.
03) 12 (Evadne) sends 8 (Silubhain) on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
The mission would probably be something along the lines of “Dress Zhe in this random hideous dress while he's asleep”. Eva has a love/hate relationship with Zhe: she's the love, he's the hate . Sil, being typically drunk and giggly, would accept just because he's too plastered to fully comprehend the dangers. And Zhe, being a light sleeper (and, well, it would probably be rather hard to maintain a state of blissful unconsciousness while being manhandled by a drunken pirate), is pretty quick to uncover their fiendish plot. Sil is found bound and gagged with the random hideous dress, tied to a tree and fortunate to have escaped castration. Mission evaluation: successful failure.
4)What is or would be 9's (Caillh) favorite book?
Encyclopedia Britannica. At least it would get him out of Zhetan's hair. A out from under his feet. And out of his garden, and his room, and the tree outside his room...
05) Would it make more sense for 2 (Jabez) to swear fealty to 6 (Njarkindwi), or the other way around?
Honestly, I think a scenario of that type would involve them as drinking buddies, with the fealty being sworn to their flagons, their toes, and the bar snacks, after which they would begin an impromptu table dance and accidentally knock each other out cold with drunkenly flailing limbs.
06) For some reason, 5 (Rayde) is looking for a roommate. Should he/she share a studio apartment with 9 (Caillh) or with 10 (Kaiaoki)?
Caillh would definitely be the safest option. Kaiaoki's living habits are pretty much all catalogued under Rayde's “most hated”, so if Kai didn't die of oxygen deprivation due to being forced to smoke in a closet, Rayde would probably just go crazy and kill him anyway. With the toaster. And the toilet brush. How does that work? Well, drive Rayde insane and you just might find out .
07) 2 (Jabez), 7 (Eidann) and 12 (Evadne) have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
They go to the local fish-and-chip shop, much to Eidann's disgust. Jez and Eva strike up a conversation about lingerie and lap-dancing while smothering chips in salt and vinegar. Eidann loses his appetite and leaves at the first opportunity. The end kthnx bai .
08) 3 (Llyndur) challenges 10 (Kaiaoki) to a duel. What happens?
See Llyndur run. Run, Llyndur, run! See Llyndur die. Die, Llyndur, die! Kaiaoki wins . Turns out that a well-aimed pillow just isn't as effective as a bullet in the jugular .
09) If 1 (Zhetan) stole 8's (Silubhain) most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
Sil's most precious possession being the poniard that, when not hidden under his pillow is kept securely in his breeches, I don't really want to know how or why Zhetan stole it. But, quite simply, Sil would - calmly and civilly - threaten to blow Zhe's brains out with his pistol (.58 Harper's Ferry flintlock, 10 inch barrel, walnut with brass hardware, naval grade ), and then politely demand that said pilfered effect be immediately restored. If that proved to be ineffective, Sil would swipe the knife at the opportune moment, kick Zhe in the groin, and then run away laughing. And then Rayde would go after him with a really big stick .
10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 (Eidann) and 12 (Evadne) both attain what they most desire.
“Politics Are a Drag - How to Cross-dress For Senatorial Success”. Because Eva has plans to introduce the global male populace to the wonders of lingerie , and Eidann aspires to rule the political arena, seeing as Daddy won't let him be king .
11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 (Kedatu) and 1 (Zhetan) to work together?
Alcohol, a squirrel, some rope, and a challenge to prove their hunting prowess. That or we just throw in Evadne and some frilly frocks .
12) If 7 (Eidann) visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
On Saturday, after arguing over the television (because I want to watch pointless and grotesque weekend cartoons and he wants to numb his brain with news), I spite him by taping over his parliamentary debates with French porn from the SBS. He returns the favour by taping over Thank God You're Here with the Mandarin News. I plant a pair of frilly knickers under his pillow. He spends the night on the couch. On Sunday, we spend breakfast arguing over the validity of the political views presented in South Park; as I may not be told that I am wrong, I serve porridge and spike his portion with tabasco sauce. We then attempt to stab each other with the spoons. And he goes home and complains at length to his father, who smiles and nods and doesn't really give a damn, and then Dann never ever visits again, and we are happy, yay!
13) If you could command 3 (Llyndur) to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
Steal me a donut. Glazed, chocolate icing, with those funky little sprinkles on the top...
14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11 (Beau)?
Beau hasn't really reached that status yet...
15) If 2 (Jabez) had to choose sides between 4 (Kedatu) and 5 (Rayde), which would it be?
Rayde, no contest. Jabez generally doesn't side with people who threaten to kill him every five minutes. Sorry, Kedatu .
16) What might 10 (Kaiaoki) shout while charging into battle?
Oh, I think something along the lines of, “#$%# ^&$%@# ^&*&%^!!!” Which, in the interests of child-friendly broadcasting, translates as, “BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!”
17) If you chose a song to represent 8 (Silubhain), which song would you choose?
Wicked Game, by... whomever it's by - I have the Gregorian Chant cover. Just because it was the only song to hand that seemed plausible .
18) 1 (Zhetan), 6 (Njarkindwi), and 12 (Evadne) are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
Njarkindwi graciously renounces her claim on the provender (probably because she's already scoffed down a whole basket of fortune cookies). Zhetan subsequently initiates an intense staring contest with Evadne, employing his mad skills of prestidigitation to smuggle a fork/chopstick/misc. eating utensil off the table, and surreptitiously attempts to stab her in the thigh. Evadne promptly flashes him, and then steals the morsel in the ensuing moments of utter shock. Zhetan spends the next few days traumatised over the revelation of female anatomy, and is never able to eat at a Chinese restaurant ever again.
19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 (Jabez) to use on 10 (Kaiaoki)?
If Jez tried anything even remotely resembling a pick-up line, Kai would shoot him without batting an eyelid. His safest bet would be a quick pinch on the backside and a hasty exit, and even then, Kai would probably still shoot him. Hell, Kai would shoot him for fun !
20) What would 5 (Rayde) most likely be arrested for?
Flagrant Bread Thievery? Gross Overuse of Silk in Costume? Or possibly manslaughter, because the sleeves of his houppelandes are so ridiculously long, they're always threatening someone's feet...
21) What is 6's (Njarkindwi) secret?
She's a little light-fingered - if she likes it, she'll pilfer it. Just don't tell Kedatu, because then he'll know that it was really her who stole that seed-cake, for which he was blamed.
22) If 11 (Beau) and 9 (Caillh) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Definitely Beau. Even though Caillh has the benefit of brothers to piggy-back him, the fastest Kvelevere would be hard-pressed to beat a flying spinning wheel.
23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 (Eidann) or 8 (Silubhain)?
I'd have to take Sil - chances are, he'll be completely off his face, but hey, mess with him and he'll puke on your shoes! Eidann likes to think he's tough and manly, but at the first hint of a threat, he'd probably run off squealing. Besides, Sil has a knife, and even if he's in no fit state to use it, it's in such an awkward place that not many people would be bold enough to disarm him .
24) 1 (Zhetan) and 9 (Caillh) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's (Kedatu) sinister secret organization. 11 (Beau) volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he is actually a spy for 4 (Kedatu). Meanwhile, 4 (Kedatu) has kidnapped 12 (Evadne) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Rayde), they seek out 3 (Llyndur), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?
Aplotalypse Now ;D . But, really, in what universe are Zhe and Caillh an elite crime-fighting unit, and Ked a genius criminal mastermind, and Rayde a source of sagacious counsel? Eva would slap Ked stupid and then scratch his eyes out. And Beau couldn't spy on a rock...
~*~
AND THAT'S ALL FOLKS! 8D