(no subject)
i want to sleep and never wake up.
i want to sit and feel myself melt away from existance.
i want to have a moment of peace to see me through each day.
i want to have self control.
i dont know whats wrong at the moment. somethings going on in there. last night i was having an amazing time - possibly one of the greatest nights of my life, but my head was screaming at me the whole time.
my head has been erratic lately. going from calm to complete over drive in an instant. but it doesnt go back as quickly. it hanges there and then begins to degenerate. but when its getting to normal, i panic and it flips back to over drive again. its making me ill, i cant sleep well anymore, i cant focus most of the time.
ive been thinking for a long time now. ive looked through old entries. meditated on old thoughts. reviewed all i can remember to this point and ive made a decision - i need to see someone, because i think i need help.
i want to sit and feel myself melt away from existance.
i want to have a moment of peace to see me through each day.
i want to have self control.
i dont know whats wrong at the moment. somethings going on in there. last night i was having an amazing time - possibly one of the greatest nights of my life, but my head was screaming at me the whole time.
my head has been erratic lately. going from calm to complete over drive in an instant. but it doesnt go back as quickly. it hanges there and then begins to degenerate. but when its getting to normal, i panic and it flips back to over drive again. its making me ill, i cant sleep well anymore, i cant focus most of the time.
ive been thinking for a long time now. ive looked through old entries. meditated on old thoughts. reviewed all i can remember to this point and ive made a decision - i need to see someone, because i think i need help.