Gardening Weather
Today's Gardening Report
Mostly weedy, with a slight chance of scattered fire ants. Expect highs in the crabgrass today on account of the low mowing trend we've seen developing around the area for the past several months. Temperatures ranging from the mid-high sixties into the mid-seventies this afternoon - sunny, lightly breezy. Scattered dogs around the area, but expect low incidence of face-licking if you're on your knees on the patio, since naps in the sun were more prevalent this morning.
Gloves and tools are strong today, with sunblock application lower than expected, but picking up later this afternoon, when we expect a slight chance of planting yesterday's herbs, after a short expected shower in the early afternoon (possibility of lunch, but predictions are sketchy at best).
In Other News Around the Yard Today:
Random Herb Sightings About Town
Long-time local resident W. Yarrow was sighted around the yard today in unexpected places. It is unclear at this point to what extent Mr. Yarrow has spread his seed, but eye-witness accounts suggest a massive eradication project may be in order for local management, due to the high number of sightings. Unverified reports say also that Yarrow has often been accompanied by Random Lemonbalm, and a Ms. O. Regano. Herb Maintenance professionals in the area were more concerned with today's weedy weather, but plans are reportedly in place to address the issues at hand.
Water Consumption at All-Time Low for the Year; Locals Demand Justice
Due to recent gang activity (local branch of Canine Pack suspected), several sprinkler heads and hoses around the area have been discovered vandalized, sometimes even destroyed. A certain white dog has been spotted tossing a large green sprinkler around the yard, trailing plastic bits in her wake - she is also suspected to be behind some recent hole-digging (although, authorities are unsure of the connection just yet). Said local magistrate and Mistress Gardener Laura (aka s1ren), "That damned dog." Plans are in place to repair and replace damaged equipment as needed; local resident Compost Bin has pledged support and materials to aid the efforts in filling the holes, but had nothing to say on the matter of the hoses and sprinklers.
Area Bush Found Dead; Authorities Still Investigating Possible Causes
Long time area resident M. Orchid Tree was found dead this morning in the Herb Garden area of the yard, the remains partially concealed behind a large Rosemary (the rosemary has been cleared of suspicion by investigators). Authorities are unsure of the cause, and are investigating reports that M.O. Tree's health had been flagging over the recent winter and may in fact have been hampered by well-meaning neighbors during a recent pruning project. It is unclear at this point whether pruning, canine vandalism, or proximity to another large bush competing for resources are contributing factors. More news as the investigation continues. However, the local magistrate had this to say: "Goddamnit. Where am I going to get another one of those?"
Other Recent Local Headlines
* It is unclear at this point what exactly transpired over the winter, as the local crabgrass explosion has recently hampered visibility from the back porch; but several area Plumagoes appear to have vacated the Yard at some point over the past two months. Red Mandevilla also appears to have gone missing.
* Pink Jasmine, whom neighbors reported to have gone missing and was suspected to have died in December, has made a triumphant return to the Trellis Garden neighborhood of the Yard. This morning's weather, and the efforts of local authorities have rendered Pink's habitat livable again, and expect great things from the returned vine. Said local dog, "Mmm, tasty," (though Dog's interest was quickly subdued by authorities). Accompanying Jasmine was one "Spanish" Lavender, who was discovered to have been hiding behind a tall stand of catch-weed and a variety of sweet grass that had until recently been a favorite haunt of the aforementioned canine gang.
Join us again this evening for an expanded weather report, and a heart-warming story of welcome new green neighbors in several area beds and borders. And now a word from our sponsor:
Try Pink Sunblock Today! It's itchy, melts off your skin in a matter of minutes and doesn't really work - but it smells GREAT! Available in area Bathroom Cabinets today!
.
Mostly weedy, with a slight chance of scattered fire ants. Expect highs in the crabgrass today on account of the low mowing trend we've seen developing around the area for the past several months. Temperatures ranging from the mid-high sixties into the mid-seventies this afternoon - sunny, lightly breezy. Scattered dogs around the area, but expect low incidence of face-licking if you're on your knees on the patio, since naps in the sun were more prevalent this morning.
Gloves and tools are strong today, with sunblock application lower than expected, but picking up later this afternoon, when we expect a slight chance of planting yesterday's herbs, after a short expected shower in the early afternoon (possibility of lunch, but predictions are sketchy at best).
In Other News Around the Yard Today:
Random Herb Sightings About Town
Long-time local resident W. Yarrow was sighted around the yard today in unexpected places. It is unclear at this point to what extent Mr. Yarrow has spread his seed, but eye-witness accounts suggest a massive eradication project may be in order for local management, due to the high number of sightings. Unverified reports say also that Yarrow has often been accompanied by Random Lemonbalm, and a Ms. O. Regano. Herb Maintenance professionals in the area were more concerned with today's weedy weather, but plans are reportedly in place to address the issues at hand.
Water Consumption at All-Time Low for the Year; Locals Demand Justice
Due to recent gang activity (local branch of Canine Pack suspected), several sprinkler heads and hoses around the area have been discovered vandalized, sometimes even destroyed. A certain white dog has been spotted tossing a large green sprinkler around the yard, trailing plastic bits in her wake - she is also suspected to be behind some recent hole-digging (although, authorities are unsure of the connection just yet). Said local magistrate and Mistress Gardener Laura (aka s1ren), "That damned dog." Plans are in place to repair and replace damaged equipment as needed; local resident Compost Bin has pledged support and materials to aid the efforts in filling the holes, but had nothing to say on the matter of the hoses and sprinklers.
Area Bush Found Dead; Authorities Still Investigating Possible Causes
Long time area resident M. Orchid Tree was found dead this morning in the Herb Garden area of the yard, the remains partially concealed behind a large Rosemary (the rosemary has been cleared of suspicion by investigators). Authorities are unsure of the cause, and are investigating reports that M.O. Tree's health had been flagging over the recent winter and may in fact have been hampered by well-meaning neighbors during a recent pruning project. It is unclear at this point whether pruning, canine vandalism, or proximity to another large bush competing for resources are contributing factors. More news as the investigation continues. However, the local magistrate had this to say: "Goddamnit. Where am I going to get another one of those?"
Other Recent Local Headlines
* It is unclear at this point what exactly transpired over the winter, as the local crabgrass explosion has recently hampered visibility from the back porch; but several area Plumagoes appear to have vacated the Yard at some point over the past two months. Red Mandevilla also appears to have gone missing.
* Pink Jasmine, whom neighbors reported to have gone missing and was suspected to have died in December, has made a triumphant return to the Trellis Garden neighborhood of the Yard. This morning's weather, and the efforts of local authorities have rendered Pink's habitat livable again, and expect great things from the returned vine. Said local dog, "Mmm, tasty," (though Dog's interest was quickly subdued by authorities). Accompanying Jasmine was one "Spanish" Lavender, who was discovered to have been hiding behind a tall stand of catch-weed and a variety of sweet grass that had until recently been a favorite haunt of the aforementioned canine gang.
Join us again this evening for an expanded weather report, and a heart-warming story of welcome new green neighbors in several area beds and borders. And now a word from our sponsor:
Try Pink Sunblock Today! It's itchy, melts off your skin in a matter of minutes and doesn't really work - but it smells GREAT! Available in area Bathroom Cabinets today!
.