Big fat drabble post...
Hey all! So, I participated in the '12 Days of Halloween' challenge over at
dramionedrabble , and now that it's over I thought I'd go ahead and share some of the drabbles I had written!
I will give you fair warning...I write silly humor almost constantly. It's just what I do. And I adore writing funny!Draco. SO, if you want a laugh, or just some lighthearted fun, check em out! :)
p.s. these cuts are messed up, but it's all one big post, so yeah...
Fooled ya! 208 words.
Title: Fooled ya!
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Word Count: 208
Notes: For the Halloween challenge, day 2, "scream" prompt.
Hermione was busy doing her nightly head-girl rounds of Hogwarts castle, making sure the place was free of goblins, ogres and murderers. You know, the usual.
As she walked down the hallway she hummed to herself, as she was feeling particularly lighthearted this evening, all hallows eve.
Rounding the corner, her eyes were met with an awful, horrible sight.
Draco Malfoy lay sprawled across the floor, appearing to have been hexed to death, blood surrounding his body.
Hermione dropped to her knees, half deafened by the sounds of her own screams and fighting back the intense urge to vomit everywhere.
“DRACO! DRACO, NO!” she cried.
Just then a mocking laugh began ringing out over her cries, a laugh so self-satisfied and obnoxious that it could only belong to Draco Malfoy, the assumed dead victim.
“Oh, Granger, I knew you were madly in love with me. You couldn’t ever stand to loose me. So…shall we shag now or shall we shag later?” Draco laughed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“You are SUCH a wanker!” Hermione shouted, forcefully shoving Malfoy back down into the “blood” (ketchup in this case), and took off faster than a speeding bullet, her ears and the halls still filled with the sound of Malfoys terrible laughter.
Trapped. 226 words.
Title: Trapped
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: G
Word Count: 226
Notes: Written for the Halloween challenge, day 4 prompt: Eerie.
There’s only one word that comes to mind about now, well, besides- hellish, annoying, or agonizing. That word would be eerie. The definition of eerie is “strange and frightening.” So yeah, this is eerie all right.
Of all the places I could be, with all the people in the world, somehow I got stuck here, wherever here is, with Draco “ferret boy” Malfoy. Strange and frightening indeed.
But you want to know the really scary thing? We’ve been here waiting for someone to find us for what must be a good 3 hours, since there seems to be anti-apparition spells in place, and we haven’t yet killed each other.
Sure, I still have the urge to tear his eyes out of their sockets every 5 minutes or so, which is pretty much every time he talks, and he just KEEPS TALKING…but I’ve resisted. Fight the powers that be, right?
“Hey Granger…”
Great, here we go again. Fight it Hermione, you don’t want to have to add ‘murderer’ to your list of rule breakings.
“GraaaAAAAnnngerrr….”
Just ignore it and it’ll go away.
“GRANGER!”
“WHAT MALFOY? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST KEEP QUIET SO I CAN THINK OF A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE?! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT THIS TIME?!”
“I just wanted to say hi. It’s too quiet in here.”
Dear Merlin, kill me now.
Meet The Malfoys. 433 words.
Title: Meet The Malfoys
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: PG/PG-13'ish (language)
Word Count: 433
Notes: Written for the Halloween Challenge, Day 5 prompt: Haunted. I went long on this one, sorry. There wasn't really a way to do one like this any shorter. I also went for some light fluff here, not remotely Halloween'ish. lol :)
Dinner at the Manor was never something Hermione looked forward to. In fact, she’d have rather cut off her own foot than endure another night of Lucius’ evil glares and Narcissa’s backhanded compliments, not to mention their bickering. But tonight was a special occasion and she knew there was no getting out of it. Tonight her and Draco were dropping the bomb about their engagement.
They sat around the table, tension filling the air, and Hermione felt like she might forget to breath.
It didn’t take long for Narcissa to start. “What a lovely dress dear, you must have found it on sale.”
“Don’t be silly Cissy, the girl spends OUR money now, remember?” came Lucius’ snide retort.
And this was how the night progressed. This was how every night with the elder Mafoys progressed.
Hermione watched them, listened to them, and took in their vindictiveness as calmly as she could. It was like catching a bizarre glimpse of her future, and it wasn’t one she liked. It haunted her. It was too frightening to take. And she froze.
Then somewhere, in the eye of the storm, amidst the vaguely hidden scowls, and thinly veiled insults, Draco was out with it. “We’re getting married.”
Panic. Chaos. Shambles. The storm raged like never before.
Knowing it wouldn’t end anytime soon and that he wouldn’t get a word in edgewise, Draco pulled Hermione away and they were out of there quicker than two mudblood animagus bats out of pureblood hell.
Draco had long ago noticed Hermione’s very un-Hermione-like frozen disposition. “What is it Granger? You seem to have gone mad since dinner. I thought it went well, all things considered. I mean, neither of us are hexed or dead, so we’ve got that going for us.”
Hermione exploded. “Your parents. In 20 years we’ll be them. I don’t want to be them. I can’t do it. I wont do it. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to find some other mudblood to marry if you want to continue pissing your parents off.”
“Very funny Granger. You really have gone mad. There’s no way we could ever end up like my parents. For one thing, I’m far better looking than even my father, and you’ve got all that hair. Plus they’re insane. We’re not. Well, you may be a bit on the loony side, but I assure you I am sane enough for the both of us.”
“I suppose, but…”
“Besides, there’s only one mudblood I want to piss my parents off with, and that’s you.”
“Shit. I’m going to be a Malfoy.”
“That you are, Granger.”
Inside My Head. 302 words.
Title: Inside My Head
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: PG
Word Count: 302
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 6 prompt: Exorcist.
Up until a couple months ago you could have asked me my thoughts on feelings and love, and if you were lucky enough that I didn’t hex you into the ground for asking me such a bloody stupid girly question, my answer would have gone something like this- Feelings? Yuck. Love? All love really means is communicable disease.
But then she worked her way into my head. And now I cant think straight.
Really, I must be losing my mind. Ever since I’ve been with her it’s like no matter what I’m doing or where I go she’s always there. Figuratively, I mean. I hear her voice in the back of my head nagging me every time I’m about to do something incredibly hilarious, or “wrong” as she calls it.
Like earlier today, I was all set to harass Potter and the Weasel and HER voice in my head stopped me!
When the hell did my conscience turn into HER? Actually, when the hell did I develop a conscience to begin with?! Most likely the same time she snaked her way into my life. How very psuedo-Slytherin of her.
Well, It’s all her fault! Everything is. I shouldn’t be acting this way or feeling this way. I’m not supposed to feel anything! Ever!
But dammit, when I see her, I completely forget that I’m losing my mind and I don’t care anymore. Why does she have to be so smart and moral and cute and loud and intriguing? WHY? Someone better call me an exorcist before I loose it completely.
I guess I’m done for.
I suppose there could be worse things than feelings and love.
SEE? I should never be thinking things like that!
Well, whatever I suppose. I’m resigned. As long as it’s with Granger, bring on the communicable disease.
In Dreams. 164 words. Note: This one isn't funny, it's rather sad actually. :/
Title: In Dreams
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: G
Word Count: 164
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 7 prompt: Spooky. This is my shortest drabble yet! :)
She walked up to him in slow motion. She seemed to be floating on air. She was wearing a white silk nightgown that flowed with the breeze behind her. Her full curls were windswept around her head, creating a halo over her. Her amber eyes seemed to glow and shimmer with the reflecting moonlight that poured through the windows. As she neared him an eerie smile played across her lips.
She reached out for him, inviting him to take her hand. He tried to grasp on to her, but she was already starting to fade.
“I’ll be with you Draco. Forever.” she whispered, as she disappeared into nothingness.
He awoke with a start, cold sweat pouring down his face.
His dreams of her spooked him almost to the point of insomnia, but he forced himself to sleep night after night, so he could have them. They were bittersweet. He loved them and hated them. They were all he had left to remember her by.
The Sweetest Torture. 346 words.
Title: The Sweetest Torture
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 346
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 9 prompt: Torture. Pretty far post Hogwarts. I thought I'd have a bit of flirty/teasing/fluffy fun here.
The Ministry of Magic ball was the event of the evening. Draco and Hermione arrived arm in arm, all smiles. Hermione wore her emerald green satin dress that clung in all the right places, the one that always left Draco speechless and drooling. They were immediately greeted by their respective friends and co-workers of their departments, and pulled apart.
“See you in a couple hours Malfoy.” Hermione gave him a smile and wink as she was being pulled away.
“Can’t wait.” Draco winked back.
All through the evening Draco stole glances of Hermione. He watched her mingle and socialize, watched her carelessly laugh her infectious, adorable laugh. He watched the way she repeatedly tucked her full hair behind her ears, watched the way her lips pursed when she sipped her champagne, watched the way her hips moved when she walked, and watched the way that green satin dress moved with them, enticing him.
It was the sweetest torture watching her, knowing that she was his and nobody else’s, but not being able to take her at that very second. He would have if he could. Right there in the middle of the floor, in front of everyone.
Glancing up from her current conversation, Hermione was delightfully surprised to catch Draco’s full on stare, a mischievous smirk playing across his face. Returning the same mischievous smirk, she immersed her pointer finger into her drink, and slowly stirred it, then brought it up into her mouth and sucked the liquid off slowly, teasingly, and pulled it out with a pop.
That was it for Draco. He couldn’t take it a second longer. He walked as briskly as he could to her without drawing too much attention from the other partygoers.
“That’s it. We’re going home. NOW.” He commanded, grabbing her arm and pulling her alongside him towards the door.
“What’s the rush?” Hermione couldn’t help but tease, knowing full well what the "rush" was.
“It’s you…and that damned dress. It's torture. As much as I love to see you in it, I love getting you out of it even more!”
Evil Is As Evil Does. 162 words.
Title: Evil Is As Evil Does
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: G
Word Count: 162
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 10 prompt: Evil.
“Draco Malfoy, you are an evil, evil man.”
“Errr…evil is as evil does?”
“You’re attempting to use that as an explanation? Do you even know what that means?”
“I know it sounds good.”
“What it means is that you basically confirmed my initial accusation. You admitted to being an evil man. It means you are what you do, and you, Draco Malfoy, do evil things.”
“Since when is making endearing gestures of love for one’s spectacular, amazing, wonderful, most beautiful, smartest, did I mention most beautiful, girlfriend considered evil?”
“Since you grabbed some other girls arse, that’s when!”
“I swear I thought it was you! I only saw her from behind! Err…And I had just had my eye’s dilated…and it was sunny, and I think I may have been getting pink eye, and the wind blew something into my eyes, and…”
A giggle and a roll of the eyes.
“I love you.”
A resigned sigh.
“I love you too, you evil man.”
dramionedrabble , and now that it's over I thought I'd go ahead and share some of the drabbles I had written!
I will give you fair warning...I write silly humor almost constantly. It's just what I do. And I adore writing funny!Draco. SO, if you want a laugh, or just some lighthearted fun, check em out! :)
p.s. these cuts are messed up, but it's all one big post, so yeah...
Fooled ya! 208 words.
Title: Fooled ya!
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Word Count: 208
Notes: For the Halloween challenge, day 2, "scream" prompt.
Hermione was busy doing her nightly head-girl rounds of Hogwarts castle, making sure the place was free of goblins, ogres and murderers. You know, the usual.
As she walked down the hallway she hummed to herself, as she was feeling particularly lighthearted this evening, all hallows eve.
Rounding the corner, her eyes were met with an awful, horrible sight.
Draco Malfoy lay sprawled across the floor, appearing to have been hexed to death, blood surrounding his body.
Hermione dropped to her knees, half deafened by the sounds of her own screams and fighting back the intense urge to vomit everywhere.
“DRACO! DRACO, NO!” she cried.
Just then a mocking laugh began ringing out over her cries, a laugh so self-satisfied and obnoxious that it could only belong to Draco Malfoy, the assumed dead victim.
“Oh, Granger, I knew you were madly in love with me. You couldn’t ever stand to loose me. So…shall we shag now or shall we shag later?” Draco laughed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“You are SUCH a wanker!” Hermione shouted, forcefully shoving Malfoy back down into the “blood” (ketchup in this case), and took off faster than a speeding bullet, her ears and the halls still filled with the sound of Malfoys terrible laughter.
Trapped. 226 words.
Title: Trapped
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: G
Word Count: 226
Notes: Written for the Halloween challenge, day 4 prompt: Eerie.
There’s only one word that comes to mind about now, well, besides- hellish, annoying, or agonizing. That word would be eerie. The definition of eerie is “strange and frightening.” So yeah, this is eerie all right.
Of all the places I could be, with all the people in the world, somehow I got stuck here, wherever here is, with Draco “ferret boy” Malfoy. Strange and frightening indeed.
But you want to know the really scary thing? We’ve been here waiting for someone to find us for what must be a good 3 hours, since there seems to be anti-apparition spells in place, and we haven’t yet killed each other.
Sure, I still have the urge to tear his eyes out of their sockets every 5 minutes or so, which is pretty much every time he talks, and he just KEEPS TALKING…but I’ve resisted. Fight the powers that be, right?
“Hey Granger…”
Great, here we go again. Fight it Hermione, you don’t want to have to add ‘murderer’ to your list of rule breakings.
“GraaaAAAAnnngerrr….”
Just ignore it and it’ll go away.
“GRANGER!”
“WHAT MALFOY? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST KEEP QUIET SO I CAN THINK OF A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE?! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT THIS TIME?!”
“I just wanted to say hi. It’s too quiet in here.”
Dear Merlin, kill me now.
Meet The Malfoys. 433 words.
Title: Meet The Malfoys
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: PG/PG-13'ish (language)
Word Count: 433
Notes: Written for the Halloween Challenge, Day 5 prompt: Haunted. I went long on this one, sorry. There wasn't really a way to do one like this any shorter. I also went for some light fluff here, not remotely Halloween'ish. lol :)
Dinner at the Manor was never something Hermione looked forward to. In fact, she’d have rather cut off her own foot than endure another night of Lucius’ evil glares and Narcissa’s backhanded compliments, not to mention their bickering. But tonight was a special occasion and she knew there was no getting out of it. Tonight her and Draco were dropping the bomb about their engagement.
They sat around the table, tension filling the air, and Hermione felt like she might forget to breath.
It didn’t take long for Narcissa to start. “What a lovely dress dear, you must have found it on sale.”
“Don’t be silly Cissy, the girl spends OUR money now, remember?” came Lucius’ snide retort.
And this was how the night progressed. This was how every night with the elder Mafoys progressed.
Hermione watched them, listened to them, and took in their vindictiveness as calmly as she could. It was like catching a bizarre glimpse of her future, and it wasn’t one she liked. It haunted her. It was too frightening to take. And she froze.
Then somewhere, in the eye of the storm, amidst the vaguely hidden scowls, and thinly veiled insults, Draco was out with it. “We’re getting married.”
Panic. Chaos. Shambles. The storm raged like never before.
Knowing it wouldn’t end anytime soon and that he wouldn’t get a word in edgewise, Draco pulled Hermione away and they were out of there quicker than two mudblood animagus bats out of pureblood hell.
Draco had long ago noticed Hermione’s very un-Hermione-like frozen disposition. “What is it Granger? You seem to have gone mad since dinner. I thought it went well, all things considered. I mean, neither of us are hexed or dead, so we’ve got that going for us.”
Hermione exploded. “Your parents. In 20 years we’ll be them. I don’t want to be them. I can’t do it. I wont do it. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to find some other mudblood to marry if you want to continue pissing your parents off.”
“Very funny Granger. You really have gone mad. There’s no way we could ever end up like my parents. For one thing, I’m far better looking than even my father, and you’ve got all that hair. Plus they’re insane. We’re not. Well, you may be a bit on the loony side, but I assure you I am sane enough for the both of us.”
“I suppose, but…”
“Besides, there’s only one mudblood I want to piss my parents off with, and that’s you.”
“Shit. I’m going to be a Malfoy.”
“That you are, Granger.”
Inside My Head. 302 words.
Title: Inside My Head
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: PG
Word Count: 302
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 6 prompt: Exorcist.
Up until a couple months ago you could have asked me my thoughts on feelings and love, and if you were lucky enough that I didn’t hex you into the ground for asking me such a bloody stupid girly question, my answer would have gone something like this- Feelings? Yuck. Love? All love really means is communicable disease.
But then she worked her way into my head. And now I cant think straight.
Really, I must be losing my mind. Ever since I’ve been with her it’s like no matter what I’m doing or where I go she’s always there. Figuratively, I mean. I hear her voice in the back of my head nagging me every time I’m about to do something incredibly hilarious, or “wrong” as she calls it.
Like earlier today, I was all set to harass Potter and the Weasel and HER voice in my head stopped me!
When the hell did my conscience turn into HER? Actually, when the hell did I develop a conscience to begin with?! Most likely the same time she snaked her way into my life. How very psuedo-Slytherin of her.
Well, It’s all her fault! Everything is. I shouldn’t be acting this way or feeling this way. I’m not supposed to feel anything! Ever!
But dammit, when I see her, I completely forget that I’m losing my mind and I don’t care anymore. Why does she have to be so smart and moral and cute and loud and intriguing? WHY? Someone better call me an exorcist before I loose it completely.
I guess I’m done for.
I suppose there could be worse things than feelings and love.
SEE? I should never be thinking things like that!
Well, whatever I suppose. I’m resigned. As long as it’s with Granger, bring on the communicable disease.
In Dreams. 164 words. Note: This one isn't funny, it's rather sad actually. :/
Title: In Dreams
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: G
Word Count: 164
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 7 prompt: Spooky. This is my shortest drabble yet! :)
She walked up to him in slow motion. She seemed to be floating on air. She was wearing a white silk nightgown that flowed with the breeze behind her. Her full curls were windswept around her head, creating a halo over her. Her amber eyes seemed to glow and shimmer with the reflecting moonlight that poured through the windows. As she neared him an eerie smile played across her lips.
She reached out for him, inviting him to take her hand. He tried to grasp on to her, but she was already starting to fade.
“I’ll be with you Draco. Forever.” she whispered, as she disappeared into nothingness.
He awoke with a start, cold sweat pouring down his face.
His dreams of her spooked him almost to the point of insomnia, but he forced himself to sleep night after night, so he could have them. They were bittersweet. He loved them and hated them. They were all he had left to remember her by.
The Sweetest Torture. 346 words.
Title: The Sweetest Torture
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 346
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 9 prompt: Torture. Pretty far post Hogwarts. I thought I'd have a bit of flirty/teasing/fluffy fun here.
The Ministry of Magic ball was the event of the evening. Draco and Hermione arrived arm in arm, all smiles. Hermione wore her emerald green satin dress that clung in all the right places, the one that always left Draco speechless and drooling. They were immediately greeted by their respective friends and co-workers of their departments, and pulled apart.
“See you in a couple hours Malfoy.” Hermione gave him a smile and wink as she was being pulled away.
“Can’t wait.” Draco winked back.
All through the evening Draco stole glances of Hermione. He watched her mingle and socialize, watched her carelessly laugh her infectious, adorable laugh. He watched the way she repeatedly tucked her full hair behind her ears, watched the way her lips pursed when she sipped her champagne, watched the way her hips moved when she walked, and watched the way that green satin dress moved with them, enticing him.
It was the sweetest torture watching her, knowing that she was his and nobody else’s, but not being able to take her at that very second. He would have if he could. Right there in the middle of the floor, in front of everyone.
Glancing up from her current conversation, Hermione was delightfully surprised to catch Draco’s full on stare, a mischievous smirk playing across his face. Returning the same mischievous smirk, she immersed her pointer finger into her drink, and slowly stirred it, then brought it up into her mouth and sucked the liquid off slowly, teasingly, and pulled it out with a pop.
That was it for Draco. He couldn’t take it a second longer. He walked as briskly as he could to her without drawing too much attention from the other partygoers.
“That’s it. We’re going home. NOW.” He commanded, grabbing her arm and pulling her alongside him towards the door.
“What’s the rush?” Hermione couldn’t help but tease, knowing full well what the "rush" was.
“It’s you…and that damned dress. It's torture. As much as I love to see you in it, I love getting you out of it even more!”
Evil Is As Evil Does. 162 words.
Title: Evil Is As Evil Does
Author:
s0methingp0etic
Rating: G
Word Count: 162
Notes: For the Halloween Challenge, Day 10 prompt: Evil.
“Draco Malfoy, you are an evil, evil man.”
“Errr…evil is as evil does?”
“You’re attempting to use that as an explanation? Do you even know what that means?”
“I know it sounds good.”
“What it means is that you basically confirmed my initial accusation. You admitted to being an evil man. It means you are what you do, and you, Draco Malfoy, do evil things.”
“Since when is making endearing gestures of love for one’s spectacular, amazing, wonderful, most beautiful, smartest, did I mention most beautiful, girlfriend considered evil?”
“Since you grabbed some other girls arse, that’s when!”
“I swear I thought it was you! I only saw her from behind! Err…And I had just had my eye’s dilated…and it was sunny, and I think I may have been getting pink eye, and the wind blew something into my eyes, and…”
A giggle and a roll of the eyes.
“I love you.”
A resigned sigh.
“I love you too, you evil man.”