I wish things didn't matter so much in life

[s0ccerchick]

Such as school. Well, It's not that it matters to me, just to my parents. Sometimes I feel like the only reason I am doing something is for my parents, but it still never ends up right. And sometimes I wish I was an only child, so that there wouldn't be other people to compare me to. My sister is the one that was so smart and always did good in school and never got in trouble. My brother was the football player/athlete who always got in trouble but shared all the stories with my parents and amused them and joined the air force to make them all proud because he knew he couldn't do well in college (I wish he at least tried). And me, the one who isnt as smart or do as well in school as my sis, gets in trouble causing stress for my parents, and just has a view in life to have fun, The view that the rest of my family doesnt seem to understand. Because I feel I have plenty of time to make things right, and have some room to mess up every now and then. But then again, I am glad I have a brother and sister. I don't know why I just started thinking about all of this. I just wish I could start over sometimes. I wish I my parents and I were much more open with each other about everything, and that I could tell them stuff whenever I want, cause theres always something I wanna say, but feel weird, so I just dont say it. I wish my parents never got divorced. And I wish my parents wouldn't worry about money so much, or wether or not I want to spend time with the other parent, or other nonsense stuff like that. I wish they'd be more laid back, or maybe I should just be more serious. But either way, I guess it doesn't matter. It'd be nice to move out of this place and be away from all this that I am used to, ya kow. But I'd miss all my friends.
And ya know what, I really like Chris. :) We've been hangin around each other like all the time since September i think. just wanted to throw that in. But anyway, just felt like takin the time to write all that........for some reason...?
But I gotta get my check and deposit and other crap. Later