Underground
I have been on haitus; hiding away from the world, trying to work out where I belong and if and how I fit in.
I know most of my limitations. You'd hope that by the time someone reaches their mid-40s that they've got a working understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses. I think I do. I certainly know that I need to be aware of my interactions with others. I work well with other people under very specific, quite controlled, conditions.
Getting those conditions right has been a bit of a faff. I don't have a particularly good track record as evidenced by the trail of broken friendships that litters the last thirty years of the London alternative scene.
But I'd not intended to write that sort of self-pitying entry when I started. So let me get on with some facts.
I entered my 45th year yesterday morning at 8:45am. I was in the office yesterday. It is a tradition to buy cakes to celebrate your birthday. I bought some Eccles cakes. Because they are crumbly and not so very festive, I also bought some cup cake frosting and some sprinkles.
I invited people to come and decorate their own Eccles cake in order to celebrate my birthday[1]
Went out for a birthday lunch. Just me, a book, and some Thai food.
Came home, had some nice presents and a lovely dinner some text messages from friends, and a glass of wine. Then to bed for a relatively good night's sleep.[2]
I have made no birthday plans. Celebrations are for real people.
Defacto rejection last week from a US agent (If you don't hear back from us within three weeks we are not interested.)
Still no response from anywhere else over the PhD proposal. I'm guessing that a month without so much as an acknowledgement of receipt is not so unusual, but once it hits six weeks then I'm not going to hear back at all? The process seems flawed to me; I fear I have become so corporate that I am lost without a SLA.
I think I am at another one of those crossroads; the ones where you need not to make a decision on a Tuesday.
[1] No one took me up on this offer.
[2] According to an iPhone app that tells me how well I slept
I know most of my limitations. You'd hope that by the time someone reaches their mid-40s that they've got a working understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses. I think I do. I certainly know that I need to be aware of my interactions with others. I work well with other people under very specific, quite controlled, conditions.
Getting those conditions right has been a bit of a faff. I don't have a particularly good track record as evidenced by the trail of broken friendships that litters the last thirty years of the London alternative scene.
But I'd not intended to write that sort of self-pitying entry when I started. So let me get on with some facts.
I entered my 45th year yesterday morning at 8:45am. I was in the office yesterday. It is a tradition to buy cakes to celebrate your birthday. I bought some Eccles cakes. Because they are crumbly and not so very festive, I also bought some cup cake frosting and some sprinkles.
I invited people to come and decorate their own Eccles cake in order to celebrate my birthday[1]
Went out for a birthday lunch. Just me, a book, and some Thai food.
Came home, had some nice presents and a lovely dinner some text messages from friends, and a glass of wine. Then to bed for a relatively good night's sleep.[2]
I have made no birthday plans. Celebrations are for real people.
Defacto rejection last week from a US agent (If you don't hear back from us within three weeks we are not interested.)
Still no response from anywhere else over the PhD proposal. I'm guessing that a month without so much as an acknowledgement of receipt is not so unusual, but once it hits six weeks then I'm not going to hear back at all? The process seems flawed to me; I fear I have become so corporate that I am lost without a SLA.
I think I am at another one of those crossroads; the ones where you need not to make a decision on a Tuesday.
[1] No one took me up on this offer.
[2] According to an iPhone app that tells me how well I slept