Muir Woods
It's relatively early morning, and there are no crowds. The sun is warm and soft. There's almost no wind, at least the foliage doesn't show it. The log railings exposed to sun rays, along the main trail are smoking with vapor. It's fascinating. In the shade, the air smells of wet dirt, pine needles and rain. The only olfactory drawback are perfumed visitors. They walk around in packs; on thick calves, wearing shorts, North Face jackets, and all-purpose water sandals, photographing every tree and in between, emitting 3 to 4 word chit chat. All they seem to be missing are charring cigars and burly prostitutes, but who am I to feel annoyed? Maybe it's because I'm jealous. I'm jealous because I've never owned sandals like that or calves, or felt the ease to comment on self-evident things and yak about nothing where it's really, really quiet. Or maybe I'm just full of shit and my last name is Snobski. Anyway, back to the burly. The red woods are full of burls. They're these sexy skin conditions visible on trunks and invisible in the roots underground. They're dark bulky cock rings if you will. If you won't, I already have. So, there are many of them and they're spectacular. I feel drawn to them, I want to climb up on these magnificent fleshy testicles, and sit on top of them. Maybe it's the potency - the fact that they contain dormant buds capable of producing a new tree if the need arises. I don't know. Anyhow, moving on. Muir Woods. Well, there isn't much more to mention, except that the trees are tall and the bark swirls upwards. The moss is moist and fresh. The ferns are quiet. The air is inexplicably tasty when inhaled. The Horse Tails are beautiful with rain drops and morning dew. The birds' trills, in waves, disperse the flow of useless thoughts. Though, not for long. The dirt is brown and sticky. The two species of wild salmon, which spawn in Redwood Creek during winter are invisible. The waters are cold and viscous. The tourists/visitors are abundant after 11 and the fresh sprouts of sequoia needles are soft like Andryusha's paws.