i still miss you man. sometimes i think of your smile and your laugh, and it makes me wanna kill to bring you back. its like my heart keeps on breaking more each day without you. no one will be what you were to me. you hold a very special place in my heart and you will always be there, i promise. sometimes i just wish youd visit me again in a dream, but i know youll do it when you think it is necessary to. ive still got your picture on my wall, one in a frame, one in my purse, and i gave one to my mom. she and jimmy miss you too. you were like a son to my mom. i know its been awhile, but itll take along time to get over you dying, even though i know you probably wanna kick my ass for being so sad, i cant help it. i know that ill see you again someday...its kinda my sanity sometimes. sometimes i wonder where you are, if your in heaven(i know you arent in hell), if youre floating around, or if you just in the ground sleeping peacefully where no one can ever bother you. i love you, i think thats something i never got to say that i wanted to. theres so many things that i wanna say that i never got to. i miss the talks we used to have and i miss fucking with you. i think that now everything i saw in you is now in your brother which i adore. thats how i know youre still here in some sense. i dont know if anyone has adapted to this yet. im afraid to talk about it bc i dont want to upset anyone. so i guess that i just have you. sorry that i havent talked to you lately before i go to bed, but know that i do think of you on a daily basis, and that i miss you. youre something special, something precious that i can never ever forget. youre my inspiration to go out and actually do things, bc i know that you wouldnt want me or anyone else to be a slacker -- i just wanna make you proud, and whenever i have a child your name is gunna be somewhere in it, and you will be there godfather, ultimatly, because i know that youll be there to help me do whats right. i love you, goodnight. love jesi
love jesi
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